


Puppy Love

by inheritanceofgeek



Series: Hope for the Future [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: (Laketown burned faster), Alternate Universe - Dogs, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amused Gandalf, Bard's Actual A++++ Parenting, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gandalf is a Troll, Grief/Mourning, Hot Single Bisexual Dads in Love, M/M, No seriously - amazing Dad, Shipper Gandalf, Shipper Sigrid, Slow Burn, Some Rule 63 (Fili and Bilbo), Thranduil's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3911809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inheritanceofgeek/pseuds/inheritanceofgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the Tumblr Prompt: "Oh no, our two dogs shagged so we might as well know each other's names!"</p><p>After the death of his wife, Thranduil has found it hard to move on. He's distanced himself away from his son, Legolas, and focussed solely on his work- pretending like nothing ever happened because then it might hurt less. However, after Legolas went off to uni, he's left in care of Legolas' faithful and loving Belgian Shepard, Tauriel. Under orders to protect and care for her at all costs, he sends her to Gandalf the Grey's Hound Sitting Service. </p><p>Widower Bard's entire life revolves around his 5 kids, 3 human and 2 canine. Sigrid's 18 and doing her ALevels alongside a part time job, Bain is 14 and acting like it and Tilda is 6 and full of just as much energy as their Norwegian Elk Hounds - Fíli and Kíli. However, with so many mouths to feed he's always working- and when he's not working he's always running around after everyone, taking them all to school/Grey's Hounds, football practice, ballet, rainbows.... It all means he's got no time for himself. </p><p>However, with the aid of two dogs, and the will of some meddling kids, these two unlikely men might find exactly what they need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gandalf the Grey's Hound Sitting Service

**Author's Note:**

> *Phew* This has taken some time to get out into the real world and away from my Laptop! It's been so long now I can't even find the original prompt. 
> 
> But yes! I saw it and I just started giggling because I could just imagine that would be how these two would meet in a Modern AU. Then of course I had to find a way to incorporate pretty much all of my ships, which meant this "One Shot" Soon grew into a ten chapter monster! 
> 
> Updates should be pretty regular as most of it is written, it just needs tweaking =)
> 
> Shout out to the wonderful East_Wind for being my Beta and coming up with the name for Gandalf's =D
> 
> They've also written a great Advert for the centre which I'll put in the notes at the bottom =) 
> 
> Oh, and as tradition, here is a link to the song which inspired the title: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwGmvek6GZ4

Thranduil’s day went like clock work. He woke up at 7:30, had a shower at 7:45 followed by breakfast at 8:10 and at the same time he fed Tauriel (his son’s loyal Belgian Shepherd). He’d then drop her off at the Gandalf the Grey’s Hound Sitting Service, and went to the office. He’d then shout at some interns, growl at some unruly clients and obsessively work on whatever project they’d set up. At lunch he went to the same café he always did and ordered the exact same lunch. Everything went as planned and everyone respected him- or else. At 17:30 he’d leave the office and pick Tauriel up on the way home. They’d have dinner at 19:00. On Wednesdays he’d call Legolas (who always asked after Tauriel first) and ask about whatever project work he was doing at University, and how his archery skills were progressing. Then after some scheduled “free time” he went to bed at 22:00. Everything went as he expected it to and nothing out of the ordinary ever happened, which suited him just find.

 

*

 

Bard’s day always started with utter chaos. At 6:30 his alarm yelled at him until he eventually worked up the effort to get out of bed. He had a quick shower before Sigrid used up all the hot water, and then grudgingly got dressed. By the time he made it downstairs, Sigrid was already making Bain and Tilda’s packed lunches, still wearing her dressing gown. An excited Kíli jumped up at her, impatiently demanding his own breakfast, whilst his brother sat expectantly by his empty bowl. When Bard entered, she’d dash off for her own shower and it was his job to feed the boys and wake up the rest of the pack. This ranged in difficulty from day to day, but considering Tilda was 6 and Bain 14, it was usually quite the challenge. He’d then get Tilda changed into her uniform and yell at Bain to do the same. Somehow they managed time for a quick bite of breakfast before they all packed into their old 4x4 for their various drop offs. Sigrid was taken to the train station so she could get into college and then he made the trip to Bain and Tilda’s respective schools, somehow getting them in on time by the skin of their teeth.

Then he went back home, picked up his kids’ two overly excited Elkhounds and walked them to Gandalf’s round the corner. By that time it was  10 O’Clock-ish and Bard had to leg it back home so he could get the car and rush off to work. Then it was all deliveries and complaints and trying to get Alfrid to be reasonable without getting himself sacked (he really needed this job). He got back at Half Six(ish) tired and angry, but the kids needed feeding and the dogs picking up. On Monday, Tilda had Rainbows, Tuesday it was ballet lessons; Wednesdays Bain stayed late for football practice and needed picking up at 7 O’Clock-ish, Thursdays Sigrid stayed late at college to finish her work so it was up to him to pick Tilda up and cook everyone their dinner. On Friday they had Fish and Chips before Saturday rolled around and he had to take Sigrid to her Saturday job at the restaurant, drop Bain off at Archery and take the boys for a walk with an excitable Tilda in tow.

He’d collapse in front of the telly and eventually drag himself off to bed at midnight. He’d stare aimlessly at the ceiling before turning to the silver Photo Frame on the side of his too-empty double bed and wonder how his beautiful wife had done it all.

 

*

 

Gandalf the Grey’s Hound Sitting Service, known colloquially as Grey’s hounds, was one of the best in the world. Whilst your average Dog Sitting company would simply take them for a walk and watch Netflix on your sofa, at Gandalf’s the dogs had a chance to be more, well, adventurous. The dogs were taken for a walk around the local dog parks in groups of 3 or 4 by qualified handlers and given lessons in agility and obedience. They even had a programme to teach working dog-puppies how to herd ducks, and had links with Guide Dogs for the Blind, helping to train young recruits in the basics. A dog who spent their days at Grey’s Hounds was a happy dog.

Of course, this meant it was harder to get into than a Secondary Private Grammar School with an Outstanding Ofsted inspection report and a Swimming Pool; not to mention the outlandish costs to run the place… If Bard’s wife hadn’t had worked there before the tumour, he’d never have been able to afford to keep Fíli and Kíli there, which would probably mean he’d have had to sell them. However, Gandalf had insisted that the family’s pets would be looked after for as long as he lived.

After Kendra died, those two pups were all that kept the family going. They’d see Tilda crying and go and lick her face. They’d beg Bain to get up and play with them when all he wanted to do was sit alone in his room in the darkness. They gave Sigrid someone to talk to about her feelings and didn't mind when she cried into their fur for hours at a time. They gave Bard an excuse to get out of the house and away from it all when the pain got too much. He could take them to the park, go for a run and be alone, without feeling like he was abandoning his remaining family. No. The family needed those dogs, and there was no way he was ever going to give them up.

 

*

 

Tauriel was not Thranduil’s dog. She was Legolas’ and before that she was Elenath’s. Elenath had been a champion trainer and had begun to pass her skills onto her son. Her dogs and her had won countless trophies and awards, which used to be on proud display, but now sat in a box in the loft where no one would ever see them. After she died, he couldn’t stand to look at them. If that stupid dog hadn’t have run out into the road, if she hadn’t had chased after it, if she hadn’t have been so pre-occupied checking if the stupid mutt was all right, then she'd never have been hit by that van, and he’d still have had his beautiful wife to hold at night. He’d wanted nothing more to do with the beasts after she’d died, and sold off all her champions to new owners. But Legolas had insisted they keep the two-year-old Belgian Shepherd. Legolas had been helping to train her and he could tell his son couldn’t bare to be parted from yet another loved one. He’d grudgingly let him keep her, so long as he kept her out of Thranduil’s way.

 

It had all gone so smoothly. Legolas was kept busy by training her, and Thranduil could go about mourning his wife in peace. Of course, his plans hit a dead end when Legolas turned 18 and went off to University. The boy had at first refused to attend, saying he just wanted to be a breeder, like his mother, but Thranduil would not hear of it. His son was to take after him in the business once he was old enough, and to do so he needed to have a degree in something at least. So off he’d gone to do a psychology degree and left Thranduil to look after the dog.

 

She wasn’t so bad once he spent time with her, and she proved useful in the possessive way she’d guard the door, but her constant need for attention was too much for Thranduil to deal with. He knew he couldn’t sell her, not without alienating his son forever, but equally he wasn’t prepared to give her the stimulation she required. His exercise was done on a treadmill, not running through muddy parks. Fencing and archery were more his forte than frisbee and fetch. So he’d asked around for a dog sitter to take her outside whilst he was at work, hoping she’d be so exhausted by the time she came home to want anything more from him than food and a pat on the head. Everyone seemed to recommend Grey’s Hounds, and whilst he was dubious of the bizarre old man with his gleaming blue eyes hidden behind a mass of grey hair, he did seem to have a way with the beasts. Thus a routine was put in place. Everyday, Tauriel would be looked after by Gandalf’s team and in the evenings she would come home and guard the inside of the house. All he needed to do was to keep her happy enough for Legolas to come back home to in the holidays, and as far as he was concerned, that was all he had to worry about.

 

What Thranduil hadn’t considered, was what exactly Tauriel was doing at the centre. He knew other dogs were there, but not quite how many or how close in proximity they would be. Whilst it was true the dogs would go out for walks together, they were also trained together, ate together and even played together. Most of the dogs there required a pack to stay healthy and happy, so that is what Gandalf provided. Himself, Éowyn, Beorn and Aragorn were in charge of a group each, and it all worked very well together, the dogs sorted into groups based on which leader suited them best.

Éowyn (who had replaced Kendra after she died) was good with dogs of any size, but liked the ones with a fun side to them, and saw nothing dull about playing fetch until sunset. Despite his mammoth size, Beorn preferred the smaller dogs, quite happy to be pulled along by over excited Chihuahuas all day long. Aragorn preferred working dogs such as those he used to keep growing up in the country, and enjoyed wrestling with them all come feeding time. Gandalf took the troublemakers, from yapping corgis to booming St. Bernard's, if the dog liked to cause mayhem, they were exactly the kind of dog he liked to be around. He knew his chargers inside out and could tell when one of them was thinking of doing something reckless or idiotic, and he enjoyed sitting back and watching it happen, only stepping in when absolutely needed. So when he spotted that a certain black haired Norwegian Elkhound and an auburn coloured Belgian Shepherd were starting to spend a lot of time with one another, he simply chuckled to himself muttering

“Remarkable. Quite remarkable. The height difference alone would make you think- but no. Oh this will be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advert for Gandalf The Grey's Dog Sitting Service, co. East_Wind:
> 
>  
> 
> Going on an unexpected journey? Need someone to watch your pooch? Call up Gandalf - proud owner of three award winning greyhounds! Hear some testimonials from satisfied customers:
> 
> "He lost my dog in the woods. That dog was like a son to me. Do not trust this man."  
> ~ Denethor, Steward to the throne of Gondor
> 
> "I let him take care of my rabbits and they came back from the old fortress mostly intact."  
> ~ Radagast the Brown
> 
> "I had 13 dogs. Gandalf took care of them for a year and when I came back there were 10."  
> ~ probably Thorin (Thorin doesn't die what are you talking about)
> 
> "He loves corgis"  
> ~ Biblo Baggins
> 
> "He took a group of nine dogs (sone were mine some weren't) on vacation to a volcano. Thankfully all but one returned. Also one fell in love with my dog and I'm blaming Gandalf for it."  
> ~ Lord Elrond


	2. An Unexpected Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tauriel's been acting weird of late. Kíli's been acting weird of late. Gandalf has been, well, Gandalf's always acting weird but he's being especially odd now. 
> 
> What could all this mean for the Greenleaf and Bowman families?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 delivered as promised.
> 
> I've tried to respond to feedback given on the last chapter, so if you spot anything you think I should work on in the future then let me know =) 
> 
> My coursework for the whole year due in next week though, so I might be too busy to submit, but hopefully I'll be able to sort something out =)
> 
> As ever, my thanks to East_Wind for being Betaring <3

“What has got into that boy?” muttered Bard as he tried to drag Kíli along on the way home. Normally when he came to pick the two of them up he’d be met with yapping and licking, but today it was only Fíli who greeted him as such. Instead, Kíli had tried to remain in the room with all the other dogs and he had to ask Eowyn for her help in extracting him, as Gandalf seemed to have disappeared off somewhere. 

They eventually got his lead on him and his brothers barks and growls seemed to calm him down. He wagged his tail as Bard ruffled his coat as a greeting, but when they tried to leave the centre, he started barking madly and scrabbling to get back into the room again.

It was like there was something in that room he couldn’t get enough of. Something he needed more than anything else, something –

“Oh no” groaned Bard “Tell me you didn’t boy. Please tell me you didn’t.”

Grudgingly, he went back inside to make some inquiries. If his suspicions were correct, then he’d kill that Vet for taking his life savings and then not performing the task. He looked guiltily at Fíli, who seemed unaffected by it all. “Sorry boy.” He muttered “It was for the best you know…”

*

Thranduil couldn’t understand it. Normally when he came down to feed Tauriel in the morning, her bowl would be completely empty from the night before, licked clean, even. But over the last week it’d been barely touched, and when he’d replaced the uneaten pellets with fresh ones, she’d seemed more interested in licking him and getting red hairs all over his suit, than actually eating her food.

“What is with you girl?” He cried as he attempted to put on her lead and get her into the car. She just kept pawing at him and whimpering. She’d never wanted this kind of attention before. Was she sick? Was something going wrong at Gandalf’s? He paused. Thinking for a moment.

If it was nothing serious, than taking her to Gandalf’s was probably the best option. If it was serious though, and it was Gandalf’s fault, then taking her there could make things worse, and Legolas would never forgive him if anything happened to her.

He tapped his phone against his leg, car keys in hand with Tauriel standing up on her hind legs, paws resting on his suit trousers. Gandalf had never messed up before, she’d always been most happy there, if anything was seriously wrong, then surely he’d know what to do. He made a compromise and decided to phone the office. After a moment, a deep voiced man picked up the phone and spoke

“Gandalf’s Hound Activity Centre. Speak.”

“It’s my son’s dog, Tauriel. I think there’s something wrong with her. She’s one of yours. Can you tell me what it is?”

There was a long pause

“Tauriel is not one of mine. She is one of Gandalf's.”

“Yes I am aware of that, but could-“

But the man had already gone. Thranduil stared at his phone. Nobody ever hanged up on him. Let alone mid sentence! He was stunned. The phone began to ring again soon after though and he answered it in such haste he almost dropped it on Tauriel's head.

“Mr Greenleaf!” Cried a familiar voice “I was expecting you to call. Is Tauriel on her way here?”

“Well I was going to bring her to you yes, but she’s been behaving in quite a ridiculous fashion of late, I don’t think you’re the person I ought to be speaking to right now. Who was that man though? The rude one. I demand to know his name! Nobody behaves that way to Thranduil Oropher Greenleaf and”

“Calm down Mr Greenleaf. All is well with Tauriel. Our veterinary team are waiting for her arrival. Dr Evenstar is here specially.”

Thranduil blinked.

“So there is something wrong with her? How do you already know that? Gandalf what are you hiding for me? I demand to know!”

The man chuckled down the phone. “Nothing is wrong with her, Mr Greenleaf. She’s quite well indeed. The father is here as well, so there’s nothing to worry about at all! We can sort it all out like gentlemen. See you in half an hour, Mr Greenleaf.” That was the second time that day he’d been hanged up on, and it was not a nice feeling.

“Right. Tauriel. In.” He demanded, pointing at the open boot. She gave him a wag of her tail and the stared at the boot, but didn’t move. “Oh for goodness” he sighed “Get in the boot, now.” He barked. But the bitch refused to move, instead licking him some more.

In the end he’d had to throw one of her old slobbery chew toys in there for her to fetch, before slamming the door down on her before she could get out. He sighed once more, sat down in his now ruined suit, and drove off, Tauriel’s howling drowning out the radio.

*

“Gandalf, how could you let this happen!” Roared Bard. “We had them both fixed when they were pups! How did this happen!”

“No procedure is 100% effective. Mistakes do happen Bard, it’s not Gandalf’s fault.” Smiled Eowyn, stroking his arm affectionately, as though he were a particularly angry hound in need of calming down.

“Dogs shouldn’t be treated in such a way.” Stated Beorn, solemnly, a floppy eared spaniel in his arms.

Bard sighed “Yes Beorn, I know your opinions on the matter. But he’s all…twitterpated! He won’t stop jumping around and barking. Haven’t you noticed this behaviour in any of your other dogs? Surely it’s not just my Kíli who’s to blame here!” The dog in question was currently trying to pick a fight with one of Aragorn’s Huskies, who was paying no attention to him at all. “And where’s the owner of this bitch. Why isn’t he here yet to answer for all this?”

“Mr Greenleaf is on his way now. He should be here in ten minutes, please, Bard, take a seat and we can all talk about this like gentlefolk.”

Bard huffed and sat down on one of the plush chairs in the office-come-dog-bed.

“I’m not happy Gandalf. You should have seen something was going on.”

“Well,” Gandalf smirked, “you told me they were both fixed. And Mr Greenleaf said nothing to me of Tauriel being in heat. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?”

Eowyn stifled a giggle at this and Bard rolled his eyes once more. He liked Gandalf, he really did, but the man could be so damn frustrating at times! It was like he fed on the chaos he was always causing.

Aragorn popped his head around the door “Arwen said to tell you Mr Greenleaf is here, and that she’s already looking at Tauriel.”

“Thank you Strider. Tell your wife we’ll be round shortly. Now.” He turned to face Bard once again “promise me you will be polite to Mr Greenleaf. He is the one who will be most affected by this, not you.” Bard let out a huff of disbelief but kept quiet “He is one of our best clients and his late-wife was a very talented breeder you know. Tauriel is a fine young thing. You’re very lucky to have a share in her pups!”

“I’d rather have no pups, thank you very much.” But he got up and accompanied Gandalf to the Vet’s office.

On entering the room, Bard’s mouth fell open. He wasn’t sure what to expect from the dog and her owner, but this wasn’t it. He’d expected Mr Greenleaf to be a businessmen, with a swish suit worth more than his house and a phone that had an app for making toast. Whilst it was clear that Mr Greenleaf was all these things, he hadn’t expected the piercing blue eyes and long flowing blonde hair. Bard’s hair was long out of habit, a relic of his punk days, but he usually kept it tied back and out of the way.Indeed, it still had some small, messy plaits in it where Tilda had been playing Hairdressers with him last night.

He suddenly felt all too aware of how unkempt he must look compared to this gorgeous man and his silken locks. Perhaps gorgeous was the wrong word to describe him, breath taking, possibly? Other Worldly? He held himself with such grace and elegance, that he didn’t quite seem human. He knew that most men did not like being called ‘beautiful’ for whatever reason, preferring ‘handsome’ or ‘sexy’, but beautiful was really the only word that could fit. None of that changed how angry he was at the man, of course.

Then there was the dog to consider. Kíli was only about 42cm high at best, but Tauriel seemed closer to 65cm. How on earth did that happen? The logistics of the matter were quite astonishing. Did he fetch a box to stand on, perhaps? Did Fíli give him a leg up? It wouldn’t be the first time the two had worked together to make his life hell.

“Mr Greenleaf, Dr Evenstar, I’d like to introduce Mr Bowman. Mr Bowman’s wife used to work here before her sad passing three years ago, before you joined us.”

Mr Greenleaf simply nodded at him “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr Bowman.”

“Bard.” He corrected automatically “Nobody calls me Mr Bowman unless they want something.” He waited for a response but Mr Greenleaf just raised a fine eyebrow at him, and gave no sense of comradeship in all of this.

“Well, Bard, Mr Greenleaf, I won’t know for sure until her blood tests come back in a couple of days or so, but I’d be confident in guessing that she’s about 2 weeks pregnant at this point.” Smiled Arwen “I know that this perhaps isn’t the news you were hoping to hear, but I’m sure you’ll get more and more excited to meet the pups once they’ve come! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Belgian Shepherd-Norwegian Elk Cross before. I’m sure they’ll be absolutely adorable!”

“Norwegian Elk?” Mr Greenleaf questioned “Aren’t they those small husky ones? Like the one outside, all yapping and trying to pick fights?”

“Well. That’s what mine are like, yes. Have a problem with Elkhounds?”

“No. Not per say. I’m just, surprised that such a small thing could cause such a lot of trouble. Are you certain this man’s dog is the culprit?”

“Culprit? What’s that meant to mean? My Kíli was acting naturally. You’re the one who shouldn’t have had her here in the first place! Who brings a bitch in heat to a place like this? You’re glad my Kíli was here to protect her!”

“Tauriel is perfectly capable of looking after herself! How was I meant to know about these things?”

Bard let out a short laugh in amazement “I don’t know, by taking an interest in her health? I mean, she is your dog yes? You’re the one who looks after her?”

Mr Greenleaf bristled at this

“Tauriel is my son’s dog. He is currently away at University, so, yes I'm the one who looks after her.”

“Well you’re doing a grand job of it!” He grinned and left the room.

“What a Prick.” Bard muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Eowyn to hear and spill her tea all over herself in a sudden splutter of laughter.

Thranduil stared after the Welshman. Well! That certainly hadn’t happened before! He was having quite a day of it. He was hung up on twice, his son’s dog was pregnant with some tiny mongrel’s pup, and the handsome owner of said mongrel had insulted him and, and, and, had made him feel guilty about it all!

Maybe, maybe he could have done a better job of looking after her. She’d been nothing but loyal all these years, and she meant the world to Legolas. His relationship with his son had always been strained. He’d been too busy running the company to pay much attention to him, but he’d always thought it for the best, keeping the company healthy and securing his son’s future in the process. 

Maybe he should have spent a bit more time with him though. After his mother’s death, he’d thrown himself into his work more than ever, maybe that had been a mistake. Legolas had just lost one parent, had Thranduil made him lose another in the process?

He looked down at Tauriel, still sitting on the vet’s table, head cocked towards him. He gave her an awkward pat on the head

“Well Tauriel, I think perhaps I owe you an apology.” The dog wagged her tail and gave his hand a lick, Thranduil took it as a sign of forgiveness and a small smile edged across his face.

Dr Evenstar coughed then, drawing his attention back to her

“As I said, Mr Greenleaf, we won’t know for certain if Tauriel is pregnant until the results come back, but I suggest you start reading up on the subject a little bit.” She handed him some leaflets “These should be a good start. No pregnancy is straightforward, but Tauriel is a very healthy dog and of a good age to give birth, I don’t think there should be too many complications.”

“How many pups can we expect, Dr Evenstar?”

She shrugged “It’s hard to tell. Anywhere between one and ten. We won’t know for certain until she’s a little further along.”

Thranduil gaped at her,

“Ten? What am I going to do with ten mongrels?”

Arwen frowned at him

“Mongrels, as you call them, tend to be the healthiest of dogs. Pedigrees usually have a whole host of issues to worry about. Why, it wouldn't surprise me if Tauriel has some Irish Setter in her, judging by her coat.”

Thranduil gave out another huff “It’ll so much harder to sell them though. Who will want such, odd looking pups?”

A fire began to kindle in Arwen’s eyes,

“I’m sure we’ll be able to help in relieving them from you, since you seem so incapable of looking after them.” She gave him a business card “I’ll call you when the results come in, but in the meantime, contact me if there are any issues.”

“I’m running late to work as it is, am I alright to leave her here?”

“You’ll have to check with Gandalf.” She replied tersely “Now if you excuse me, I have other animals to look after.”

*

That day, the staff at Gandalf’s were all abuzz with the gossip.

“I can’t believe you didn’t realise she was in heat, Gandalf!” Remarked Eowyn rubbing Tauriel’s belly “Didn’t you see anything?”

“I thought all the bitches here were spayed?” Asked Aragorn, narrowing his eyes at the old man

Gandalf let out an amused chuckle “Well, errors happen in these things. I just assumed she had been spayed. It’s not polite to ask a lady these things.” Completely ignoring Eowyn’s question

“Gandalf. What did you do?” Aragorn said, knowing the worst was to come

“Well. Nothing really. I was barely involved. I just decided not to disturb them too much. As I said, who am I to get in the way of true love?”

“Puppy love you mean.” Laughed Eowyn

“Eowyn! This isn’t funny! We could get sued for this. If Greenleaf figures out what you’ve done, he’ll make sure we fold.”

Eowyn tutted at this “We’ll be fine Strider. He should have known better than to bring her in in the first place! He’s more to blame than we are. What's wrong with it? Their puppies will be adorable!” she said, giving Tauriel an appreciative hug.

“That’s not the point Eowyn, it’s a very ser-” but before he could finish his sentence, he’d been tackled from behind by a St Bernard

“At a boy Brego.” she grinned, snapping a photo of her cousin’s dog as it proceeded to drown Aragorn in saliva.

“You’re not going to put that on Facebook are you?”

“No. There’s enough pictures on there of you wiping drool off your face. I’m putting it on snapchat for Faramir to see.”

Arwen rolled her eyes “Do you think there’ll come a day when my husband won’t be covered in dog drool?”

“Probably not.” Grinned Eowyn “This is why I’m engaged to a horse rider, less unwanted drool. You bought it on yourself, Evenstar!”

Gandalf smiled, none of them realised it, but he’d been the one to set them all up. It was amazing how animals could bring people together. First the Evenstars, then the Rohan-Gondors, and now it looked like his new project was going just swimmingly.


	3. Princess Fran-Doodle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's official, Tauriel is up the duff with several adorable buns in the oven. So it's time to let the rest of the Pack know what's happening, and for Thranduil to meet the future Aunts and Uncle of Tauriel's Pups - just as soon as he's told Legolas the joyous news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wasn't going to post this until Saturday, but I am procrastinating the serious and huge amount of coursework I have to do that's due in Friday. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, romance is beginning to blossom in this one as well, so yay!
> 
> Once again, thank you to East_Wind for being my Beta and Cheerleader =)
> 
> I'll probably post the next chapter at the weekend, but if I don't blame Eurovision.
> 
> Also I really feel like I need to apologise for giving Fíli the snip... I feel so guilty! I'm sorry my love...

Two days later, and the results came in. Tauriel was, indeed, two weeks pregnant. It was time to call Legolas. He was not going to be happy about this. He picked up on the first ring.

 

“Father.”

 

“Legolas.”

 

“Is everything okay Father? It’s not time for your weekly phone call. Has anything happened?”

 

Thranduil took a deep breath “Yes son, it’s Tauriel.”

 

“Oh Valar! Is she okay? What’s happened is she hurt? Is she missing?” The panic in his voice was evident and Thranduil felt even more guilty

 

“Tauriel is fine. She’s in prime health.” He heard a sigh of relief from the other end of the phone. “She is pregnant.”

 

There was an elongated silence “She’s pregnant.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“How did that happen, exactly?”

 

“She went into heat and I didn’t realise. She then went to Gandalf’s and became impregnated there.”

 

“She went into heat, and you didn’t realise?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Who’s the father?”

 

“A small Norwegian-Elkhound by the name of Kíli, I believe.”

 

“A Norwegian-Elkhound?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“That’s… that’s impressive. Not unheard of, but impressive none the less.” There was another pause “Father, you must promise me not to do anything rash. I know you’re probably not prepared for such things, but you promised me you’d never sell her. That you’d always make sure she was okay. You have to promise me you’ll look after her. Give her the right supplements, get her regular check-ups, that you won’t leave her alone. Promise me?”

 

“Of course son. I promise. I’ll keep you updated. I know how much she means to you.”

 

“Oh, and call the owner of the Elkhound, hopefully they’ll know all his health history and whether he’ll pass anything onto the pups. Morally, he’s also got a share in the pups. Even if there was no formal agreement.”

 

“I don’t have Mr Bowman’s phone number, but I’ll ask Gandalf for it when I see him tomorrow. Is there anything important happening where you are?”

 

There was a pause

 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve been dating Gimli for eight months. Goodnight Father.”

 

For a moment, he felt as though his entire world was being flipped around. He didn’t care that Legolas was gay, he’d known for a while. Nor that his relationship with the short, hairy engineering student was not completely of comradeship, rather one of romance. But why hadn’t he told him before hand? Eight months was a long time, after all….

 

“I’m happy for you. Goodnight son.”  

 

Tauriel came over and laid her head in his lap.

 

“Looks like you and I are going to have a busy couple of months.”

 

*

 

Bard was at work when the call came through.

 

“Shit.” He muttered, trying to balance the massive box of frozen fish he was currently packing into the van in one arm as he struggled to dish his phone out of his pocket.

 

“Bard. Talk.”

 

“Mr Bowman, it’s Mr Greenleaf here. I was hoping we would be able to meet up and discuss our, ah, current situation.”

 

Bard rolled his eyes and hefted the box into the back of the van.

 

“I told you, it’s Bard. And I don’t exactly have the time right now. Some of us have actual work to do.”

 

“And I suppose you think I sit in my office and play Candy Crush all day?”

 

“Tell me, are you currently sitting at a computer, in a nice warm office and earning above £10 an hour?” There was no response “Then there’s your answer.”

 

“Is there a more suitable time I could call? Or perhaps meet in person?”

 

“It’s Friday, so if you come round to mine, I should be around to talk. The kids will be there, but it’s not a busy night for us. I’ll be home around 6 O’clock with fish and chips.” He pursed his lips, remembering his wife’s famed hospitality “You’re welcome to join us. If you’re not above such simple dishes?”

 

“That is very kind of you, however I’m not keen to leave Tauriel alone at the moment though. Could we arrange another time? Perhaps you could come around to my house instead?”

 

“Well, it’s Friday at mine or nothing. You’re welcome to bring her along though. The kids will be happy to meet the mother of their future nieces and nephews.”

 

“I- yes. Of course. 6 O’Clock.”

 

Bard gave him the address and hung up.

 

“You got a hot date tonight then, Bard?” Asked Madge, giving him a wink

 

“Just seeing a man about a dog.” He grinned.

 

Madge shrugged “I can live in hope.” Her tone got serious then “It’s been three years, Bard. You should get out there again. It’s not good to spend all your life with kids and dogs! You need some adult conversation. It’s not too soon to start dating again.”

 

Bard laughed “And when would I have time to do that then Madge?”

 

“Oh there’s always time if you’re willing to find it.” She grinned and jumped into the driver's seat “You ready to get going or what?”

 

“Ready.” He grinned, and climbed in next to her.

 

*

 

“You mean Kíli’s going to be a Daddy!” Grinned Tilda from ear to ear, squeezing the air out of the Elkhound

 

“Awwwh, I’m sorry Fee.” Said Sigrid, giving Fíli a hug “You’ll always be my favourite man, even if you’re not packing as much as Kíli.”

 

They were sitting in the living room, eating their fish and chips in front of the telly, as was tradition. Normally they’d sit at the table, but Fridays were about relaxing.

 

“So which bitch did he knock up?” Asked Bain with a grin

 

“Bain, don’t be so vulgar.” Scolded Sigrid

 

“What? She’s a bitch! It’s the right word for her!”

 

“She’s a Belgian Shepherd by the name of Tauriel. Her and her owner are coming around soon to talk about the situation. And your sister is right, don’t use such language in front of Tilda.”

 

“So he’s bringing the bitch with him?”

 

“Bain I swear if you use that word one more time-”

 

“Oh come in Sig! Tauriel’s an actual bitch! Although I guess she’s Kíli’s bitch now”

 

Sigrid threw a pillow at his head, which is failed to duck “If you’re going to behave like that, then you can be the one to make your lunch in the morning, and you can make your own dinner as well!”

 

“Oh come on Sig! I didn’t mean it!” He whined

 

“Too little, too late.”

 

“Daaaaaaaa!”

 

“Your sister does all those things out of the goodness of her heart, Bain. She can withdraw them anytime she likes.” Sigrid stuck her tongue out as Bain pouted.

 

“What’s a bitch, Da?” Asked Tilda, looking up from her chips

 

There was an awkward silence, saved by the ringing of the bell.

 

“I’ll tell you later. Now, everyone on their best behaviour. Mr Greenleaf is a very professional man. He’s not used to us ruffians and our wild ways.”

 

“Shouldn’t we be eating at the table then?” Asked Sigrid, an eyebrow raised

 

“Well. We wouldn’t want to change too much for the man now would we?”

 

*

 

Thranduil didn't know what he expected from The Bowman’s house. He knew the clients at Gandalf’s were normally well off, and the man had two dogs so he assumed his house would be quite a lot bigger than it was. As it stood, it was a relatively small semi-detached house tucked away in a road behind a supermarket. There was a grubby, bashed up 4x4 in the driveway.

 

“So this is where the father of your children lives. You really know how to pick them, Tauriel.”

 

He rang the doorbell and was greeted by Mr Bowman, that is to say, Bard. He’d have to get over that.

 

“Mr Greenleaf” smiled his host “Welcome to our humble abode.”

 

“A pleasure Bard. Please, call me Thranduil. I suspect we’re likely to be seeing a lot of each other in the coming days, we might as well be on first name terms.” He smiled pleasantly “Ah, a gift!” He handed over the bottle of wine he’d brought with him and Bard inspected it with a quizzical look

 

“Mirkwood ’05? I’m afraid I’m not much of a wine connoisseur, but it sounds, um, delightful! Thank You. Hello Tauriel” he grinned bending down to ruffle her coat “How you keeping?” Her tail wagged and she snuffled into his arms, so he guessed that meant she was doing well.

 

“Come in and meet the rest of the family. Sigrid!” He called into the next room “Mr Greenleaf has bought a bottle of wine with him!”

 

A young female voice responded excitedly “Tell him I love him already!”

 

Thranduil smiled weakly

 

“How many children do you have, Bard?”

 

“Just the three, well, five if you include the dogs. Sigrid’s my oldest, then Bain, then Tilda who’s only six. They’re just in the front room, finishing off their dinner.”

 

“Ah yes, Fish and Chips. I do believe I was promised some as well?”

 

“Aye, I’ve given them orders not to touch yours. Though I’d be quick before Bain decides to spread a revolt” he smiled “you know what 14-year-old-boys are like I’m sure. Would you like anything to drink whilst I’m so close to the Kitchen?”

 

“Some water would be lovely, thank you.”

 

“Sure? We’ve got Juice, squash, probably got a beer in the fridge, although I’m guessing you prefer wine” he laughed “I’d offer you some but I’d rather get Tilda to bed before we start drinking anything properly.”

 

“Some tap water will be fine, thank you”

 

“Well go find yourself a seat then. They don’t bite.” And like that they was left alone in the narrow hallway amongst the coats, bags and shoes that seemed to cover every available space like a bizarre obstacle course. He thought back to his own home, the hallway must have been double this size and contain half of what this did. He drew another breath

“Come, Tauriel. Time to meet your new family.” And he stepped into the room, where he was immediately met with five pairs of inquisitive eyes and smiling faces, two with blonde hair and three with dark.

 

“Miss Sigrid, Miss Tilda, Master Bain, a pleasure to meet you all.”

 

“Valar, Da was right about him,” whispered the boy, looking at his sisters. The oldest one gave him a glare in response and stood up, dislodging a rather annoyed looking blonde Elkhound in the process.

 

“Mr Greenleaf. A pleasure to meet you. Bain, move up a bit and let Mr Greenleaf sit down. Oh is this Tauriel!”

 

The dog in question was already being licked and danced around by Kíli, he felt guilty for insulting him earlier. He wasn’t such a bad dog after all. He was excitable, yes, but he seemed attentive and affectionate all the same.

 

The teenager budged up on the large, over stuffed sofa and moved a few of the items splayed across it onto the floor. Thranduil took the offered seat, slightly conscious of what might end up on his trousers. “Please, call me Thranduil.”

 

“Are you a Princess Mr Fran-doodle?” asked the youngest child, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor

 

“Tilda.” Hissed her sister

 

“It’s just that you’ve got such lovely hair! Like Elsa’s or Rapunzel’s! I wish I had hair like yours.”

 

He smiled graciously. “No Miss Tilda. To my knowledge I am not, as you say, a princess. Although you would not be the first to assume so.” Sigrid gave a snort of laughter, but Tilda just nodded wisely. “And you already have such lovely hair, Miss Tilda.”

 

The girl sighed again “I wish it was blonde like yours and Siggy’s. Brown is such a boring colour. Ma had blonde hair and she looked lovely.” She paused “I think Da must like Blondes.”

 

“No more or less than the next man, Tilda. I love Brunettes just as much as I love Blondes.” Smiled her father. “Your drink, Thranduil. The finest tap water in the area. Oh, and I discovered our Sigrid had set your dinner aside to keep warm. She thinks of everything that girl, takes after her mother.” He gave his oldest a warm grin and went to sit next to her, picking up the Blonde Elkhound into his lap with casual ease.

 

“I’m assuming you’ve all become acquainted.”

 

“Fran-doodle was telling us how people think he’s a princess.” Said Tilda wisely.

 

“Do they now?” Replied her father with a raised eyebrow  

 

“Yes. But he’s not really one. I checked.” She whispered. Her Father gave her an indulgent smile.

 

“It’s not Fran-doodle Tilda, it’s Thranduil.” chided Sigrid, giving him an apologetic look “Say it with, Th-Ran-Dee-All”

 

“Th-Ran-Dee-All”

 

“Thranduil”

 

“Fran-do-all”

 

“It’s quite alright Miss Sigrid. It is a rather extravagant name, but it’s all I have.” Again, the six-year-old nodded wisely, as though considering the matter gravely.

 

“Can I go and play with Tauriel?” She asked instead

 

“Be my guest.” He gestured over to the dog who was now collapsed on the floor with her dark haired mate resting his head on her back “Although don’t be too rough with her.”

 

“I know!” She sang and got up to go and pet her new friend.

 

“So.” Began Bard “You had some questions for us?”

 

“Yes! I did.” He coughed and bought up the notes he’d made on his phone

 

“Wooooah!” Remarked Bain, staring excitedly at the device “Is that the latest model?”

 

“Yes, but I only purchased it recently, after my contract offered me the upgrade.” That was a bit of a lie, but he felt guilty admitting that he had every new update on pre-order, with staff to pick it up at midnight for him, when he was currently sitting on a sofa that was probably older than Tilda, and staring at a TV which was definitely not HD Ready.

 

“I’m so jealous! All the other kids at school have smartphones, but Da won’t let me have one.”

 

“Oh? Well, I’m sure your father has his reasons.”

 

“Yes. Like the price tag for one. That phone of yours has lasted a lot longer than any of those fancy devices.” Rebutted his father

 

“Sigrid has a smartphone!”

 

“Sigrid has a job and makes her own money. When you get your own paycheck, you can spend it on whatever useless technology you want.”

 

The boy huffed and crossed his arms, but didn’t say anything more on the subject. It struck Thranduil as one of those ongoing arguments that, from experience, were best left alone.

 

“Anyway.” He said, quickly changing the subject “Back to the business in hand. I wanted to ask about Kíli’s genetic history. Are there any abnormalities he might pass on that I should be aware of?”

 

Sigrid looked stricken at this “Abnormalities? There’s nothing wrong with Kíli and Fíli! They’re prime examples of their breed! Their Ma and Uncle won awards you know!” She gestured at a couple of old trophies on the mantelpiece, a little battered but polished to a perfect shine. He thought about Elenath’s awards back home and a twinge of guilt rouse up on him again.

 

“And who were his Mother and Uncle?”

 

“They were bred by Durin” replied the boy, proudly “the best small dog breeder in the land.”

 

“He was their mother’s Grandfather.” Added Bard by way of an explanation. “Kíli and Fíli’s mother is called Dís and she now lives in Scotland with my cousin. Their Uncle is called Thorin and he now lives in Sarehole, just outside of Birmingham, with, well.” His eyes twinkled “with the uppity little Corgi he set his eyes on one day.”

 

“So are there some cousins I should go and look at? See how they have dealt with being interbred?”

 

Bard gave out a bark of laughter then “If Thorin has managed to get Bilbo pregnant, than I can imagine the two of them would be a lot more famous than they are.”

 

“Bilbo’s a boy.” Explained Bain.

 

“Ah. I see. Very well. So be it.”

 

“So be it?” Questioned Sigrid “What do you mean by ‘so be it’? Do you have a problem with that at all? It is perfectly natural for a dog to be gay. This isn’t one of your ‘abnormalities’.” She glared.

 

Thranduil got the impression she did that a lot. It no doubt came from being both the oldest child and the mother figure to her siblings. The combined responsibility on such young shoulders must be tiresome at times.

 

“I meant no disrespect Miss Sigrid. I simply meant that I did not have to travel to Birmingham to meet them. It would be quite foolish of me, to hold any prejudices against the community, both canine and human.”

 

“There you go Sigrid. No need to defend us this time.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, as though she regularly had to jump to such defences. “In answer to your actual question, no. To my knowledge there are no genetic abnormalities in their blood line. Though I don’t know about their father. He was a cross breed though, had a touch of Alsatian in him. Nothing to worry about though. He was a kindly soul.”

 

Thranduil nodded “Were Fíli and Kíli the only ones of the litter?”

 

“I’m not sure, do you know kids?”

 

“I think there were a couple of girls as well.” Said Sigrid thoughtfully “I can’t recall where they ended up though… or if there’s any record of them at all, even…”

 

“Never mind. I see Fíli is healthy enough.” Smiled Thranduil. The dog looked up at him then with a deep, inquisitorial stare and Bard rubbed the scruff of his neck

 

“Aye, he’s a good dog. Helped keep the family together after Kendra, my wife, died.”

 

Thranduil looked around at the family. They seemed perfectly at ease so casually mentioning their deceased loved one. He thought about Elenath. How he’d barely spoken of her at all after her death, not even to Legolas and especially not in front of people he’d only known a few hours.

 

But this family seemed so much closer than theirs had ever been. Where as he had tried to rid his house of any memory of her, Kendra’s image seemed to be in every photo frame around the house. Her awards still stood on the mantelpiece, her daughter still spoke of her beauty and her family still thought to keep her with them.

 

Once more that evening, Thranduil felt the guilt build up in his stomach. He wondered how long he’d last before it built up too much and he did something stupid.

 

“I see. Yes.” He replied “Tauriel was a great help to my Son when we, when we went through a similar situation. So I hope you can understand my concern for her well being. I promised my son I would contact you and do all I could to keep Tauriel happy. I see she’s already enjoying herself though. He gestured towards the pile of bodies on the carpet. Tilda was playing tug-of-war with Kíli with an old bit of cloth whilst Tauriel watched on, tail wagging.

 

“She’s a grand dog.” Smiled Bard “A credit to your kid.”

 

“I shall tell him you said that.” He smiled. He did that a lot more often now too. Smiling. Usually nowadays it took a few glasses of wine to get him raising so much as a smirk, but, somehow, he was having a lot more fun here than he had expected. Eating greasy fish and chips and enjoying pleasant conversation with people he’d never even have met if it weren’t for this mishap. Perhaps all things did happen for a reason?

 

“When do you think the puppies will arrive?” Asked Bain

 

“Well, Dr. Evenstar informed me that Tauriel is roughly 2 weeks along, so in about 40 days time. Possibly longer. I’ve marked it on my calendar.”

 

“Can we be there for the birth, Da?” Asked Tilda excitedly

 

“That will be up to Thranduil to decide love, and even then, it might happen when you’re at school.”

 

“Awwwwwwwh! But I want to see the puppies being born! At school, Amy said she saw her Cat’s babies being born and there was all this gooey stuff as they came out and some of it was blood!” She jumped up and down excitedly, “And she showed us all pictures and even though they were all covered in all that icky stuff they were so tiny and cute!”

 

“Well,” smiled Thranduil “if you are not in school at the time, you are welcome to come and watch.”

 

Tilda gave a tiny fist pump and went back to playing with the dogs.

 

“What are you planning on doing with the pups once they’re born?” Asked Sigrid “I know that, technically, they’re half Kíli’s as well, but none of us had a say in these plans.”

 

“Yes, I wanted to talk to you about that. I’m aware that our situation is less than ideal, but I still feel as though you should have some say in what eventually happens to them. I don’t know yet how many there are, but I promise you that you shall have an even say in what happens to them.”

 

The children’s eyes gleamed at this and they all turned to their father, with expectant looks on their faces

 

“Da! Can we keep them? Oh please oh please oh pleeeeease!” They said in unison

 

“We’ll take good care of them!”

 

“I’ll take them for walks! And do all their training!”

 

“I’ll love them, and cuddle them, and play with them everyday!”

 

“Woah woah woah there kids!” Said their father, raising his hands in the air “In case you’ve forgotten, you already have two dogs! I really don’t think we’ll have the space for anymore. But thank you, Thranduil. It’s very much appreciated.”

 

“The offer still stands. You can keep them, sell them or give them away if you wish. But half the pups will be yours. I promised my son as such, and I’m in no desire to break such promises.”

 

Bard nodded in acknowledgement.

 

“Well, I think I’ve trespassed on your hospitality long enough, I’ll keep you up to date on how she’s doing. Goodnight. It’s been lovely meeting you. Miss Sigrid, Master Bain. Miss Tilda, I’d be liking my Tauriel back now” he grinned as the small girl clung to the Belgian Shepard,

 

“Can’t she stay a little longer?” she pouted

 

“Come on Cariad,” grinned her father, “I think it’s past your bedtime”

 

“But Da! It’s a Friday!” she whined “Why can’t I stay up late like Siggy and Bain!”

 

“Siggy and Bain will be going to bed in an hour if they know what’s good for them. Come on, go and change into your Pyjamas and I’ll go up and read to you in a bit.” With a dramatic huff, the little girl kissed goodbye to Tauriel and stomped off up the stairs.

 

“A lively girl that one.” Smiled Thranduil

 

“Aye, that she is.”

 

“Takes after her Da” winked Sigrid “Nan’s always saying so.”

 

“I shall have to take your word for that one, Miss Sigrid. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really best be off. Come along Tauriel.” The dog jumped to her feet, followed quickly by Kíli, who leapt into the air to give her another lick and the pair trotted outside the door.

 

“Awwwwh” cooed Sigrid

 

“Ewww.” Corrected Bain

 

Bard accompanied Thranduil to the front door and handed him his coat from the mess on the hanger “Your children certainly are a credit to you.”

 

“Ah, that’s more their mother’s influence than mine, I think” he laughed

 

“You must, um, miss her greatly.” Thranduil looked away “It can’t have been easy, Tilda being so young and all.”

 

Bard looked solemn for a moment “No. It wasn’t easy. I don’t think it ever is.”

 

“You’ve done a lot better by them than I ever did to Legolas. He was 16 when his mother died. Too young. I don’t think either of us handled it that well.”

 

Bard placed an arm on Thranduil shoulder and looked at him with large, warm brown eyes “There’s no handbook on these things, Thranduil. Nobody ever teaches us how to deal with death. We’ve just got to try our best.” He smiled and Thranduil thought how natural this felt, the warmth of Bard’s hand on his thin shoulder and Thranduil never wanted to look away from that gaze. The moment was broken, however, by a shout from upstairs.

 

“Da! I want my bedtime story now! You’ve been aaaaaages!”

 

“Coming Tilda.” He called up and then to Thranduil “Duty calls. Look, if you ever need to talk about this, feel free to call me. I mean, we’re about to become in-laws, after all.”

 

“Indeed. We should do this again. Thank you for such a lovely evening.”

 

Once Thranduil was gone, Bard leant back against the door letting out a deep breath. Sigrid was standing in the doorway, a smirk on her face.

 

“What?” he asked

 

She just shook her head, a Cheshire Cat grin spreading across her face.

 

“What?” he repeated

 

“Nothing Da, nothing at all. Best get up to Tilly before you end up reading the entire library to her.”

 

Bard groaned. “True, true. Okay” he shouted up at Tilda “I’m coming, I’m coming” and went up to read to his youngest daughter.

 

 

 


	4. "Heterosexual" Male Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigrid thinks it'd be a nice if Bard got out of the house and spent some time with other Single Parents in their 40s. Like Thranduil. He should go and spend the evening at Thranduil's. 
> 
> Bard agrees and so the pair spend the night in a totally platonic way with no awkward crushes heightened by the consumption of alcohol. Nope. No way. Na-ah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jsyk, Bard and Thranduil get drunk in this chapter, so if that's a concern of yours then, you know, this is a warning, I guess?
> 
> I'd also like to give a Shout-Out to the Republic of Ireland for voting in Same-Sex Marriage yesterday! You were the true winners of Europe that day <3

All throughout the next week, whenever Thranduil was mentioned, Sigrid’s wide grin would spread back across her face. The rest of the family was growing wise to it, but she refused to explain why.

 

“Do you fancy him or something?” asked Bain one day

 

“Oh Valar no.” she blanched “Not my type, remember?”

 

“Yeah, but, he’s got hair long enough to be a girl.”

 

“Bain, that’s not exactly how gender works, you do realise that?”

 

The boy shrugged “You’ve just got that same look on your face when you see Korra and Asami looking at one another, is all.”

 

“Speaking of the man, Da, when are you and Thranduil next seeing one another?” she asked, innocently.

 

“We’ve not arranged to see each other at all.” Bard frowned “Why do you ask?”

 

“Well,” she said casually “You just don’t seem to have that many friends outside of work. It might be, you know, nice if you two met up. Went to the pub or something. Got to know one another a bit better.”

 

“And who would look after you lot if I did that? Drive you all the places you needed to go?”

 

“You could always finish teaching me how to drive!”

 

Bard laughed “Yeah, not likely. Last time you almost crashed into a house!”

 

“Well, there’s always Saturday evening. I can look after the kids.”

 

“I’m not a kid!” protested Bain

 

“Yes you are.” Rebutted Sigrid quickly “It’d be nice. Go on Da! Live a little” her eyes shone in the way her Mother’s used to when she was trying to persuade him of something.

 

“Ok, Ok. I’ll give him a call. Just eat your dinner.”

 

For some reason, Bard felt nervous about calling Thranduil. The kind of nerves he used to feel when ringing someone up after a date. But he and Thranduil weren’t dating. They were just, meeting up, discussing the things single Dads do. Maybe he could give him some advice for when Sigrid went to University, or something.

 

“Fuck it” he thought and pressed dial. It picked up after the third ring

 

“Thranduil Greenleaf speaking”

 

“Thranduil! Hi, it’s me, Bard” he cringed at how lame that sounded “Just calling to say Hi” he could feel Sigrid smirking outside the room “Wondered how you were, and if, maybe you wanted to get, you know, a drink sometime. As, as friends!” he hastened to add. Did he mean as friends? He wasn’t sure. The silence at the end was killing him.

 

“That sounds, um, lovely, Bard. I’d like that very much. When would suit you best?”

 

“Er, Saturday evening some time?”

 

“Would eight at my house suit? As I said before, I promised Legolas I wouldn’t leave Tauriel alone.”

 

“Yes, that’d be, that’d be grand. Er, what’s the address” he looked around manically for a pen and paper, before Sigrid came in and handed him one, that stupid grin plastered across her face again “Ah-ha. Ah-ha. Yeah, got that. Okay, um see you Saturday at eight then! Ok. Ok. Hwyl! I mean, bye!” he hung up the phone and hit it against his head.

 

Sigrid’s grin was at full on smirk. “Hwyl.” She laughed “You know I know you only speak welsh when you’re nervous.”

 

“Oh be quiet you.”

 

“Hwyl.” She laughed as she left the room.

 

“Don’t tell Bain!” he called out in vain. Sigrid just laughed and tapped her nose.

 

*

 

Thranduil looked down at his phone. Had he just invited Bard round to his house? He hadn’t had anyone other than clients and family around in about 3 years. He looked around his office in panic. He only had two days to prepare. Would that be enough? What did he need? What did people do when they invited others round to their house?

 

Before Elenath had passed, they’d had people round all the time dinner and wine, but would that be enough? Would Bard want beer? Would he want to watch sports? Thranduil wasn’t very interested in football or rugby or anything like that. He didn’t own any video game consoles either, as Legolas had taken them to university with him. Plus what sort of games did adults even play?

 

In his youth he used to throw wild house parties, with dancing and drinking and stupid party games – but somehow he felt that wasn’t the kind of thing Bard would like, and certainly not something you did when it was just the two of you.

 

He pressed the intercom button on his desk “Miss Faye, hold all my calls for me please.”

 

“Yes Mr Greenleaf, Sir. Any reason in particular?”

 

His face flushed and was glad he hadn’t yet purchased the intercoms with video capabilities “Personal business that needs seeing to urgently. Tell them I’m in a meeting.”

 

“Of course sir.”

 

Thranduil opened up Google and hesitated for a moment, thinking about the correct phrasing for his search.

 

After a few minutes, all he seemed to find out was that most men met up to watch sports and play video games, which Thranduil really didn’t want to do. Some websites suggested ‘grilling’ as an option. He could do that, he supposed. It was perhaps a little cold outside to do it there, but grilling in the kitchen using a pan was the same thing, surely? Perhaps some grilled meat, with some choice wine (Thranduil didn’t care how un-masculine it was, wine just tasted far superior to beer, and went far better with food).

 

Other websites suggested movie ‘marathons’ were popular. James Bond, perhaps? That felt like a safe bet. Or perhaps something a bit more modern? He did have young children, after all, maybe he was more up to date on current franchises than he was?

 

Thranduil knocked his head against the desk. Why did this have to be so complicated!

 

*

 

Saturday rolled around all too quickly for either of them, and Bard found himself staring at his wardrobe forlornly. What did you wear when you were meeting a beautiful man at his house for drinks, when you’d specified that you were only doing it as friends, even though you think you fancied him anyway? What did Straight Guys wear to meet their Straight Friends?

 

Sigrid walked into his room carrying a bundle of clean washing and placed it on his bed.

 

“Sigrid!” he burst out “I told you I was getting changed! You can’t just wander in!”

 

She waved her hand from side to side, batting away his statement “Please Da, I know you. You’ve been ‘getting changed’ for twenty minutes now. Anyway, I’ve already picked out your outfit.” She handed him his one and only shirt, a pair of worn jeans, and the light fleece he wore when he took the dogs for a walk. He gave the jumper an experimental sniff

 

“You’ve managed to make it not smell of dog!” he remarked in surprise.

 

“What can I say, I’m a domestic goddess.” She said, presenting him with a pair of newly-polished black leather shoes.

 

“You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble you know.” He said, taking the shoes and giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

 

“I know Da, but this is the first time you’ve been out with a friend since Ma died. I’m not going to let you mess this up.”

 

Bard sighed “It’s not a date, Sigrid. I told you, it’s just two, single dads, spending some time with each other. Just talking and getting to know one another a bit better.”

 

Sigrid laughed as she left the room “Yeah. That’s what me and Felicity do as well.”

 

“Wait. Who’s Felicity?” he called after her. “Tell me who Felicity is!”

 

“There’s a bottle of wine on the counter for you to take with you. Make sure you’re back by eleven Da!” she waved and left him in his room clutching his shoes.

 

*

 

Bard arrived at Thranduil’s house at 8:00pm exactly. Thranduil checked that everything was in order. He’d decided to buy the James Bond Box Set, the Marvel ‘Phase One’ movies and various films starring Bruce Willis. Truth be told, he preferred more sedate films, the kind that won small time awards rather than hit the top of the box office, but these seemed more appropriate for Heterosexual Male Bonding, although he suspected that Bard was about as straight as he was. He quickly checked his hair in the hallway mirror, straightened his clothes, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

 

“Good evening Bard, please, please, come in!” Bard looked a little sheepish as he entered the house.

 

“Er, Sigrid gave this to me to give to you.” He said, holding out a bottle of wine. Thranduil examined the label. It wasn’t his usual choice and seemed to have been purchased at a supermarket rather than a merchant, however, he’d read good things about the brand and suspected that it’d go just as well with the grilled steaks he had in the fridge as his £80 bottle would.

 

“Your daughter has good taste for one so young.” He commented. Bard heaved a sigh of relief, clearly he’d been worried Thranduil wouldn’t like it.

 

“Yes, I think that should probably worry me more than it does.” He grinned, looking around the hallway. With a pang of guilt, Thranduil remembered how small Bard’s own house had been.

 

“I’ll take this through to the kitchen then, shall I? I’ve set up some snacks and some movies in the living room, if you care to go through. It’s the second door on your right.” He added

 

“Grand.” Said Bard, shaking off his worn, brown suede coat and hanging it on an empty peg by the door. Thranduil stared at it, despite how much it stood out against his pristine Belstaff’s, it still looked as though that was simply where it had always hung.

 

“Right. I’ll go pour us a glass of this, shall I? Or I have some beer in the fridge, I wasn’t sure what kind you liked, but I’ve got some Guinness, some Corona, some Budweiser…” Bard laughed

 

“You really didn’t have to go to all that trouble, you know.” He grinned “But a Guinness sounds good. My Ma always said it was more of a food than a drink, though.”

 

“I shall have to take her word for it then. Please, go through.”

 

Thranduil left Bard to it and went into the kitchen. He’d been an idiot to buy so much. Why was he so damn nervous? It was just some food and some DVDs. He could do that, surely? Thranduil grabbed his largest wine glass, filled it to the top with the nearest bottle he had at hand, and took a long swig.

 

“You’ve got quite the collection here!” Bard called from the living room “I had you pegged as more of a ‘King’s Speech’ man, than a Bond fan!”

 

Thranduil gave out a nervous laugh “Yes, well, I do have a 19 year-old son.” he called back, taking another massive gulp of wine, filling it up again before bringing Bard his Guinness. “And surely everyone likes Bond?” Bard laughed again

 

“You’d be surprised. They’re good for a laugh though. I’ve always been more into fantasies though, all that archery.”

 

“Oh, do you shoot?” he asked sitting down on the chair next to the sofa where Bard was sitting. He’d thought about sitting next to him, but decided this was probably safer.

 

“Aye, in my youth, before I got married. Bain’s taken up the hobby though, I tried to teach Sigrid, but she was more interested in sword fighting than archery.” He laughed again “What about yourself?”

 

“Same. I still try and get out on the range sometimes, you should join me one day, perhaps, when you’re not so busy. My son, Legolas, is a fine archer though. He shoots for his university team, you know.” He added proudly.

 

“I think I might just take you up on the offer some time.” He smiled “So long as Sigrid agrees to babysit again.”

 

“Does she babysit often?”

 

“Not if I can help it.” He shrugged “I know she’s taken on a lot of responsibility since her Ma’s passing. But, I still want her to be young, you know? I don’t want her to grow up too soon, she deserves a chance to make mistakes. To spend all night drinking, date the wrong people, break a few hearts. It took a fair amount of persuading to get her to take her ALevels, rather than just going straight into work.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah. She thought we needed the money. I told her that we’d been coping just fine, and would continue to cope. Even if we couldn’t afford to shop at Waitrose, Aldi was just as a good as shop, so long as you knew how to cook.”

 

“And do you?”

 

“What?”

 

“Know how to cook?”

 

Bard laughed again, “Goodness no. I mean, I’ve gotten better, I no longer burn the oven chips, but Sigrid’s the one who does the cooking in the house.” He gave out a soft laugh “Guess I feel a bit bad about that.” He coughed “What about you? Any good as a cook?”

 

Thranduil grinned, “Well, I guess we’ll be finding out tonight! I should warn you, I haven’t cooked for anyone else since Legolas started university.”

 

“I’m sure it’ll taste great.” Smiled his guest, warmly. “Anything I can help you with?”

 

“If you like.” Smiled Thranduil “Or you can just sit at the breakfast bar if you prefer.”

 

“A breakfast bar?” he said, raising an eyebrow “Well, I have gone up in the world, haven’t I?”

 

Thranduil blushed but hid it by making his way to the kitchen and setting the gas on the stove alight. “Could you pass me the steaks from the fridge?” he asked, pouring some olive oil into the pan.

 

“Valar Thranduil! How much beer did you buy?” asked the Welshman, pulling out a plate of steaks he’d seasoned earlier

 

“Well, I wasn’t sure what you’d like”

 

“You have supremely over-estimated how much I drink” he laughed, placing the plate next to Thranduil’s elbow.  “Is that how you see us lot?”

 

“What do you mean ‘us lot’?”

 

“You know, the poor and downtrodden.” He grinned

 

“I, I don’t see you as any of the sort.” He frowned “Bard, I know we move in different circles, but I never meant for you to feel-”

 

“It’s fine, Thranduil, really. I was only teasing.”

 

Thranduil's frown deepened but he went back to cooking the steaks.

 

“So what do you do for a living exactly? I mean, you’re able to keep such a nice house, and you keep Tauriel at Gandalf’s, you must do something important?”

 

Thranduil turned over the steaks, thinking carefully “Well, I wouldn’t say what I did was important in the grand scheme of things. I’m the CEO for a major environmental consultancy firm. We mainly work with government contractors, but we’ve been known to consult with companies such as Apple and Warner Brothers. It’s all a bit boring really. What do you do?”

 

“I’m basically a manager at a small goods transportation service. I say basically, because technically Alfrid is in charge, and Edgar Masterson, who come to think of it owns most of the businesses down our way, is the one who owns it; but more often or not, I’m the one running it. But still, it pays the bills.” He smiled. “Those steaks ready yet?”

 

“Almost. There’s some salad in the fridge if you fancy getting it out.”

 

“Sigrid would be proud of you, making sure I get my five-a-day.” He said, peeling the Clingfilm off of the salad he’d made just before Bard had arrived.

 

“Meat on its own is hardly a meal!”

 

“The lads at work would disagree with you there.”

 

They ended up eating their steaks at the breakfast bar, rather than in front of the television, as Thranduil had previously planned, and they spent an enjoyable evening drinking wine and talking about each other’s lives. Neither of them noticed how much they were drinking until the third bottle appeared to be empty.

 

“You know. How come I don’t see any pictures of your wife.” Bard pointed to Thranduil “I’ve got loads of pictures of Kendra, but you’ve got none. Why is that?”

 

“It’s too difficult. Don’t like reminding of her. Too painful.” He sighed, resting his head on his hand and gazing at Bard “I loved her so much. Losing her hurt a lot. Legolas kept his photos but all the ones from here” he waved around “Are in the loft.”

 

“You should put them out you know. It’s good to see them. Loved ones all about. Makes sure you don’t forget them.”

 

“I could never forget her.” He sighed “I just don’t know how to move on, I guess.”

 

“You have to live.” Said Bard gesturing with his glass “Live and remember and, and have a damn life Thranduil!”

 

“What do you think I’m doing now!” he pointed at Bard “This is me getting a life. And all because some bitch got pregnant” he laughed at his own joke, and Bard thumped him on the shoulder

 

“You’re worse than Bain!”

 

“Am not!”

 

“See! You’re behaving like a 14 year-old.”

 

“You clearly spend too much time around kids.”

 

Bard slumped back against his chair “You’re probably right.” He turned his head to face Thranduil’s. “I don’t exactly have any friends, or friends even, not since Kendra. She was my best mate, you know? The fucking best. And then.” He waved his hand “Gone. Work people are, just, you see them at work you don’t want to have to see them the rest of the time as well? You need people who you don’t work with when you’re not at work.” He frowned “That didn’t make any sense.”

 

Thranduil reached out and grabbed his hand. “Yes it did. It made perfect sense. I haven’t had any friends, or friends since Elenath. You can’t be friends with the people who work for you. And Elenath’s friends didn’t talk to me after I sold all her dogs.”

 

“You sold all her dogs?”

 

Thranduil nodded, guiltily “I didn’t really know how to care for them, and it was a dog that killed her. Well. It was a van that did. But the dogs were involved. She ran out to try and save one. Not even her dog, just some random stray. I told her not to do it. But she was just that kind of a person. One minute, we’re walking down the street together, arm in arm, the next,” he made a motion with his hand.

 

“Legolas wouldn’t let me sell Tauriel. So I had to keep her. And now I have to keep her and the puppies safe.” He looked around for her, and spotted the dog sitting in her basket, fast asleep. “Ahhhh good girl.” He murmured. “She’s a good girl. I’m not.”

 

“You’re not a good girl?” smirked Bard

 

“Not a good dad.” He corrected “I’m not a good dad. You’re a good dad. Legolas doesn’t like me.”

 

“Sure he does!”

 

“Still doesn’t make me a good dad.” He mumbled into his glass of wine.

 

“Hey, Thranduil, Thranduil. It’s not too late to change that. So you’re a shitty dad. You can change that. You can be the best damn dad there’s ever been. So you can’t read him bedtime stories. You can still read over his essays and send him book recommendations and ask about his day rather than his work. You can be a great dad.” He poked him “I know it.”

 

Thranduil looked at Bard, he had the same look in his eyes as he’d had the first night they’d talked. It made him want to melt, it was so kind and caring, so inquisitive. Thranduil got the impression that Bard really did believe he could be a great dad.

 

“You’re right. I’ll try. First thing tomorrow I’ll, I’ll find Elenath’s photos and put them up! I’ll tell Legolas I love him and, and give Tauriel lots of hugs.” He reached out to grab Bard’s arm, but missed and ended up swinging his hand down onto Bard’s thigh.

 

They both stared at it. A blush ran up Bard’s face as Thranduil quickly pulled it away. “Too much to drink.” He mumbled “Haven’t drunk this much since the office Christmas party when I ended up leading a conga line around the entire club. Wasn’t even the right music for a conga. Just seemed right.” He smiled fondly at the memory and the pair sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, until Bard’s eyes drifted over to the clock above the sink.

 

“Shit. That the time? Sigrid’ll kill me.”

 

Thranduil followed his gaze to the clock. It was 1am already. “I’m sure your daughter isn’t one for patricide” Thranduil nodded gravely “But you have been a tad irresponsible.” He shook his finger at Bard “Staying this late at a boy’s house, very irresponsible indeed.”

 

Thranduil meant it as a joke, well, half a joke at least, but Bard blushed again. Thranduil liked making Bard blush. It made him look really adorable. Broke down his tough, angry Welshman exterior, the man he’d met at Gandalf’s that day, and showed him to be the man who taught his kids how to shoot a bow and arrow, who let his six year old braid his hair, and whose greatest worry was that his oldest daughter wasn’t having the same opportunities to mess up as other eighteen year olds.

 

“Should probably go home. Can’t stay the night.”

 

“You can stay the night if you want. I’ve got a bed.” This time it was Thranduil’s turn to blush “I don’t mean like that, I mean, I’ve got a spare bed. No, no funny business. Just a bed.”

 

“I, I mean, a bed is great and funny business is... I should go home. Can’t drive though. Should call a Taxi. Yeah.” And he stumbled out of the room to do just that.

 

Thranduil laid his head on the table and wished the world would just close around him. He was falling for Bard. Properly, actually, falling for him. He was gorgeous, kind and caring. He was funny and an amazing father who couldn’t help but inspire the people he was around. He even liked archery for crying out loud, and somehow he was still single! Thranduil was even fairly certain he liked men as well, judging by their earlier chat about Pierce Brosnan, so why couldn’t he muster up the courage to ask him out properly?

 

“Taxi’ll be here in ten minutes. Should probably, you know. Drink water. Kids’ll make fun of their Old Man for being hungover.”

 

Thranduil made a vague notion to the sink, his head still resting on the table.

 

“You going to sleep there tonight then?” asked Bard, staring down at him

 

“I’ll move to sofa. Feels better here. Cold surface.”

 

Bard nodded and downed his pint of water in one swift motion. Thranduil watched his throat as he greedily swallowed the water, transfixed by the movement. Bard must have caught him staring because he quickly put the glass down and gave an awkward cough.

 

“Sorry! I wasn’t! I was looking into space and your throat was there! I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, looking.”

 

“Yes you were.” Said Bard teasingly “’s okay. Don’t mind. It’s good. Man like you, wanting to look. Such lovely hair.” He sighed wistfully. A silence dragged between them, as they stared at another across the room. The silence wasn’t as comfortable as it had been before, but was filled with that sense of knowing, that there really was something there that neither of them were quite yet willing to make into anything just yet. Thranduil knew, that if he got up now, if he walked over there and kissed him, that he’d be welcomed with open arms. But he thought better of it. Neither of them was in a fit state to do anything of the sort right now. He didn’t want to ruin what he had with Bard for the sake of a drunken kiss. No matter how good that kiss was.

 

The moment was broken by a ring at the doorbell. “That’ll be the Taxi.” Mumbled Bard, as he stepped towards the exit. “Thank You for the evening, Thranduil.”

 

“Thank you for coming.”

 

Bard smirked at that and reached round the table to give Thranduil a one armed hug. It was the best either of them could give at the moment.

 

 

 


	5. Return of the Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the kids to deal with the fall out of the night before as their Fathers start to act in unusual, though by no means unpleasant, ways. 
> 
> Featuring hangovers, coffee and Thranduil finally taking steps towards not being a Shitty Dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some purely self indulgent "easter eggs" here from various different things. I'll list them in the end notes =)
> 
> I had so much fun writing this chapter, that I really hope you enjoy it as well!!

Sigrid was sitting in the living room, completing her reading for class on Monday, when she heard the jangle of keys at the door. Fíli sat up from next to her and growled slightly. The dogs weren’t used to people coming home this late at night, but Sigrid put a hand on his back and stroked him. “It’s okay Fee, it’s just Da, getting in late from his date. Shall we go and embarrass him?” Fíli gave a yap, which Sigrid took to mean yes and the two went into the hall.

 

“Fucking keys.” a voice mumbled through the door “Don’t want to be keys.”

 

Sigrid tried to suppress a giggle as she knelt down to whisper in Fíli’s ear,

 

“Drunk Da is an amazing Da. You’re in for a treat Fee.”

 

There was a thumping now at the door as Sigrid knew her father was trying to use his strength to open it.

 

One, Two, Three, she mouthed to Fíli and opened the door. Bard was caught off balance and tipped straight onto the carpet.

 

“Where’d door go?” he looked up and saw Fíli’s smiling face bearing down at him. “Fíli? Or is it Kíli? You know you look the same, other than the hair. One of you is brown and one of you is blonde but I don’t know which.” He rolled onto his side and looked up to see Sigrid grinning down at him from above.

 

“And what time do you call this?” she asked him in mock outrage

 

“The time that I meant to get in at. This time. This is the right time. I’m not late. I’m not early. I’m here.” He stabbed at the floor. He gazed up at her “You’re one of mine.” He said thoughtfully “Not a dog. A girl. My girl!” he staggered to his feet “Sigrid!” he opened his arms and hugged her, swaying slightly.

 

“Da, you are drunk!” she giggled

 

“Yes. But in the morning, I will sober, and you” he grabbed her face gently between his large callused hands “You will be as perfect as always” and he laid a sloppy kiss on her forehead “Now. Which way to bed?” he said throwing an arm around her shoulder “Thranduil said that I should stay in his bed. Not his bed bed. His spare bed. No funny business he said.” He wagged his finger at Sigrid “Funny business is not allowed. ‘Specially when drunk.”

 

“Quite right Da.” Sigrid smiled and helped him up the stairs. “Glad to see you had fun.”

 

Bard nodded “Was lots of fun. He’s lots of fun. Shitty dad though.” He yawned “Pretty dad though. Very pretty. Such lovely hair.” He hummed and Sigrid suppressed another giggle

 

“Quiet now Da, don’t wake up Tilly or Bain.”

 

Bard put a finger over his mouth “Shhhhhh” he whispered “Don’t wake the kids.” Sigrid opened the door to his room and shoved him onto his bed, carefully removing his shoes.

 

“You’re a good girl Siggy.” He smiled “Took good care of me. I love you Siggy.” He buried his head in the pillow and Sigrid heard the familiar deep snoring that meant he was out like a light.

 

“Love you too Da” she smiled and carefully shut the door to his room. She sighed and leaned back against it. “Well Fee, operation ‘Get Da A Life’ seems to be going well. Come on Boy. Time for bed.” She picked him up and carried him into her room. Normally they weren’t allowed in, but on special occasions, it was nice to have the company.

 

*

 

Thranduil woke up to Tauriel licking his face and whining. He had a disorientating moment when he didn’t realise where he was, until he noticed the pain in his neck and back, which indicated he’d fallen asleep on the sofa. He groaned and turned over,

 

“It’s too early Tauriel. Go back to sleep.” His head was pounding and all he wanted to do was sleep until the end of recorded time.

 

The dog barked and ran off, only to come back with her bowl. She placed it on his stomach and barked again. He groaned.

 

“I thought you were meant to be intelligent. Can’t you feed yourself yet?” Tauriel grabbed his jumper at this and tugged on it, growling slightly.

 

“Okay. Okay. I’m getting  up, I’m getting up.” It took him a few moments to lift himself off the sofa, and in the end it was more of a fall than anything else. Still, at least he was now upright. He staggered into the kitchen, flicked the coffee maker into life and opened up the cupboard to retrieve the dog food, Tauriel leaping about around him excitedly.

 

“There you go girl.” He gave her an awkward pat as he sunk onto a stool at the table, still littered with empty wine bottles and glasses. “Urgh, remind me never to drink this much again, Tauriel. It’s very unbecoming of me.”

 

She didn’t respond though, too busy licking her bowl clean. Thranduil let out another moan and laid his head down upon the cold surface of the table. What had even happened last night? He racked his brain but could only remember snippets. They’d talked. About everything and nothing. The more they drank, the more serious the conversation had got. He narrowed his eyes, trying to remember it. Kendra and Elenath. They’d spoken about Kendra and Elenath… and how Thranduil was a shitty dad. He looked down and saw a note written on the table in a messy hand. He peered down at it, trying to make out what it said.

 

“Call Legolas. Explain you’re shitty Dad. Elenath’s stuff. Hug Tauriel.” And another that had been crossed out several times. He picked it up and glared at the paper “Kiss Bard.” He laughed and his own drunken confessions. There’d been a moment though. There’d been a point where they could have. He picked up his phone from where he’d left it the night before, and copied the list onto it. He seemed to have ten missed calls from work, and a text from Gandalf. The time said that it was half two in the afternoon. “No wonder you were hungry Tauriel.” He murmured.

 

He decided to ignore the list of missed calls, technically people weren’t meant to work on Sundays, and for once, he’d keep to that tradition. They’d be able to cope without him for one day. Instead he looked at the text from Gandalf. It Read:

 

I assume Tauriel will not be joining us today. I hope you recover from your hangover. Give our love to Tauriel, and say Hello to Bard for us.

 

Thranduil groaned and knocked his head against the desk. How had they known? How did Gandalf seem to know everything? Plus Bard wasn’t even here. He distinctly remembered shoving a bunch of tenners into his hand to pay for the taxi. Of course that didn’t change the fact that Gandalf knew they had been together. Had Bard told them? And how had he known they’d be spending the evening together getting drunk?

 

“You haven’t got one of those collars with the spy-cams in them, have you Tauriel?”

 

The dog just blinked up at him innocently. Thranduil shook his head, Gandalf was clearly a Wizard. It was the only explanation. “Come here girl”, he smiled and Tauriel ran over and put her paws up on his chair, tail wagging. “Time to make a start on that list.” And gave her a hug.

 

*

 

Bard groaned as he woke up. Oh Valar. He put a hand to his head. He hadn’t felt this bad since Uncle Jim’s wedding- a sight Kendra claimed had scarred her for life. He rolled over, and saw a glass of water sitting on the side table, a note reading “Coffee downstairs xXx” sitting next to it. He obediently downed the glass and proceeded to attempt to climb out of bed. He was still in the clothes he’d worn the night before, but he noticed someone had removed his shoes. He didn’t bother getting changed, just threw his dressing gown over the top and staggered out the door and down the stairs.

 

“Morning Bright Eyes!” grinned Sigrid when he entered the kitchen.

 

“Coffee. Please. Coffee.” He moaned “I’ll love you forever if you make me coffee.”

 

“You already love me forever. I’m your daughter.” She smirked, flicking on the kettle all the same. She also went about frying some bacon, which just proved that he really did have the best daughter in the world.

 

“I’ll give you twenty quid then. That’s basically the same thing.”

 

“Or save your money and give me driving lessons.” She said hopefully.

 

“I’m not that hungover.”

 

She shrugged “Worth a try though. Make it thirty and I’ll actually give you this bacon.” The smell had already bought Bain and Tilda into the kitchen.

 

“Da! Da! Da!” Tilda cried, jumping up and down “How’s Tauriel? How’s Fran-Do-All?”

 

“Shhh Tilda.” Whispered Sigrid. “Da’s not very well.”

 

“Oh no! Did Fran-Do-All make you sick?”

 

Bain sniggered “Something like that Tilda.” He said, far too loudly for Bard’s pounding head “Though I think Da has some of the responsibility on this. Hey, Sigrid, can us non-‘sick’ people get some bacon as well?”

 

“Da’s giving me thirty quid for this coffee and bacon. What can you offer me?”

 

Bain threw her a dirty look. Tilda piped up though

 

“I’ve got twenty pence!” and she ran off to her piggy bank

 

Sigrid gave Bain an expectant look

 

“I’ll let you pick what we watch tonight?”

 

Sigrid shook her head. “Not good enough little bro, try again.”

 

He rolled his eyes “Please may I have some bacon, oh Sigrid The Magnificent.”

 

“That’s better.” She nodded and slipped some bacon into a breaded roll and handed it to him. “See, a little kindness goes a long way.”

 

“Can you all just stop talking, and give an old man a break?” Bard groaned round a mouthful of Bacon.

 

“No.” they said in unison, identical grins plastered across their faces

 

“You’re lucky I love you.” He grumbled downing the rest of his coffee.

 

“I love you too Da” she grinned, giving her father a hug, Tilda leapt back into the room and jumped straight into the hug as well.

 

“Come on Bain, group hug”

 

Bain rolled his eyes but joined in none the less

 

“You can go off some people you know.” Laughed Bard, freeing his arms so as to hold his brood closer to him.

 

*

 

Thranduil spent a good part of the day sitting and staring at the box on the coffee table containing all that remained of Elenath’s possessions. Her clothes had been donated to charity shops long ago, only the ratty-old fleece she wore when training and her walking boots remained, simply due to the fact that Legolas had insisted they stay. Thranduil remembered how the boy had barely been parted from the fleece for the first six months. The memory of the gangly teenager wearing a fleece, too big around the waist but too short on the arms, bought a sad smile to Thranduil’s face.

 

He looked over at Tauriel, who was lying next to him with her head in his lap, and said

 

“I guess this is as good a time as any.” He took a deep breath, hands shaking slightly, and cut open the parcel tape that bound it shut. The objects in there had been all been carefully wrapped in tissue paper and bubble wrap, but had still been thrown into the box with apparent small regard.

 

Thranduil remembered the day quite clearly. He’d spent the longest time wrapping and rewrapping her trophies, knickknacks and photos. In the end, once he couldn’t stand to look at them anymore for fear his heart would break into even smaller pieces, he’d just thrown them into the box and hastily taped it shut.

 

For how could this be all that remained of her, how could a mere photo capture her smile and the way her eyes changed their colour depending on what the light was doing? How could a certificate represent how her easy going nature disguised a ferocious attitude to defeating her opponents, or how hard she worked for all her achievements? He hid them instead, thinking it best to forget her all together, rather than give himself a pale imitation of her. He knew now that that had been a mistake, but he wasn’t exactly able to go back and change that now.

 

He began unwrapping each package, carefully peeling off the yellowed sticky tape and placing the wrapping in a neat pile. He thought the process would make him cry. He thought he’d be a shaking mess of tears, however, whilst a deep sorrow stayed in his heart, it came more out of regret for his foolishness in dealing with the situation, rather than the memory of his wife.

 

He laughed as he discovered the little china dogs he’d bought her when they were first dating. She’d pretended to love them despite the fact their delicate faces and fake expressions represented the very people she disliked the most in the training world. She’d kept them though, displaying them on the mantelpiece and calling them “Those Damn Dogs.” He found the hand carved willow hairbrush she used everyday, and her dog eared copy of ‘The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe’.

 

“It’s the kind of book you can come home to.” She’d say “It reminds you of what it was like to be a child, discovering things for the first time and remembering the importance of family. It’s witches, and fauns, and talking beavers that think of sewing machines as essential. It’s magic and hope. It’s home.” Thranduil fondly stroked the cover of the book and opened the first page to see where her nine year old self had written her name on the inside page in pencil. He put it down on the coffee table and unwrapped what looked like a silver gilt photo frame.

 

It was one of the ones from their wedding. Elenath looking radiant with a silver, circular tiara nestled amongst her golden hair. They were smiling and laughing in the photo, and Thranduil remembered how she would always give the loudest snort when she laughed the hardest. It went totally against the graceful image people had of her and he loved her all the more for it.

 

He found several other photos nestled in the box. Some of her holding various trophies with one of her dogs sitting next to her. Some of the whole family, laughing at a joke long forgotten. One of them was of her and Thranduil holding a three hour old Legolas, with Thranduil looking completely in awe of the bundle in his arms.

 

The box was filled with trophies and awards she’d won, but at the bottom he’d found the one she’d cherished the most. It wasn’t nearly as fancy as the others, and wasn’t even the most prestigious, but it was the one she always put on proud display at the front. It was a basic metal plate, polished to look like silver, with “Hampshire County Under 16 Third Runner Up Prize/ Dog Agility / 1982” inscribed on it. He laughed and put it up on the mantelpiece, along with the photographs of them as a family, and of her as a young girl surrounded by puppies.

 

He picked up the photo of them on their wedding day and her beloved book and took them upstairs where he laid them on the table next to her side of the bed. He still called it that, still slept on the right side and barely strayed to the left when he slept. He gazed at them for a moment. Tauriel had followed him upstairs and was snuffling at his hand. He tapped his phone nervously, and brought up his son’s number.

 

There was no response. Maybe he was in a lecture? Maybe he was out jogging, or spending some time with Gimli? Perhaps it was best not to call him at all. He didn’t really need to. But Thranduil found that he missed the boy. Tauriel nudged his hand as though telling him to dial again, which he did.

 

“Hello, this is the voicemail of Legolas Greenleaf. If you wish me to call you back, then leave a message after the tone.”

 

“Hello Legolas, it’s your father calling. Just wondered how you were, as I’ve been sorting through some of your mother’s old things. I won’t disturb you though, but if you could please call me back at some point then that would be greatly appreciated. I love you. Goodbye.”

 

Thranduil sunk down onto the bed and stared down at the Belgian Shepherd. “Too much?” He asked her, but she just wagged her tail and ran off downstairs again. “I’ll take that as a yes then, you silly old fool.” He looked at Elenath’s photo and sighed “What’s become of your husband Elen?” He reached out and picked up the copy of ‘The Lion, The Witch, and the wardrobe’ and began to read.

 

 

*

 

Legolas had been in the library when his phone had gone off, ‘The Sugar Plum Fairy’ ringing out across the room. Legolas gave out an exasperated sigh, it was meant to play the theme from Prince of Thieves, but obviously at some point Gimli had gotten a hold of his phone and changed it, the bastard. Trying to avoid the glares from his peers, he hung up without checking the name, and promptly turned his phone off. It was probably Gimli, trying to embarrass him. He’d have to get his own back at some point, perhaps make his ringtone Whistle While You Work? Or maybe something by Celine Dion?

 

As such, he didn’t think to check his voicemail until he got home. He was surprised, and a little worried, to discover it was from his father, and even more concerned at what he was saying? His father hadn’t spoken to him about his mother in almost three years, and the closest he’d ever heard “I love you” from him was “Best Wishes”. Was he drunk? Was he dying? Was Tauriel dying?

 

In a panic, he dialled home.

 

“Come on Father. Come on, pick up already.” He jogged his leg up and down as he sat on the sofa. Father didn’t leave it this long to answer a call normally, especially if he’d been the one to call in the first place. Valar! What if he really had died? Or had been taken into hospital? For once his primary concern was over his father’s well being, and not his dog’s.

 

“Legolas! Hello, how are you? Thank you for returning my call.”

 

“Father! Are you ok?  What’s wrong? Has anything happened to Tauriel? You sounded...odd…over the phone. Has anything happened I should know about?”

 

“Oh nothing in particular, sorry I didn't answer straight away, I was reading in the other room and didn’t hear my phone go off. No need to be concerned. Tauriel is doing splendidly. Dr Evenstar says that next week she should be able to tell how many pups she’s expecting.”

 

“You were reading, and away from your phone?”

 

“Yes. I found your mother’s copy of Narnia, and thought I’d give it a read. I forgot how good it was, and your mother’s commentary is quite amusing!”

 

“I- are you sure you’re okay? I thought you put all her possessions in the loft?”

 

“Well I got them out again. It’s a shame not to have them out on display, it feels a lot more like home again. I even found some of your old baby photos! You do look adorable in them, Legolas.”

 

“I- adorable? Really?”

 

His father chuckled, he actually chuckled! Legolas hadn’t heard him do that in years, not a genuine one at least. Dark chuckles to scare interns, or at vaguely amusing comments to appease future clients, but a genuine ‘That-Was-Amusing’ chuckle, that was almost unheard of these days.

 

“Really, Son. I know parents are sentimental about these things, but your blonde hair and big blue eyes are the definition of adorable, especially when you’re surrounded by puppies. I’ll be hoping to get a repeat photo of it, now that Tauriel is expecting. We can put them side by side in one of those joint photo frames I’ve seen advertised.”

 

Legolas just gaped at that, with no idea how to respond

 

“Father, are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“I truly am Son. Better than I’ve been in years. It’s good to have the house back to looking like it used to. I’ve made so many mistakes over the past few years, I’m sorry for not being a better father, Legolas. I promise to try and do better by you.”

 

Legolas really didn’t know what to say to that. His father had always been so closed off emotionally. Even as a child, he’d felt so distant and disconnected to him, having been far closer to his mother than he’d ever been to his father. So this sudden change of heart, felt simply ludicrous.

 

“Father, are you drunk?”

 

“No, no, no! Not anymore.”

 

“Not anymore?”

 

“I may have had a bit too much to drink last night with Bard, he’s the owner of Kíli, you remember him? The father of Tauriel’s puppies. He’s a rather sweet dog, once you get to know him.”

 

“And you and Mr Bard”

 

“Just Bard. Mr Bowman doesn’t like being called by his surname, so it’s just Bard.”

 

“O-kaaaay. You and, Bard,” he said the name carefully, uncertain if this was all a joke- his father never called anyone by their first name unless he’d known them for at least a year- let alone drink with them! “went out drinking last night?”

 

“Oh no. We’re a little too old for that kind of thing, no. He came to the house to spend the evening, and we got chatting. We both drank a little too much, to be honest.” He laughed again

 

“Right… and?”

 

“And that was it, I assure you Legolas. We just talked about our lives. Bard’s wife passed away a few years ago as well, and he gave me some rather good advice, so I’m trying to follow through on it- as you can perhaps tell.”

 

“You’re, you’re listening to someone’s advice? About Mum and me?”

 

“Yes. He’s a good man, Legolas. He went through a lot when Kendra died. Left his three children motherless and with less money coming in on top of all the grief the four of them we're going through. They’ve all coped so well with it all though, Legolas. His children are truly wonderful people, I’m sure you’d get along.”

 

“You’ve. Wait- you’ve met his family?”

 

“Well of course. I needed to know about Kíli’s genetic history.”

 

“And you didn’t think to do this over the phone?”

 

“Well, that just felt so impersonal.”

 

“You were worried about it being impersonal?”

 

“Yes. Our dogs are expecting puppies, it wouldn’t do to behave unkindly towards them.”

 

“Right…”

 

“You still haven’t told me about you, Legolas! How are you?”

 

“Well, my coursework is due in next week, though I hope to have it completed tomorrow. My archery skills are slowly improving and we’ve got a competition next month.”

 

“What about you though, son, how are you?”

 

That threw Legolas for six.

 

“How am I?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m, fine. Nothing to report…”

 

“How is that Gimli man you’re seeing? Is everything going well with him?”

 

“I- wait- you want to know about Gimli and me?”

 

“Well, I don’t want to know the gory details, Son! But are you two happy together? Is there anything you want to talk about?”

 

“Things are- things are going great Father.” He smiled “Really, really great.” His smile widened “We’re having a movie marathon tomorrow night with some of his cousins who’ve come over for the weekend.”

 

“Wonderful! What are you planning on watching?”

 

“Well, they’re all into adventure movies, so probably Marvel? I’m not certain though. The plans keep changing, apparently Kelly and Felicity can’t agree on anything, and Ori’s just saying he’ll go for whatever they want to do. Which isn’t very helpful.”

 

“Have you met his family before?”

 

Legolas coughed “Erm, I’ve met his mother and father when they came up for a visit last month but apart from that-”

 

“That’s lovely Legolas. I see things really are getting serious between you two. You must bring him down at some point so as I can meet him. Let me know when you’re next free and we can arrange something. Tauriel’s due next month, so if you can arrange it, you can both be there for the birth.”

 

“I guess that’d be good.”

 

“You can see Bard and his family then, as well. I’m certain you and Tilda will get on splendidly.”

 

“Right…okay.”

 

“Anyway, I’ll let you go now. You’ve been listening to me prattle on for long enough now, no doubt. Goodnight Legolas.”

 

“Goodnight Father…”

 

He stared at his phone after it disconnected. Gimli came over then and plonked down next to him on the sofa.

 

“What’s ya dad want?”

 

“He’s been putting up Mum’s photos and reading her favourite book.”

 

“That’s sweet. I thought you said he didn’t care about her anymore?”

 

“I guess I was wrong?”

 

“You’re always wrong.”

 

Legolas raised an eyebrow at that

 

“I’m only speaking the truth, Las.” Gimli said, giving him a little shove, in full knowledge of how much Legolas hated that nickname.

 

“He did though. This is the first time I’ve heard him speak about Mum in years.”

 

“Well, so he’s had a change of heart? What’s wrong with that. It’s about bloody time as well. You can’t just try and pretend someone never existed. It’s not the way to be.” He smiled and reached out to give Legolas’ hand a squeeze. Legolas stared down at his beloved and felt his heart swell. Gimli wasn’t remotely his type, he’d never liked short guys, and hated beard burn with a passion. He deemed good manners and etiquette the height of importance in a person.

 

Gimli was none of these things. At 5 foot he was definitely the shortest guy Legolas had ever dated, and he seemed positively covered in masses of ginger hair. His manners were terrible and he had such a bad mouth on him, but Legolas couldn’t get enough of the boy. He was kind and funny. He worked so hard at everything he did, and had already secured a job at a top engineering firm for when he left Uni. Legolas wouldn’t change a thing about him. He was utterly, totally and deeply in love. He smiled

 

“I think Father’s got a boyfriend, you know.”

 

Gimli chewed that over for a moment “Would explain the change of heart. Didn’t know ya dad was Bi.”

 

“Nor did I. But I think he must be.”

 

Gimli shrugged. “They say these things run in families. Kelly and Fliss are both queer as fuck.”

 

Legolas laughed at that “He wants to meet you, you know.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Father.”

 

“No bloody way?”

 

“Yes bloody way.”

 

“He must be more fucked in the head than I thought…”

 

“How’s next month sound for visiting?”

 

“Terrifying.”

 

“Good.” And he bent down to capture his boyfriend’s mouth in a kiss.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hope you enjoyed this chapter, I love writing Drunk Characters (which is odd considering I've never been drunk myself but there you go) and Bard was no exception!
> 
> In terms of "Easter Eggs"
> 
> \- Bard paraphrases Churchill in his "In the morning I will be sober" line, although Churchill ended his with "and you will still be ugly", charming man that Churchill.
> 
> \- "Morning Bright Eyes!" is something Carolyn says to Martin in Cabin Pressure when he comes in half-asleep (though not hungover it should be said) - of course this references other things, but for me, this was pure Cabin Pressure =)
> 
> \- "You can go off some people you know" is something my Mum says to me on a semi-regular basis. This is mainly because my sense of humour involves excessive teasing of others. I'm working on it. 
> 
> \- CS Lewis wrote "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" and was close friends with Tolkien, indeed - they both feature in each other's books, Tolkien as the professor the children go to live with; and Lewis as Tree Beard. Take from that what you will.
> 
> \- In Fayjay's beautiful and amazing merthur fanfic "The Student Prince", Arthur and Merlin have a regular battle over the music played when their alarms go off in the morning. It struck me as something Gimli and Legolas would also do =) Whether this means Legolas/Gimli have also read Student Prince, I'll let your decide =)
> 
> -The Prince of Thieves is one of the more well known Robin Hood adaptions. It felt appropriate to me that Legolas would want to associate with a world famous archer of legend who goes on epic adventures to dramatic music.
> 
> -Whistle While You Work, is, of course, the song sung by the dwarves in Snow White. It amuses me greatly to imagine the company sining this. Especially with Thorin as Doc. 
> 
> \- Yes, Kelly and Felicity are Kíli and Fíli - though as I already made them into male dogs, it felt appropriate that they be female and not share the same names as them. Those who've read the tags may already know that Felicity will be making an appearance in future chapters.


	6. About Bloody Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, they're mature men in their 40s. One of them was bound to stop behaving like a love sick teen and ask the other out eventually. 
> 
> Everyone is quite relieved when they finally do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing particular to say about this chapter, other than I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I'm going to put some head canon-y stuff at the bottom which I haven't been able to work in yet, but might help in clearing one or two things up in general =)
> 
> Any questions you have, fire away, I'm done for the academic year now, after all =)

Time soon came for Tauriel’s mid way check up. She was really starting to show now, her belly swelling with the pups. She was still as kind and obedient as ever though, staying perfectly still whilst Dr. Evenstar felt along her stomach.

 

“I cannot be certain, but I’d estimate 3 or 4 pups in there. It’s her first litter and she’s not a particularly large breed, even if she’s got a good 20cm on her mate.”

 

“4 puppies is a perfectly acceptable amount, thank you Dr. Evenstar.” nodded Thranduil

 

“Aye, more than we were expecting but it’s good to know this isn’t going to end up with a-hundred-and-one of the things.”

 

Thranduil smirked “I did not take you for a Dodie Smith fan.”

 

“I’ve two daughters, both obsessed with dogs. I’ve seen that film so many times I could probably re-enact it if given the chance. I’m just glad Sigrid’s the one who reads the book to Tilda, otherwise I’d probably go and make myself a fur coat out of puppies!”

 

Tauriel growled menacingly

 

“Don’t listen to him Tauriel, I would never let him do such a thing to your children.” Smiled Thranduil, fondly.

 

“Have you decided what you’re going to do with the puppies yet?” Asked Arwen

 

“I have promised Bard an equal share in the puppies, as to what I do with my half, I’m going to leave that up to my son. He is wiser in these matters than I am. I suspect he’ll find good homes for them amongst his mothers’ friends though.”

 

“You’re not going to keep one of them?” asked Bard, frowning “You’ve got the space, after all.”

 

“But I do not have the time. I already leave Tauriel here, most days. Can you imagine what I’d be like caring for a puppy? Even if it was with its mother, it would still need training and regular feeding and it would be far more demanding in its attentions. No. I think it would be best for them to go to a new owner. But, by all means, keep your two. I’m sure Tilda and Bain will be able to look after them well enough, and you can leave them here when you’re at work, can’t he?” said Thranduil, directing the last remark at Arwen.

 

“Gandalf has already told me that we’re to put space aside for any of Tauriel and Kíli’s children. He says their fees will be paid for, in tribute to all your family have done for us over the years.”

 

Bard smiled softly “That’s very kind of you all, Dr Evenstar, but I still don’t know. It’s not just the cost of keeping them here, or keeping them busy, it’s the sheer amount of money needed for feeding them, and buying them bedding and toys. Plus there’s the space! Our house is barely big enough for the 6 of us, I can’t imagine what we’d do with two new puppies, which are likely to grow a lot bigger than our current lads.” Bard gave a long sigh “I know the kids want to keep them, but I don’t really see how we’ll be able to do so…”

 

“Well. You’ve still got time to think it through. She’s not due for another three weeks, and they’ll need to be fully weaned before they go to any new homes. But give it some thought. I can always put you in contact of those looking for a new dog. For now, just book an appointment for three days time, I want to see her more frequently now she’s heading towards the final stages.”

 

Thranduil thanked Arwen, and Bard lifted Tauriel onto the floor. She was really starting to feel like one of the family. He’d come to pick up the boys and she’d be there playing with them or sitting down watching the pair, a soppy expression on her face. She always barked a greeting at him and nuzzled into the crook of his arm when he knelt down to give her a proper cuddle.

 

It would be weird not seeing her again after this. Well. He supposed he’d see her sometimes when he came to pick up the boys, but he’d grown accustomed to spending this amount of time with her, taking her to the vets or seeing her whenever he visited Thranduil. Although, if he really wanted to admit it, it would be Thranduil he’d miss the most. He’d never even seen the man before all this had started, and now he couldn’t think of another person he’d want to spend this amount of time with.

 

He’d miss their arguments over politics and movies, their talks about being a single dad and the trials and tribulations that caused. He’d miss the way Thranduil would play it cool all the time, act like the king on his mighty throne, but could be brought down with a single look or gentle jape.

 

They'd been dancing around one another ever since their first evening together, and hence had been in regular communication, texting one another at work, spending their evenings chatting over the phone with the pretense of talking about Tauriel and the puppies. They'd even finally managed to watch some of those James Bond movies together, both agreeing that the classic ones of their youth were the best- true, they were ridiculous and sexist, but there was something about the imaginative adventure and excitement of them. There was also probably a large amount of nostalgia involved.

 

Neither of them had spoken about what had been passing between them, fearful of what might happen it turned out the other didn't feel the same. It had been merely two months, yet Bard felt he knew Thranduil better than half his work colleagues, but he still wanted to know more. He wanted to see what he was like first thing in the in the morning, or whether he liked to sleep spread out on his back or on his side curled up into a little ball. He wanted to know what it would feel like to fall asleep on the sofa together in front of a crappy movie. He wondered what it would be like to kiss him…

 

 _Oh snap out of it Bowman!_ He told himself. _You’re sounding like a character in a romance novel! Just ask him out. If he says no, he says no and in a couple of weeks you won’t ever have to see him again._

 

“Bard, are you alright?” Asked Arwen, concern in her voice

 

“Hmm? Yes. I’m fine.” He took a deep breath and turned to face Thranduil. “Thranduil, I was wondering if you’d care to go out to dinner with me. On a date.”

 

Thranduil was taken aback for a moment. He’d certainly hoped this would happen, but it still came as quite the pleasant surprise. His silence was clearly taken the wrong way as Bard began to double back on himself.

 

“Don’t worry about it. It was just a suggestion, I thought you might be interested and you’re not. That’s okay.”

 

“No.” said Thranduil, calmly, “No, I am interested, as you put it. Where were you thinking of going?”

 

A grin spread across Bard’s face now “Vegetarian food sound good to you?”

 

Thranduil raised an eyebrow “I did not take you for someone who willingly ate vegetarian food.”

 

Bard gave out a chuckle “There are many things you don’t know about me, Thranduil. I think that’s why people go on dates. How’s next Saturday for you, say 6pm at Oakleaves? It’s just passed the high-street down by the college. They do Italian, Asian, there’ll be something you’ll like.”

 

“Sounds good. Miss Eowyn has already dropped several hints about her Out-of-Hours Dog Sitting services, so I’m sure Tauriel will be fine. More importantly though, will there be wine?”

 

“Oh yes. I couldn’t take you somewhere where they didn’t serve wine. It’d be a disgrace.”

 

“Indeed it would be. Well then. I see no reason to decline your offer. Next Saturday it is. I’ll meet you there.”

 

“Great. Until then.” Bard dithered slightly, not sure what he should do next. Should he just turn and leave, should he kiss Thranduil on the cheek, should he… his phone began to vibrate then, saved by the bell, he thought and dived into his pocket. It was Alfrid, so maybe saved was the wrong word “Sorry. Got to take this,” he muttered and waved goodbye to them all and hurried out the door.

 

Arwen spoke then, taking Thranduil somewhat by surprise – he’d almost forgotten she was still in the room  “I know it’s none of my business, Mr Greenleaf, but weren’t you telling me earlier that your son was coming down for the weekend on Friday?”

 

“Damn.”

 

*

 

Bollocks.

 

“No Alfrid. No I’ve told you before, I cannot work on Saturdays, no matter the time. Find someone else to cover the evening delivery.”

 

“Can’t do that I’m afraid,” replied the slimy voice “The Boss has put me in charge or this operation, and it’s my duty to make sure everyone does their even share of the work.”

 

“If you’re so concerned about doing an even share, why don’t you do it then?”

 

“How am I meant to manage this business if I’m constantly driving everywhere? I do my job Bowman, and I do it well. If you still want to keep yours, then you’ll do as you’re told.”

 

Bard took a couple of deep breaths, in and out, in and out. “What if I can find someone else to do the delivery, will that suit you?”

 

“Now that strictly wouldn’t be fair on the other employees, would it? Getting them to do your job for you? You’d rather take away their weekends if it meant sparing yours?”

 

“Alfrid, let me deal with the fall out. People need work, people have bills to pay, family to be with. I’ll sort something out, make sure people get the right hours, and you’ll still get your delivery done on time by someone who wants to be there, not someone who doesn’t.”

 

Alfrid tutted down the phone “Masterson won’t like it Bowman, but just this once, I’ll make the exception. If you can find someone to take the job on that is.”

 

“I’ll find someone. Thank you Alfrid. You’re a good man.”

 

“Yeah Yeah, Bowman. See on Monday.”

 

*

 

How could he have forgotten that Legolas was coming down on Friday? He wasn’t due to go back until Sunday evening… he couldn’t cancel on his own son! He’d been so looking forward to seeing him again, and proving that he could change. That Bard had helped him change and see the error of his ways, but now he’d ruined it all by double booking himself all so he could go on a bloody date of all things.

 

Thoughts ran through his head all the way back home. Should he call Bard and try and re-arrange? But then what if he thought he was trying to back out, maybe Bard would rethink his choice and decide that he didn’t want to go out in the first place… perhaps, then, he should call Legolas and ask him to come round another weekend and simply tell him the truth. But then he’d look like he didn’t care anymore, that he didn’t want to spend time with his son and his boyfriend, putting his own needs above those of his son.

 

He sat in his armchair (a work of chrome and black leather) and pondered his options. A little while later, a rather plump Tauriel came over to him, carrying his phone in her mouth. She dropped it into his lap and gave out a bark.

 

Thranduil looked down at it, and cautiously wiped the screen with his handkerchief. He’d recently changed his background to the picture of Legolas and him, from when the boy was only seven, and the pair would regularly go out to the woods to feed the squirrels and the ducks. Thranduil looked at the picture, then looked back at Tauriel. She wagged her tail and let out a woof, nosing at the phone.

 

Thranduil gave out a dramatic sigh “Impending Motherhood has made you a lot pushier than you used to be.” Tauriel’s ears drooped a bit at that “But all the more wiser, Girl.” The Belgian Shepherd perked up again and she wagged her tail furiously as Thranduil stroked her along her back. It was best to be open and honest. He still wanted to see his son, but he also really wanted things to work out with Bard…

 

“Hello Father, is everything alright?”

 

“Good Afternoon Legolas, I hope I wasn’t disturbing you.”

 

“No, no. Gimli and I were just about to make some lunch, but it can wait. How can I help you? Are you still okay with us coming down on Friday? It’s not too late to cancel the train tickets if you’re not comfortable with-”

 

“No Son. No. I am greatly looking forward to seeing you, and am eager to meet Gimli properly. However, I do appear to have somewhat double booked myself…”

 

“You’ve double booked yourself?” Legolas frowned “How do you mean? Do you have a meeting that day, you’re usually so organised Father.” He paused his tone becoming terser “If this is you trying to back out of meeting Gimli then I have to say it is a cruel and unimaginati-“

 

“No Son, no. Nothing of the sort, it is a genuine accident. It’s nothing to do with business, I assure you.” He gave a deep breath “You remember how I told you Bard and I had been spending a lot of time together of late.”

 

“Yes…” said Legolas, cautiously, wondering just how far this was going to go. He’d assumed the two of them were dating, but had things gotten a lot more serious over the last month? He wasn’t about to find out his father was engaged, was he? He could handle his father dating people, he wasn’t sure he could handle him being engaged to someone Legolas had never even met!

 

“Well, Bard has asked me out on a date, and, well. I was so eager to say yes that it completely slipped my mind that you were coming. I do apologise Legolas I really do. I can always cancel with Bard, but I was hoping that you wouldn’t mind if I abandoned you for the evening on Saturday? I’ve made sure I’m free for all of Friday and Sunday, and it would just be the evening.”

 

“Wait, hold on. You’ve only just agreed to go on a date with him? This will be your first date?”

 

“I, yes. Is this an issue?”

 

Legolas laughed down the phone, and Thranduil thought he heard a deep guffaw that he assumed was Gimli.

 

“I don’t understand what you find so funny. You must have guessed by now that I’m bisexual, and middle aged men can go on first dates as well, young people don’t have a monopoly on such-"

 

“No Father. No.” Said Legolas, getting his breathing under control “it’s just that Gimli and I have been under the assumption that the two of you have been dating for over a month now. You mention him every time you call, you’ve been spending so much time together, we assumed you’d be introducing us to your boyfriend, just as I am introducing you to mine.”

 

“Oh.” Replied Thranduil, rather sheepishly

 

“Goodness me Father, I think my coming down this weekend is a blessing. I sense you’ll be in need of plenty of advice.”

 

“Legolas, really, I’m 48 years old, I assure you, I am perfectly capable of looking after myself.”

 

“Father. It has taken the both of you almost two months of speaking to each other everyday to even agree to go on one date. I sense you’ll be needing my advice come The Big Day.”

 

“Aye! And I can then give him some advice on dating proper guys, and not delicate little elves.” Said a voice in the background, Thranduil thought he heard the tell-tale ‘Umph’! That meant the owner of the voice had been hit with a pillow.

 

“You really don’t mind missing saturday evening together?”

 

“No Father. I really do not mind. It’ll give me a chance to spend some quality time with Tauriel, if nothing else.”

 

“Well if you’re sure… you can always change your mind you know…”

 

“I’m sure.”

 

“I’ll let you get back to your lunch then. Send my regards to Gimli.”

 

“I will Father. Thank you for calling. Goodbye.”

 

“Goodbye.”

 

Thranduil disconnected the call and stared down at Tauriel again. “Well, Tauriel. Looks like I’ve no excuses now.” He smiled to himself. He was actually going on a date with Bard Bowman. Fierce, witty, kind and unbelievably attractive Bard Bowman. What on Earth had he done to deserve such a person?

 

He looked over at the photo of Elenath on the mantelpiece, “This isn’t anything to do with you, is it?” He asked out loud. There was no response except for the tingling of the wind chimes outside the kitchen window. “I thought as much.” He smiled and gently stroked Tauriel's head in his lap.

 

*

 

“Madge, how are you this fine morning?” asked Bard, the next day at work, turning on the charm as much as he could

 

“What do you want Bowman?” Said the driver, hands on her hips.

 

“How do you know I want anything at all?”

 

“You’re doing your charming, ‘I need a favour’ voice. I’ve known you too long Bard.” She said wagging a finger at him.

 

“Okay, you got me, I need you to swap shifts with me on Saturday evening.”

 

“Saturday? No way Bard, you know how I feel about working weekends. Anyway, you never work saturdays, why do you even have that shift?”

 

“Alfrid.” He replied simply

 

“Prick. Doesn’t he know some of us want to have lives away from this place?”

 

“Apparently not, which is why I need your help, Madge. If you do this shift, I’ll do the late one on Thursday, you can go to Ben’s School Play then, and you won’t need a babysitter to pick him up after.”

 

“I’m listening.” She said raising an eyebrow

 

“Oh go on Madge, it’s only a couple of hours.”

 

“Aye, time I could be using spending with my family.” But she was warming to the idea, he could tell. “Why are you so keen to get out of it? I thought you were always looking for extra money?”

 

“Yes, well, on a normal day, I might take him up on the offer, but. Well. I’m busy Saturday.” He could feel a blush forming, which he tried to hide behind his hand but not quick enough.

 

“Oh my! Could this really be? Does our Bard have a prior engagement with another person? Could this, other person, possibly be that Thranduil man you’ve been talking about for the last three weeks?”

 

“It may indeed be.”

 

“It is! Bard you sly dog! You’ve got an actual date? A real, proper date?”

 

“Yes it’s an actual proper date. Dinner and everything.”

 

“And everything aye?” She winked climbing into the driver's’ seat of the van.

 

“Oh don’t be so crude, are you going to help me or not?”

 

“If it means you getting out the house and going on a date, I’d work every day for a month.”

 

“Probably best not to tell Alfrid that, he’ll be setting me up otherwise.”

 

Madge blanched at that, “Now there’s a horrible thought. Now get in Bowman, somebody is in desperate need of their 500 bottles of fish paste.”

 

Bard laughed as he chucked the last box into the back of the van and jumped into the passenger seat “You’re a saint, Madge.” He grinned pecking her on the cheek

 

“Alright Bowman, all right, save all that for your Gentleman Friend.” she winked.

 

*

 

“Oh thank goodness you’ve finally asked him out!” Sighed Sigrid leaning back into the sofa that evening after Tilda had gone to bed and Bain had been banished to his room to finish his homework. “I was starting to get desperate.”

 

“You were starting to get desperate?”

 

“Yes! I was genuinely considering just locking you in a room together until you sorted it all out.”

 

“Of course you were.” Said Bard raising an eyebrow “What does it matter to you anyway, who I do or do not date?”

 

Sigrid gave him a patronising look, she was doing that a lot lately. It had to be a side effect of becoming a legal adult.

 

“It matters to me, Da, because it should matter to you. You’ve been so much happier since you met Thranduil. You smile and you laugh so much more, and you’re spend time with actual proper adults outside of work” Bard was about to protest when “and no Da, the parents you talk to whilst waiting for Tilda don’t count if you don’t talk to them away from Rainbows.”

 

“I was already happy with Thranduil without it being, romantic you know.”

 

“Oh come on Da. It’s been so obvious that you wanted it to be romantic. It’s been 3 years since Ma, don’t you think it’s time you found someone again?”

 

“Nobody could replace your Ma, Sigrid, you know that…”

 

Sigrid took his hand in hers and smiled “I know, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have room in your heart for another.”

 

“What did I do to deserve such a wonderful and supportive daughter?”

 

“I don’t know, probably the same thing I did to get such a courageous and foolhardy father.” She grinned and Bard pulled her into a big bear hug.

 

“So does this mean I can have Fliss round whilst you’re on your Date?” she grinned, maintaining the hug

 

“In your dreams.”

 

“Oh Come on Da!” She said, pulling back “It’s not like we’ll get up to anything whilst I’m babysitting Tilda. We just want to spend some time together.”

 

“Oh yeah, and what will happen when Tilda is in bed?”

 

“Bain will be being a dick and annoying us.” She shrugged “Just as he always is. Go on Da. I just want to spend some time with her outside of college for a change.” She turned on the puppy eyes then “Please?”

 

Bard sighed “Fine. But promise me there’ll be no funny business. I’ll only be gone a couple of hours. And I want to meet her before hand, I’m not letting some random stranger into my house whilst I’m away.”

 

“She’s not a random stranger Da, she’s my girlfriend.”

 

“Who I am yet to meet. Thus, a stranger. I’ve said yes already, what more do you want from me?”

 

Sigrid gave a dramatic sigh, “Okay, you can meet her. I’ll tell her to get here early so you can interrogate her for a bit, cool?”

 

“Fantastic.” He smirked and Sigrid rolled her eyes once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first up, Dodie Smith.
> 
> Growing up, I was obsessed with Disney's 101 Dalmatians. Like, that was my favourite movie. I'd watch it on repeat and drive my Older Sister mad. I watched it so often that the VHS is now all fuzzy and jumpy. I had 101 Dalmatian PJs, TShirts, bags, Duvet Covers, Dressing Gowns, Ladybird books, anything that had a Dalmatian on it - I wanted it. If I had to pick a first obsession, it would be this film. One day when I was a little older, around 9 or 10, I discovered the book in the back of the School Library and discovered that, even though it was quite different to the film, it was somehow even better! 
> 
> So when I was writing this story, about puppies. Well, I couldn't NOT mention it now could I? So, yes. Sigrid and Tilda love that movie and that book. Bain also loves them, but he is too busy being a 14 year old to admit to it. 
> 
> In terms of Head Canon stuff that I think might need clearing up, it's mainly in terms of when Kendra and Elenath died. 
> 
> So you know Kendra died of Cancer and Elenath died by being hit by a van. But here is some other random info. 
> 
> It's been 3 years Since Kendra died, and so Tilda was only 3 when she died thus she doesn't really have any memories of her.
> 
> Kendra was being treated for about a year before that, so one of the reasons that Bard is so better adjusted to her death than Thranduil is to Elenath's is because he had more time to prepare for it, as did Kendra. 
> 
> They've had Fíli and Kíli for about the same amount of time as when Kendra met them, she knew that they were exactly what her family would need to be able to pull through all of this. 
> 
> Elenath's been dead for 3 years. She died when Legolas was 16 during the summer after his GCSEs. So he was using the summer to train Tauriel with his mother which is partly why he's so connected to her, as she's the last memory he has of being with his mother. 
> 
> Legolas is in his Second year of University, and Sigrid is in her last year of ALevels, so whilst it looks like there's only a year between them, it's slightly more than that. Enough that Legolas would still look at her and see a child. Because when you're in your Second Year, ALevels Students do not look like they are ready to fly the nest and live on their own. They look like those penguin chicks you get, where most of the down is off of them, but they've still got a little bit left that makes them look kinda fuzzy and confused. 
> 
> ALevels are Hell though, and if you are going through them at the moment, then God Speed my fair Child you can DO THIS! I BELIEVE IN YOU! IF I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU!!!! Same goes for GCSEs. Or SATs. If you're doing the IB then you are mental and bought that on yourself you crazy person. (I don't know any other international qualifications so maybe IB is all you can do???)


	7. Five Love Sick Pups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That't right kids, it's about time it happened, but at long last Gimli is going to actually meet his Beloved's Family! Canine and Human alike. 
> 
> Featuring Good-For-Nothing-Boyfriends, Excessive Teasing, and, as always, Love-Sick Puppies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a short chapter this one, I'm afraid, but I plan on posting Chapter 8 and 9 together, so hopefully that will make up for the fact somewhat.
> 
> Once again, my thanks go to East_Wind for the Beta <3

Thranduil had been trying to still his nerves and excitement for his date with Bard in two ways:

 

The first was to concentrate on Legolas’ arrival on the Friday. He did this by having the entire house professionally cleaned, before going back over and doing it himself. He made sure the fridge was stocked with all of Legolas’ favourite food and even checked with him as to what Gimli’s preferences were (Beer, Ale and anything fried seemed to be the response). The house had never looked so clean and even Tauriel was beginning to look guilty whenever she traipsed ginger hair into the cream carpet. Of course, the girl was not to be blamed, as there was simply so much of her nowadays that she couldn’t help being closer to the ground than before.

 

The Second, and much less favourable way, was to go back to his usual strict and terrifying self at work. Bard’s influence had made him a lot happier, and thus, a lot nicer to his employees. Whilst none of them seemed brave enough to take advantage of this- they still seemed more scared than they normally were when Thranduil snapped at the interns for spelling mistakes in inter-company memos, and growled at managers who weren’t meeting their targets. And Valar save the Client who thought they knew better than the CEO of the company they were employing. Thranduil didn’t mean to be so cruel, but it was just how his nerves came through. However, he decided he did need to send flowers and a gift card to the assistant he’d yelled at for getting his coffee order wrong. Forgetting to run a memo through spell check was a crime, getting soya milk instead of semi skimmed was not. He might be a well renowned bitch, but he had principles.

 

Needless to say, his employees and himself were grateful when Friday came along and Thranduil would be spending the afternoon in the company of his son and his boyfriend.

 

Thranduil was to meet them at the station at 1pm before dropping their luggage off at home and going to Gandalf’s to pick up Tauriel. He wished he could spend more time with her, now that he saw the dog as a companion rather than a nuisance, but he had a company to run and that meant leaving her with the dog sitters- at least it meant that she was constantly being watched by experts, so should she go into labour, he knew she’d be well looked after. She was due next week, after all.

 

The boys train was running late, as trains always were, so Thranduil found himself sitting in a stuffed Costa, fighting for elbow space with the unwashed masses. He tutted at his empty coffee mug, and was just about to give up and go wait in the car instead, when he spied his son entering the main station. His face lit up, it had been so long since he’d laid eyes on his boy. Legolas had grown somewhat since he’d last seen him, both in height and in girth. He was holding his travel bag in one hand, and the hand of a short, plump, bearded man in the other. Their height difference was almost comical, but nobody could mistake the look of love between the two as anything but heart warming, and Thranduil suspected that anyone who laughed at the pair would seriously live to regret it.

 

He jumped down from his seat and resisted the urge to yell out their names, quickly weaving his way towards them through the crowd. Legolas had been looking around for him, and Thranduil saw his son tightly squeeze his boyfriend’s hand as he spotted his father.

 

“Legolas, my dear son.” He grinned as he got nearer “I’m so happy to see you again” and without warning he pulled his son into a warm hug. Legolas seemed taken aback somewhat, but patted his father on the back none the less. “And this must be Gimli.” He smiled down at the ginger man.

 

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Said Gimli, the forced politeness somewhat at contrast to his rough Scottish accent. He held out his hand for Thranduil to shake, which Thranduil took warmly in both of his.

 

“The pleasure is all mine. It is long overdue that we met. This way to the car,” he smiled, “allow me to take your bags.”

 

“No, no, it’s alright.” Began Gimli, but Thranduil would not take no for an answer and took their luggage.

 

Gimli shared a surprised look with Legolas, as they followed Thranduil to the car park.

 

“Are you sure ya’ Dad’s all right?” he whispered “He’s nothing like you described him…”

 

“I’m not sure, I guess love can change a man? Do you think he’s in love?”

 

“Well, I’m not going to know am I.” he huffed “You’re the psychologist. If you want anything building, come to me, I’ll leave all the mental mum-bo-jumbo to you.”

 

“One way to find out” he whispered “So, Father” he spoke up “How’s Bard doing? You looking forward to your date tomorrow evening?”

 

Thranduil let out a nervous breath “I am looking forward to seeing him again, yes. He’s taking me to Oakleaves and I’ve never been before. It should be a most enjoyable evening indeed. We’ve both been so busy over the last couple of days what with work and him having to look after the kids, that we haven’t had a chance to really talk.” He blushed a bit then, changing the subject as quickly “But you don’t want to hear about your old man, tell me about you two, how was the journey? Have you had lunch yet? Do you want anything in particular, we can visit a café on the way home or go out for a proper meal if you prefer.”

 

Legolas and Gimli shared each a smirk. Yep, his father was definitely head over heels for this man.

 

“Just take us home Father, I’m eager for Gimli to meet the rest of the family.”

 

“Oh of course. She’s at Gandalf’s at the moment but we can pick her up as soon as possible, Son.”

 

Legolas smiled, “Good.”

 

“And feel free to talk about Bard as much as you want, Mr Greenleaf, don’t hold back on our account.” Grinned Gimli, receiving an elbow to the ribs for his jape.

 

Thranduil laughed nervously, opening the boot of the car and pointedly ignoring the question. Today was meant to be about them, after all. He really shouldn’t talk about himself so much, this weekend was meant to be about his son, after all, not about his own love life. Although, he got the impression that he’d be answering more questions about himself and Bard, then Legolas and Gimli would be about themselves.

 

*

 

“Tauriel!” cried Legolas, kneeling down on the floor as the Belgian Shepherd came waddling towards him as full speed “Oh look at you girl it’s been so long, I’ve missed you” he said, hugging her warmly. Tauriel licked his face enthusiastically and barked excitedly when Gimli crouched down as well. “Tauriel, I’d like you to meet Gimli. Now I like Gimli very much, so I want you to be gentle on him” Tauriel yapped and bounded over to Gimli to smother him in kisses.

 

Legolas laughed as his boyfriend attempted to settle her down “She doesn’t normally like strangers Gimli, you really must be special.”

 

“I’d like to be less special please. I’m going to need a shower to get rid of all this drool. Down Girl down!” but his protest were half hearted and Tauriel ignored them.

 

“As I told you, she’s become a lot less serious in personality now that she’s expecting. I blame the father.”

 

And right on cue, Kíli came bounding up to them, tail wagging and a ball in his mouth. Tauriel lept away from Gimli, and waddled towards her mate, giving him an affectionate lick. The pair slumped down in a pile on the floor, tails wagging.

 

“So this is the hound who stole my Tauriel’s virtue.” Said Legolas raising an eyebrow “Not much to look at, is he? I thought he’d be taller.”

 

“Now Legolas, don’t be so crude. Didn’t your mother teach you that it was the nature of the dog which made it a champion, not the fluffiness of its coat?” said Gandalf coming out of the main room “All the same, a pleasure to see you again, how are you my boy? And this must be Master Gimli, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

 

“You have?” said Gimli, climbing to his feet. “I’ve heard nothing about you, Mr?”

 

“Greyheim, Gandalf Greyheim” He smiled, stepping forward to shake Gimli’s hand “Legolas has been sending me regular emails.”

 

“No I haven’t.” Said Legolas, glancing over Gandalf’s shoulder as Eowyn and Arwen deliberately avoided his eyes, “I’ve been emailing those two gossiping harpies.” He said, folding his arms “Eowyn, Arwen, those were private!”

 

“So, Eowyn, didn’t you want to show me that dog of yours?”

 

“Why yes, Arwen, I’ll just go and grab her, would you care to join me?” And the pair exited the room as quickly as possible, making an obvious, yet feeble, attempt to hide their giggles.

 

“This isn’t over Rohan, Evenstar!” cried Legolas after them. “Is there no privacy in this place?”

 

“Oh Legolas, you know how useless it is to keep things from me.” Gandalf grinned at him “I promised your mother I’d keep an eye on you, I’m sure she’d be very happy to see just how smitten you’ve become with Master Gimli.” His eyes glittering, he turned to Thranduil “And how are things with you and Bard, Mr Greenleaf?”

 

This time it was Thranduil’s turn to blush “Last time we spoke he was very well, Gandalf. We really must be going now though, come, Tauriel.” And the dog struggled to her feet, Kíli affectionately rubbing his snout against hers as she did so.

 

“Aye, Legolas, don’t be so harsh on the pup. He seems a decent Lad. I’ve a cousin who keeps them, they’re a grand breed.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it. At least Tauriel seems to like him well enough, and he seems to be showering her with all the love she deserves.”

 

“Oh yes, it can be quite hard to separate them at times.” Said Gandalf, his eyes twinkling again.

 

“Not that you’ve tried all that hard. Do not think I’ve forgotten that you’re responsible for this, Greyheim.” Said Legolas, glaring at the old man, but Gandalf just put a hand on his heart and gave out a dramatic sigh.

 

“I shall not, Legolas Greenleaf, be penalised for encouraging True Love.” And with that he disappeared from the room.

 

“Come on Girl, time to say goodbye to your good for nothing boyfriend.” Tauriel and Kíli growled slightly at Legolas’ insult, but Tauriel followed him along anyway. Gimli rolled his eyes

 

“I think you should apologise there ‘Las, he ain’t done anything wrong by either of you, by the looks of things.” He bent down and ruffled the Elkhound’s fur. “I apologise for my good for nothing boyfriend, he means well or so I’m told. He’s just upset that you’ve deflowered his precious little Lass, but he’s forgotten she’s deflowered you as well, ain’t she?” Kíli gave him a perplexed look, not sure what to make of what the mass of ginger hair was saying but cautiously wagged his tail, as he seemed nice enough. Plus he smelt of good things like earth, rocks and snow. “Go on then ‘Las, apologise to Kíli here.”

 

Legolas rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s sentimentality “I apologise Kíli. You happy now, _Gims_?”

 

“Oh aye.” He stood up “You keep care of yourself now Kíli.” waving to the Elkhound as they exited the centre. Kíli gave a farewell yap, watching as his mate and her family got into their car before running back to tell his brother about it all. Fíli might say he was sick of hearing about Tauriel, but how could anyone ever be sick of hearing about such a wonderful dog and her rather odd family?


	8. Last Minute Jitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only a few hours left before The Big Date, and everyone is starting to get a bit anxious about what this all means in the grand scheme of things.
> 
> But it's only one date with one man, surely that's no big deal? Right???

“Oh Father come now, you’re not really going to be wearing that to your date, are you?”

 

Thranduil looked down at what he was wearing. He’d always prided himself on his excellent fashion sense. The suit was well fitted, formal but the royal blue colour made it less intimidating. It made him look as though he was taking this relationship seriously “What’s wrong with it?”

 

“You look like you’re going to a business meeting with bankers, not on a date with a delivery man.”

 

“Transport Operations Conductor.” Muttered Thranduil,

 

“Aye, he’s right Thranduil, haven’t you got anything else ya’ could wear? Something less aggressively serious.”

 

Thranduil thought about it, the boys were correct, damn them. He did look far too formal. If he wore it to work, it probably meant that it wasn’t right for a date…

 

“But we’re going to a restaurant, I need to look serious…” he mumbled feebly

 

“Come on Father, take me to your room. I’ll help you pick something more appropriate. Gimli, you stay put and give us a second opinion.”

 

Gimli smirked “Ya know I’m not one of those gay guys who’s big on the fashion knowledge?”

 

“Anyone who’s ever seen a photo of you before you let me dress you, knows that Gimli. It’s why you’ll be the perfect specimen. Queer as anything and still the most bloakish guy I know.”

 

“I’d resent that if it weren’t true.” Laughed the ginger, sinking back into the leather sofa with half a pint of larger in his hand.

 

Once they were in Thranduil’s bedroom, Legolas wasted no time in sliding back the wardrobe doors and riffling through the rows of clothes.

 

“Suits, suits, suits, suits, I’m sure you must own things that aren’t suits.”

 

“I keep casual wear at the end of the wardrobe.” Said Thranduil sliding the door towards the left to reveal a modest collection of tracksuits, jumpers and polo shirts.

 

“Nothing spectacular here then. Oh well. Make it work.” And Legolas began pulling things out at random and putting them against his father as though he were just a manikin, throwing things into a “Yes”, “Maybe” and a “Hell No” pile. By the end of it, Thranduil felt like most of his wardrobe had ended up on the “Hell No” pile.

 

“Okay Father. Here are four possible outfits. Try them on, pick your favourite, then come downstairs and show them to us one at a time.”

 

Thranduil nodded as Legolas exited the room and stared at the items sitting on his bed. There was a combination of suit trousers with polo shirts, chinos with dress shirts, and jeans with fitted shirts. He didn’t even remember buying most of these items. He usually just ordered things straight from the tailor for specific occasions and meetings. He couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d actively gone out and bought anything. He heaved a deep sigh and tried on the first outfit, wondering what Bard was doing at this very moment.

 

*

 

Bard was staring at the mirror in the bathroom, trying to decide whether to shave his beard off or not. Sigrid had arrived home from college one day and thrown an Oxfam bag at him, containing a new pair of trousers, a soft looking jumper and a ¾ length shirt, informing him that it was what he’d be wearing on his date with Thranduil. However she’d said nothing about his facial hair. He’d had the same style for quite some time now, a person would have to look back to well before even Sigrid was born to find one of him clean-shaven. That renegade rebel teen look was something he’d carried on well into parenthood, it would seem. Was it time to shed the look?

 

“As much as I hate to say it Da, don’t shave the soul patch.” Bard whipped round to see Bain leaning against the doorframe

 

“Aye, who said you could come in here?” he barked, tightening the towel around his waist.

 

“You left the door unlocked Da, and Siggy’s hogging the downstairs bathroom because her _girlfriend_ is coming round.” He rolled his eyes “I thought you’d be done by now though, isn’t the advantage of dating a guy that you don’t have to bother with all this crap?”

 

Bard smiled fondly at his son, “Aye, you’ll learn soon enough Bain, that no matter the gender, if you want to impress them, then you’ve got to always look your best. You recon I should keep the facial hair then?”

 

“Yeah, it’s who you are Da, you’d look odd without it. Maybe just even it up a little on either side though. You look a bit wonky.”

 

“Thanks Bain.” He smiled and went about trimming sections, Bain hesitated at his spot by the door, chewing his lip. Bard put down his razor and turned to look back at his son. “What’s wrong Bain. Tell me. Is it me going on this date? Do you not like Thranduil? Is it” he paused looking carefully into his son’s eyes “Is it the whole bisexual thing?”

 

“Urgh, no Da. I don’t mind that you’re dating a bloke, I mean, loads of guys do and I mean, Sig’s dating a girl that’s basically the same thing. It’s just… I don’t know what it is okay? It’s just, weird.”

 

Bard perched on the rim of the bath and patted the spot next to him “Close the door and come and sit with your old man.” Bain obliged and cautiously perched on the edge. “Now. If it’s not the revelation that your father is a card-carrying bisexual”

 

“You don’t actually have a card do you? Because that’s kind of lame.”

 

“I’ve probably still got a Pits and Perverts TShirt somewhere if that’s what you’re thinking of” he laughed

 

Bain rolled his eyes again, he’d clearly learnt that from his sister “It’s not the liking-blokes thing Da, I told you, I’m okay with that. It’s just the, dating thing, in general. I think.” The teenager looked down into his hands and refused to meet Bard’s eye. “I just. I don’t know Da, I didn’t think it’d be weird and I know, I know Siggy says that it’s been a long time since Ma died and that you should be able to date again but just… but it’s Ma, Da.” He sniffed and Bard could tell the boy was trying to hold back his tears

 

“How can you love someone else when you’ve always loved her, does this mean you’re gonna stop loving her? I don’t understand Da, I thought, I thought when you loved someone that was it. But she’s dead and, and you’re not and I get that I do but, I still think about her all the time Da.”

 

Bard pulled his son into a hug and held him close against his chest, stroking his hair as Bain cried onto his shoulder. “Hey now, hey now Lad. It’s okay, it’s okay. I understand. It’s a bit too soon you think?”

 

Bain shook his head and Bard heard a muffled "No."

 

“Do you want me to call Thranduil and cancel?”

 

There was a long pause and then Bain shook his head slowly.

 

“Okay then Lad. Let me tell you this then. I could never, and will never, love someone the same way I loved your Ma, you understand me?”

 

Bain sniffed in response, still clinging to his father

 

“She meant the world to me, to us all. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t miss her, that I wouldn’t trade everything I have to hold her one last time. But that’s not going to happen, is it? She’s not with us in that way anymore.” It was Bard’s turn to get teary eyed now “That doesn’t mean that she’s not with us anymore. I see her in Tilda’s smile, I see her in Sigrid’s wisdom, I hear her in your snark.” He chuckled, causing Bain to give out an amused huff of laughter as well, glad to hear the sobbing had subsided somewhat.

 

“I could never forget her Bain, never ever. And I will always love her no matter what. But that doesn’t mean I can’t find love in other places. We don’t have to limit ourselves in how much we love. If it’s one thing your mother taught me, Bain, it’s just how much love there is in the world, it’s one of the greatest untapped sources of energy we have. It can’t be destroyed, it can’t be replaced, and you’ll be surprised just how much of it a single person can contain. So, I think I’ve got plenty of energy within me to generate some more love for Thranduil.”

 

Bain snickered at that “Please Da, no gory details.”

 

“Oh come on Bain” said Bard, pushing his son away playfully “What was that even on? Where were you even going with that one?” Bain chuckled and wiped his hands across his eyes,

 

“I’m sorry Da. I was just being selfish.”

 

“No. Don’t apologise Bain. You’re well within your rights to feel this way. Goodness knows I did when your Grandpa died and Nan started seeing that fisherman down the road.” Bain laughed,

 

“You mean the one Nan beat over the head with a haddock?”

 

“Aye, him. The scoundrel. Nobody cheats on your Nan and gets away with it, mark my words. Though don’t worry Bain, Thranduil is a much nicer man than that Gavin was.”

 

“I know Da. Thranduil’s all right. A bit, you know, weird and posh, but he’s alright.”

 

“Thanks Son. Keep the beard then?”

 

“Keep the beard Da.” Nodded Bain “Oh and Da,”

 

“Yes Bain?”

 

“Can I actually use the bog now? That is why I came in here in the first place...”

 

“Oh right. Just, shout when you’re done. And wash your hands.”

 

“Yeah yeah Da, I know, I’m not seven!”

 

“No, worse, you’re fourteen!” cried Bard as the door was slammed in his face

 

“Da.” Asked a voice to his right and Bard looked down to see Tilda “Why do you have cream all over your face? Do you have strawberries in there? Oh can I have some please please please I promise not to tell Siggy and Bain!”

 

“No, Cariad, It’s just shaving cream, I use it to keep the hair on my face the right length.”

 

“Should I start using it then? I’d quite like to have a beard. I think it’d suit me. Conchita has a beard and she looks like a real actual princess. Even more so than Mr Fran-doo-all.”

 

“Is that so.” Said Bard, starting down the stairs, Tilda rushing down at his heels

 

“Yeah! He does, I mean I know he isn’t actually a princess, but he really does look like one!”

 

“So you like Thranduil then?” Tilda nodded excitedly “And you don’t mind me going out on a date with him?” Tilda violently shook her head

 

“No way Da! It’s the coolest thing ever! I’ve never been on a date and you get to go on one now and it’s to a proper restaurant and everything and Siggy says you’re going to both look super smart and talk into the night and do you think you’ll kiss him? Is Fran-Doodle going to be my dad as well? Are you two going to get married? CAN I BE A BRIDESMAID!? Can I wear my Elsa Dress? Will he move in with us because even if he lives in a palace then I don’t think I’d want to leave my room because it’s got all my posters in it but if we did then Kíli could live with Tauriel because they’re married now because she has puppies, is Tauriel going to be there or is she coming round to stay at ours for the evening like Siggy’s girlfriend, why haven’t we met her before? What do you think she’s going to be like? Do you think her and Siggy are going to get married? SIGGY! CAN I BE A BRIDESMAID AT YOUR AND FELICITY’S WEDDING!?”

 

A muffled call of “Go away Tilda!” was heard from within the bathroom. Bard sighed and banged on the door

 

“Sigrid, I know you want to look your best for Felicity but you’ve been in there long enough. Out so as I can finish shaving. I’m sure you look as beautiful as ever.”

 

“Just give me another minute.”

 

“No. Now, or I set the dogs on you.”

 

Bard heard a frustrated groan from within, and the door flew open to reveal Sigrid with a towel wrapped around her head, with a full face of what she would refer to as 'Natural Cosmetics' and Bard would refer to as 'Makeup'.

 

“Thank you.” Said Bard stepping aside to let her pass. Sigrid rolled her eyes and muttered something about being almost finished anyway and stupid parents and their stupid boyfriends. Bard could tell she was nervous about introducing Felicity to them all, but it was really about time they met, and after all, she was the one to suggest it in the first place. Bard chuckled as he finished washing the cream off of his face, he’d bet good money Thranduil was spending an equal amount of time on his clothes as Sigrid was.

 

*

 

“Well, it’ll have to do I guess.” Said Legolas staring at his father with a critical eye. "I still think outfit number seven was the best, mind.”

 

Gimli scoffed from his position on the sofa “It made him look like a disney prince. No way am I letting a grown man out like that.”

 

“There is nothing wrong with a bit of fairy tale romance in life!”

 

Gimli shook his head, smirking “If ya’ say so. Just don’t expect me to ever wear that kind of get up. This’ll be fine. It’s only a date after all, why are ya’ bothering so much?”

 

“Because it is Father’s first proper date in over two decades. I’m not going to let him ruin it with poor clothing choices.”

 

Thranduil looked down at what he was wearing. In the end they’d settled on a light blue shirt with an open collar, with an undone black suit jacket and a pair of plain charcoal grey chinos. It was the tenth combination of clothing he’d tried on, and it seemed to be the only one they could all agree on. Legolas thought it made him look approachable and welcoming without sacrificing class, and Gimli said it didn’t make him look like a complete twat. That would do him. He looked down at his watch. He still had an hour left before he had to leave.

 

“How terrible would it be if I started drinking now?” he asked the room at large

 

“Very.” Said Legolas, and Gimli shrugged in silent agreement with his boyfriend.

 

Thranduil flopped down into his armchair, “Why did I give up smoking again?” he huffed and began to watch the clock, 58 minutes to go…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit nervous about this chapter, so any constructive criticism on this one would be very much appreciated! 
> 
> Also I may have been watching Pride when I was writing this, hence the Pits and Perverts reference. But I figured, Bard would have been a Teenager in Wales at that time, so it made sense to me that he'd have been involved in LGSM in some way =)


	9. Unnecessary Romantic Subplot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time coming, but at last Bard and the Bardlings get to meet with Sigrid's Girlfriend! 
> 
> It truly is a night for romance and new beginnings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've posted this chapter at the same time as Chapter 8 because it is just completely unnecessary to the overall plot of the work. So if you're not into Fígrid feel free to skip it. It is, as the title suggests, a completely unnecessary romantic subplot in a romance story. 
> 
> Even if they're the Author's new found OTP ;)
> 
> When I started writing this I didn't ship 'em beyond the Crack Stage. Then they kept cropping up in other fics I was reading as a side pairing, and the rest was history ^^; 
> 
> So yeah, if it's not your thing, feel free to skip. But if you came here because there's not a lot in the tag, then here you go, have some Modern AU Rule 63 Biker Chick Meet The Family Romance =)
> 
> My thanks to East_Wind for continuing to be my Beta <3

About half an hour before Bard had to leave, there was a loud, confident knock at the door. There was the sound of thunderous footsteps, as the whole pack came racing towards the front door in eagerness to open it first. Through sheer determination, Sigrid got to the door before anyone else, but the strong grip of her father’s hand on her shoulder meant that she was swiftly pushed aside.

 

She ran round to push past the dogs and her siblings so as she could be right behind Bard when the door opened, and could quickly whisk Felicity away before her father found a way to terrify her girlfriend. She was only happy that she’d had the foresight to lock away his archery equipment, otherwise he’d probably open the door carrying the medieval weaponry.

 

Bard squared his shoulders, gestured for them all to step away and opened the door with full force to stare at the girl waiting on his doorstep. She was short, shorter than even Bain, with her mane of golden hair held back in a series of  elaborate braids. What she lacked in height though she made up for with muscle, the kind only obtained through regular physical sport, rather than obsessive amounts of time spent at the gym.

 

She was wearing a leather biker jacket and thick jeans, a helmet tucked under one arm spray painted with a curious design which looked like ancient runes of some description. Her right ear was pierced with a series of small hoops and studs whilst her left was unblemished and hidden behind what amount of hair was not tied back. She’d been looking cocky and confident before, but one look at his death glare caused her to take an automatic step backwards.

 

“Yes.” Said Bard gruffly “What do you want? Who are you? Why are you here?”

 

The girl gave an audible gulp before regaining her composure “Felicity Burinson, at your service.” She said giving a bow of her head, “I was told you were in need of a babysitter for tonight whilst you attend upon a gentleman friend of yours, and here I am.” She looked up and caught Sigrid’s eye, and gave a small wink, before turning back to Bard, who still stood in the doorway doing his best to look intimidating, but a grin was threatening to spread across his face.

 

“Well I suppose you best come in then, Felicity Burinson.” And he stepped back and Felicity gave a nod of thanks.

 

Before the rest of the family could say anything, Sigrid had grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and lead her swiftly into the living room, followed quickly by an excitable Kíli and a curious Fíli.

 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered “You’re the first girl I’ve bought home and he’s just trying to be funny.”

 

“It’s alright, Ma’ll do the same when she meets you, and worse. Did I tell you she keeps an axe by the door?”

 

“Da would have had his bow and arrow, if I hadn’t have hidden them.” She laughed, pecking her girlfriend on the cheek.

 

“Ewww, get a room.” Cried Bain, who had just entered the very room they’d been occupying. Sigrid rolled her eyes but Felicity just laughed.

 

“Please don’t leave.” said Bard, having somewhat dropped the aggressive parent routine, “I’d rather have a chance to talk before Sigrid squirrels you away from me.” He stepped forward to shake Felicity’s hand, and was pleased to note that she had a firm hand-shake.

 

He didn’t know what to expect from Sigrid’s girlfriend, considering she’d been quite reluctant with information. All he knew what that she was a couple of years older than Sigrid (he wasn’t sure how he felt about that) and that she was working her apprenticeship at a jewellers around her art foundation.

 

“Bard Bowman.” he said gesturing for her to sit down, “A pleasure to meet you, Sigrid has told me almost nothing about you.”

 

“Has she now? How nice of you Sigrid, it’s good to know I’m so liked.”

 

Sigrid blushed slightly and slapped her playfully on the arm “Don’t be like that. You saw what he was like, I’m not going to put up with that 24/7, anyway, it’s not like you’ve told your mum all that much about me.” She hesitated “Have you?”

 

“Well, what can I say, you’re important to me and my mother has a way of wrangling out important information from people. Your dad would never be as rude as my mum, I’m sure, would you, Mr Bowman?” she asked. The girl was relaxing to her surroundings now, far less tense than she’d been at the door.

 

“Is that your motorbike outside?” asked Bain, curiously

 

“Yep, it’s not new or anything though. It used to belong to my dad, he left it to me after he passed away, though I’ve only been legally allowed to ride it for a couple of years now.” She laughed. Bard noted that she did that a lot, evidence of her jovial personality.

 

“I hope he didn’t die in a crash, that’d be ironic. Giving you the gift that killed him.”

 

“Bain.” Warned Bard giving him a glare “Don’t be so rude, why don’t you take Felicity’s jacket and helmet.”

 

“It’s quite all right, he’s been gone for almost ten years now, I think I’ve reached the point of being able to make jokes about him, Mahal knows it’s what he would have wanted.” She slipped out of her jacket though and handed it to Bain, before sitting on the sofa next to Sigrid. Bard noted that it had a silver raven on the back, surrounded by similar runes as on her helmet, however the writing on the bottom read ‘The Mountains of Erebor’

 

“You’re not part of some sort of biker gang, are you?” Said Bain, frowning at the gear “I can’t let my sister date someone who’s in a gang.”

 

“You don’t get a say in anyone I date Bain, but as it happens, yes, she is in a gang.”

 

Felicity gave a nervous laugh, glancing at Bard “Well, I wouldn’t call it a gang of sorts. We just meet up and go for rides together, trips to the Isle of Man and stuff. We also take part in this charity thing, Bikers Against Child Abuse, where we escort kids to court when they have to face their abusers, so as they feel confident in what they have to say, because they’ve got us backing them up.

 

You should see Dwalin, he’s about 6ft 8, covered in tattoos and scars- he’s absolutely terrifying. But he’s such a softie at heart, I mean he’s even got a pet cat called Buttons. He’s the one who suggested we join up when he read about them.”

 

Bain nodded in approval “So long as you don’t do anything illegal.” He muttered as he took her coat into the hall.

 

“I assume you’re fully qualified then?”

 

“Oh of course! Don’t worry! I’ve been riding since I was 17 and I’ve never even got so much as a parking ticket.” She nodded “It’s my sister you’ve got to worry about, she’s qualifying this year and I’m not sure the world is ready for Kelly on a motorbike.”

 

“And she won’t let me ride on the back either.” Added Sigrid with a disappointed sigh “So you don’t have to worry about that, not that you should considering you and Mum used to ride around on a bike.”

 

“I didn’t say anything.” Said Bard, holding his hands in the air “I’m not a hypocrite, I just worry about you. You’ve no experience on a bike, Sig.”

 

“That’s what I told her Mr Bowman” Nodded Felicity eagerly “I wouldn’t dare have her on the back, not until she’s had some practice with a more experienced rider like Dwalin or Mum.”

 

“Which you promised I could get over summer.” Reminded Sigrid

 

“Which I promised you could get over summer.” Replied Felicity putting an arm around Sigrid and pulling her close to her. She caught Bard’s eye though and immediately released her and put her hands back in her lap.

 

Bard looked over the pair of them, they were clearly happy together and comfortable around each other, it didn’t surprise him that she wanted to be with her as much as possible, they did seem really, well, cute, together. Bard grinned at the pair of them

 

“You’re all right Felicity. You’re all right; and please, call me Bard.”

 

Felicity let out a deep breath and a broad grin spread across her face as she replaced the arm around Sigrid’s waist. Sigrid shuffled up closer and snuggled into her girlfriend’s shoulder. She must have been a good head taller than the girl, but she simply tucked her feet underneath her on the sofa to get a better angle.  

 

“Felicity” piped up Tilda at last, who’d been hiding behind her father since Felicity arrived.

 

“Yes Tilda?” asked Felicity, smiling down at the small girl “You’re sister’s told me a lot about you.”

 

“Has she?” asked Tilda excitedly, coming out from behind Bard’s chair

 

“Yes, she told me you’re a very smart girl and a lot of fun to be around.”

 

“I think ‘Mischief Maker’ was my exact phrase.” Corrected Sigrid

 

“Same thing.” Winked Felicity “And please, since we’re getting informal, call me Fliss.” Tilda giggled and ran up to cling on to the arm of the sofa

 

“Fliss, how did you get your hair like that? With all those plaits and braids? It looks really Bad Ass!”

 

“Tilda!” cried Sigrid “Where did you hear language like that?”

 

Tilda just shrugged “Bain says it all the time. Why, is it rude?”

 

“Well, not particularly.” Mused her Father “But it’s not deemed good in polite society. It’s not something you should say to our guest here.”

 

Tilda gave Felicity an apologetic look. “Sorry Fliss.” She pouted

 

“It’s all right Tilda” She grinned “I wouldn’t count me as polite society, Ma’s tried to install manners in me but I don’t think it worked all that well. Although I do know how to throw a four course dinner party.”

 

Tilda’s eyes lit up “Like in Beauty and the Beast! Where they dance!”

 

Felicity laughed “Something like that yeah. But to answer your first question, hair braiding’s a bit of a family tradition, my mum taught me, and she was taught by her mum, and she was taught by her mum and well, you get the picture.” she smiled

 

“Did your ma put those braids in your hair then? Sometimes Sigrid does my hair but it never looks as cool as yours! Could your ma come and do mine like that for school? It’d make Angie reeeeeally jealous!”

 

“Well, I put these ones in, so it’s easy enough once you know how. I don’t know about making people jealous though, it’s not a good trait to encourage, but I still think you’d look incredibly cool with some braids. I can show you how to do them tonight if you like. So long as it’s okay with your dad?” Said Felicity, looking up to seek Bard’s approval

 

“Hey, so long as it takes me out of the firing line for hair braiding, it’s all good to me.”

 

He looked up and spotted the time. Now it was his turn to feel nervous, and Sigrid thought she recognised the look on his face as the same one she’d seen on Felicity's when she first told her Da wanted to meet her. One of terror mixed with excitement.

 

“Time to get going?” she asked, smiling. She extracted herself from Felicity’s warm hug and stood up to inspect her Father “What do you think guys, does he look the part?”

 

“Yeah, he looks alright.” Said Bain “It’s hard to tell when you’re related to someone though.” He titled his head on the side “Yeah. I guess he looks like a guy going on a date.”

 

“I think you look brilliant Da!” said Tilda leaping forward

 

Bard laughed “Fit for a princess?”

 

Tilda rolled her eyes “I told you Da, Fran-do-all isn’t a princess, he just looks like one.”

 

“Felicity? What do you think?” asked Bard, doing a quick turn on the spot

 

She gave a mock frown and tapped her chin “Well, you’re not a scratch on your daughter, but I can confirm that you are, indeed, one handsome fellow. Your Gentleman Friend is lucky to have such a fine dinner date.” And she gave another mock bow.

 

“Now have you got everything you need?” asked Sigrid ushering him out of the room.

 

“I think so.” He said picking up his coat from the rack, he didn’t care if the faded and patchy suede didn’t go with the overall outfit, it was still his favourite and warmest coat.

 

“Wallet, keys, phone?” she asked

 

He patted his pockets down and felt the vague lumps that could be these items. “Yes, got them.”

 

“Are you sure?” said Sigrid raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms across her chest. Bard searched through his pockets by hand.

 

“Er, no, keys, where are my keys?” he began randomly lifting things up from the drawer in the hallway. Sigrid sighed and picked them up from the floor where they’d been haphazardly thrown into one of Bain’s trainers. Bard grinned down at his daughter “What would I do without you?”

 

“Well you’d be late for your date and locked out the house for one.” She leant up and pecked her Father on the cheek before whispering “So you’re sure you’re okay with Felicity staying over?”

 

“Yes I’m sure. She’s a nice girl, and she seems to make you happy. Plus Tilda likes her, and you know how hard it is to deprive Tilda of anything.” Sigrid gave out a snort of laughter. He took his daughter’s face in his hands and kissed the top of her head affectionately.

 

“Wish me luck.” He grinned at his oldest.

 

“Good luck.” She smiled “Everyone! Da’s leaving now! Come and wave him out the door!”

 

Everyone piled into the corridor and waved him out of the door, the dogs yapping their approval.

 

“Have a good time Da!”

 

“Tell Fran-Doo-All to say hello to Tauriel for me!”

 

“Don’t get drunk again!”

 

“Good Luck Bard!”

 

He clambered into the car, took a deep breath, and set off for his first date in over 18 years.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed that!
> 
> Bikers Against Child Abuse (B.A.C.A) is an actual thing and exists in the world, which I love as a concept! I figured Dwalin would totally be down for that kind of thing, so naturally I had to have him make them sign up =)
> 
> I chose Burinson for Fliss' surname because most authors have Fíli and Kíli's Dad be called Víli, and in Norse myth Víli's dad was called Buri. It made sense to go a generation back for the surname as Durin isn't exactly the name of Thorin's dad either. I figured convention dictates that the girls would take their Father's name rather than their Mother's, even with someone as strong willed as Dís, so I went with Burinson. A bit of a leap I know, but hey- what can I say - I've been watching a lot of Almighty Johnsons of late ^^;


	10. The Big Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're Here and they're Queer!
> 
> That's right folks, Bard and Thranduil are finally in the same place at the same time (roughly) and are having food whilst enjoying pleasant conversation. 
> 
> Well, as much as one can when one's family friends are hovering over your shoulder trying to see what you're up to. Damn Bagginses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To celebrate my return home to my beloved London tomorrow, I thought I'd upload this chapter. I guess I should be sad that I'll not be back in Loughborough for over a year, but hey, I guess I love my City more than my Uni ^^;
> 
> Anywhom! 
> 
> I feel like for this chapter it's important to note that Bilbo is a Trans Woman by the name of Bella. She took the name from her supportive and loving mother. 
> 
> Thorin is gender queer and uses xir/xye pronouns. Xye is also dead so sorry about that. It just made things a bit easier for me somehow. 
> 
> I've written Bilbo/Bella more as they appear in Fellowship than in Hobbit, so she's a little older and a little battier =)
> 
> If you've got any questions or headcanons regarding the pair, hit me up =)

Thranduil ended up getting to the restaurant early. He’d dithered at the door slightly, uncertain what to expect from the place. He’d imagined it to appear in the same way that most vegetarian restaurants attempted to look, something up market with wood panelling and silver lettering on the walls. Oakleaves gave off a different vibe altogether though. Instead of elegant and sophistic it appeared homely and comfortable.

It was a small space, with only enough room inside for 8 or 9 tables with a maximum capacity of around 20, but each table was beautifully set with a checked table cloth and a deep red candle set inside a wine bottle. It might have all seemed fake, a company's concept of what welcoming and old fashioned looked like, if it weren’t for the waitress who was pottering about with a warm smile as she tended to the every need of her guests.

Thranduil had simply meant to wait outside the restaurant for Bard to arrive, but the woman caught him looking in through the window and beckoned for him to come in. Perplexed, and not wanting to seem rude, he entered through the large green oak front door, a little bell jingling as he did so.

“Welcome welcome welcome.” smiled his host as she rushed over to greet him. Up close, Thranduil was struck by just how short the woman was, with her head of bouncing curls coming up barely past his elbow.

“My name’s Bella, Bella Baggins, how can I help you today then Sir? Table for one, is it?”

“No, Mam, I am waiting on a friend, well.” he tugged at his collar slightly “My date. He said he would meet me here but I gather he hasn’t arrived yet.”

A light seemed to sparkle behind the woman’s eyes at the mention of a date

“Oh! Well then you must be Mr Greenleaf, Bard’s new boyfriend!”

“Well I wouldn’t go that-”

“Frodo my lad!” she called out towards the back “Bard’s boyfriend is here! Is their table ready?”

There was no response. She tutted

“Away with the fairies that one. If you’ll excuse me just a moment, I must see to my nephew.” and she bustled into the back where he heard hushed excitable voices.

When the woman came out again, she was accompanied by two men, one about the same height as herself, only much younger, with dark curls instead of auburn; and another slightly taller fellow with a mighty girth and large amounts of ginger hair kept tied tightly back behind a chef’s hat. They all peered curiously at him, and he got the feeling they were more excited for his date than he was.

The teenager, Frodo he presumed, came forward, a simple black apron tied around his waist. “This way please Mr Greenleaf. Sorry about my aunt. She can be a bit overwhelming at times. We’ve set aside a table for you, so as you won’t be disturbed too much.”

  
He was lead to a little table in the corner with immaculately shining silver cutlery, and napkins folded into perfect little swans sat upon a crisp linen tablecloth. The table was the only one marked with a handwritten “reserved” sign.

“Why thank you, Frodo.” he smiled, double checking the boys name tag to make sure his assumptions were correct “This will do nicely I’m sure.”

“Is there anything I can get you whilst you wait for Bard to arrive?” asked the boy “Would you like to see the wine menu perhaps?”

Thranduil smirked, at the knowing look in the boy’s eyes. Clearly, Bard was somewhat of a regular here, if the people knew him this well.

“No need,” smiled Thranduil “I trust in the judgement of your aunt, I’ll have whatever she recommends.”

“Certainly, I’m sure Bard won’t be long now, there was probably traffic. He’s not normally late to things.”

“No, he’s not.” Said Thranduil shrewdly, as he began to scan the menu. It all sounded delicious, Roasted Carrot and Bean Salad with Feta; Baked Aubergine stuffed with pumpkin and walnuts; Roasted pumpkin with Cream, Thyme and Parmesan. He looked around at what the other restaurant goers were eating and felt his stomach rumble in anticipation.

“So” said Bella, as she came over with a bottle of wine and poured him a glass (Rivendell ‘07 - a fine choice to compliment the sweet and earthy tastes of the vegetables on the menu) “you must tell me all about how you met Bard.” She pushed the glass towards him with another of her warm smiles, though he could sense a certain cunning in her smile now, it seemed quite possible that Bard had deliberately kept information away from her.

“We met in the usual way.” said Thranduil vaguely “Our dogs are cared for by the same Dog Sitting company. Our meeting was inevitable.”

“Oh?” she prompted

“We were simply talking and one day Bard asked me out on a date. And here I am. Although his tardiness is suggesting that he might not be all that serious in his attentions.”

Bella smiled “Oh the way he was jabbering on about you the other day when he was dropping off our vegetable order, I can tell you that’s wrong.” a dreamy look came over her face then.

“Reminds me of when Thorin and I first started dating. Oh xe was a cold one, not nearly as obvious in xyr affections as Bard is no doubt, but xe got the same soppy look on xyr face whenever I caught xyr looking at me from across the room. Took xyr years to ask me out properly, the fool. ” She sighed “We had so few years together in the end, but they were by far the happiest in my life.” She blushed

“Oh look at me, going on about my Thorin when we’re here to talk about you and Bard!”

“Actually, Bella.” came a voice from behind her “I think Thranduil is here to see me, not you.”

Bella turned round and saw Bard grinning down at her

“It’s good to see you again my friend.” he smiled and bent down to give her a warm hug, which was lovingly returned.

“The pleasure is all mine.” she hummed and pulled back the chair for Bard to sit down and filled his glass with wine.

“Not too much now, Bella.” he smiled “I do plan on making it back to my kids you know. Particularly as Sigrid’s new girlfriend is helping babysit, it’s why I was late, in fact. I wanted to interrogate her for a bit beforehand.”

Bella’s eyes grew wide as she set the bottle down “No! Little Sigrid? She’s got a girlfriend? Oh to think, I still remember when she was 14 and asking me all those awkward questions she didn’t think-”

Bard coughed and Bella suddenly stopped mid sentence. “But of course. Yes. You’re quite right. We can catch up properly another day.” she laid a hand on Bard’s arm

“Now you’re here, I’ll go fetch your food for you.”

“But neither of us have ordered yet,” began Thranduil

“Oh Pish-Posh.” she said “Do you really think I’d allow Bard and his date have that generic stuff that Bombur cooks? No no no. You’re getting something special you two.” and she pottered back to the kitchen, rubbing her hands together gleefully.

Bard and Thranduil exchanged amused looks and had to hide their giggles behind their wine glasses.

“I’m sorry. She’s a kind soul really, just a bit over eager at times when it comes to friends. Most people see her as a bit of a recluse, but once you know her, she’d walk across hell and back just to get you a pint of milk.”

“No it’s, fine.” said a bemused Thranduil “It’s sweet that she cares so much about you. You say Sigrid’s got a new girlfriend then?”

“Yes,” said Bard excitedly leaning over on the table “None of the kids have ever bought someone home before, so I had good fun pretending to try and frighten her off.”

“You didn’t get your bow out, did you?” smirked his date

“I would have, had Sigrid not hidden it away.”

“A wise girl that one. Tell me, what’s she like, this girlfriend? Would I approve?”

Bard hummed slightly,

“Well, she’s charming to say the least, though quite cheeky when the mood takes her I see. She laughs a lot and is very clearly head over heels for Sigrid.”

“Understandably so.”

“She’s a bit older though, only by a couple of years, but an 18 year-old dating a 20-year old does seem a bit odd to my ears. But then again, I am Sigrid’s dad. I was bound to find something to disapprove of.”

“Nobody will ever be good enough for her, I’m sure.”

Bard laughed at that “Well, I felt as though that went without saying.”

“I’m not so sure the age difference is all that bad anyway. Sigrid is very mature for her age, after all, you said it yourself.”

Bard hummed again “I suppose you’re right. Anyway, I don’t think I could stop Sigrid from seeing her, even if I tried.”

“Yes she’s a determined one that girl. I blame the parents.”

Bard gave out chuckle “You’re one to talk. How’s Legolas, by the way? Didn’t you say he was coming over this weekend?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry about the mix up on that one - I wasn’t thinking straight”

“Well, considering you said yes to a man asking you out, I’d hazard you really weren’t thinking straight.” Said Bard, a twinkle in his eye

Thranduil stifled a laugh, not wanting to give the man the satisfaction of having made him laugh with such an obvious joke.

“Legolas is doing fine. He is spending an enjoyable evening introducing Gimli and Tauriel. It appears the Greenleaf clan is likely to be expanded in more ways than one. I would not be surprised if wedding bells are in the future.”

“Oh?” Said Bard

“They seem besotted, but not in that honeymoon phase when young people first start dating, they’re in the part where it seems pretty permanent and long lasting. They appear to be spending all their free time at university together, so I guess they must know one another quite well by now. Though which of them would have the courage to ask the other, I’ve no idea.”

“Is Gimli shy then?”

“Oh heavens no!” laughed Thranduil “He’s upfront, boarish, has to physically stop himself from cursing - I’m assuming Legolas warned him about swearing in front of me - and regularly seems to refer to Legolas as a ‘Fairy Princess’. I’m not sure I can see him do something as romantic as proposing.”

“I don’t know.” said Bard, thoughtfully “People can surprise you. His proposal might not be romantic, but it could be just as good. I proposed to Kendra at a music festival using a hula-hoop from a crisp packet."

Thranduil raised an eyebrow “And yet she still said yes?”

Bard chuckled “Well, she ate it rather than wore it - but the answer was all the same. Don’t tell me, you proposed to Elenath under starlight in Paris whilst drinking Champagne?”

Thranduil coughed “It was Rome, actually.”

Bard laughed “See, I had you pegged as a romantic type. Was the ring in the champagne glass?”

Thranduil gave out an embarrassed laugh “Yes, yes it was. And she almost swallowed the thing! But I was 22 and an idiot.”

“We’re all idiots a 22, don’t worry about it.”

“Although, I have to admit Bard - Candle lit dinner over wine with a specially prepared menu? Are you sure you’re not a romantic idiot at heart?”

Bard scratched the back of his head “Well. I guessed that considering I was taking out someone I thought to be a romantic, that I should probably make the effort.” He dropped his gaze and stared into his wine glass.

“The effort is very much appreciated.” smiled Thranduil, reaching out to gently grasp Bard’s hand where it lay upon the table “It’s all very much appreciated.” he rubbed absent minded circles on his wrist as he gazed into Bard’s warm hazel eyes. He spotted a delightful blush spread across his face as he did so. Bard’s gaze flickered up from his wine glass at last and met his own ice blue eyes, and Thranduil felt his heart skip a beat as he gently licked his bottom lip. The moment was broken by an amused cough and the pair broke apart their gaze. Bard began to fiddle with his napkin whilst Thranduil suddenly found the silver cutlery intensely fascinating.

“Your starters are here.” smirked Bella as she placed two china plates in front of them, each with a beautiful design of oak leaves painted around the rim, with three acorns painted in the centre of the dish. “Halloumi, watermelon and mint salad.” She smiled “The watermelons were grown locally by my friend Hamfast and his boy. They’re much nicer and much fresher than any other ones you’ll find round here.”

Thranduil took an experimental bite of the watermelon and found it to be beautifully light, with a delicate flavour and very refreshing. He had no idea such things could be grown in the UK! “You’ll have to send me his address, so as I can buy some for myself in the future.”

“I shall do just that.” grinned Bella “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it then, eat up now.” and she bustled off to see to the rest of her customers.

“So how do you know Bella then?” asked Thranduil, taking another delicious bite of the salad and enjoying the contrast of the flavours of the Halloumi and the watermelon.

“We’ve known one another on and off for years. She used to work in her family restaraunt and we’d occasionally do deliveries there. After she ditched them to open up this place with her partner, she took us on as her regular company. Something about enjoying the company of handsome men shifting heavy boxes?” his eyes twinkled again

“How do you do that?” asked Thranduil an amazed look spreading across his face.

“Do what?” frowned Bard

“Make everyone like you.”

“I wouldn’t say I make everyone like me… I’ve been labeled a troublemaker most of my life.”

“But that’s just because you do good in this world, you’ve got values, proper unselfish values that you care enough to fight for. The people who think you’re causing trouble deserve trouble.”

“Well. I never really thought of it that way… Isn’t your job to do good as well though? You’re helping the environment!”

“Well, we try to. But we don’t exactly always succeed on that front. You can take a perfect plan to a client, but it doesn't mean the client will listen to you.”

“Is that why you come across as so…”

“As so, what?” said Thranduil, raising an eyebrow

“Well. Threatening. Scary. You know, like you’re constantly moments away from chopping someone’s head off with a sword.”

Thranduil chuckled at that “Well, I might enjoy fencing but I am pleased to say that I’ve never done that before.” he considered the rest of Bard’s question though over another bite of the salad “I've always been an assertive man. It will not surprise you to hear, no doubt, that my family has always been well off. I inherited this business from my father, and whilst I have redirected our priorities to be in favour of environmental contracts, we do still dabble in other types of consultancy."

He swirled his wine glass thoughtfully "My father was of the belief that a leader should be strong and sturdy, that they was the standings on which everything was built, and if they were to collapse then so would everything else. This means being harsh but fair when it comes to control. I find ruthlessness works well in business."

"But much less so in the real world." Berated Bard

"In some capacities yes. If your ruthlessness is damaging the health and  well being of those around you, then perhaps it is time to rethink your strategies."

"I tend to find that ruthlessness hurts more people than it helps no matter the context."

"One can be ruthless about many issues, Bard. You can ruthlessly seek to win a competition, ruthlessly seek to help your loved ones, ruthlessly drink wine." He smirked "Whilst it is not a quality to apply to all things, as I already said, it is still a skill I feel as though some could do with using more often."

"Oh aye? And who might that be?"

"To begin with, you." Thranduil smiled at Bard's disbelieving face "Yes, you Bard Bowman. You are brash and upfront about issues, protective of those you love, but if you were to concentrate on things a little harder, then think of all the good you could do! You could take that business away from Alfrid for one. Then you'd be earning more money to support your family, be able to provide better care for your fellow workers, and ensure better business because you haven't annoyed as many clients. Indeed, I hear you're very much loved by many of them." He gestured towards the front desk, where Frodo was making a big show and dance about not listening in to hide the fact that he was, indeed, listening in on their conversation.

Bard's incredulous stare continued "Has it occurred to you that maybe I don't want to run the business? That I don't want power and money and all that useless stuff? What I want is more time with my family. I want to make sure that Sigrid knows she can go to university if she wants to. I want to be there for Tilda's school plays and Bain's football matches. I want to be a father Thranduil. My kids are my number one priority. If I were to take over the business, we'd have more money but I'd barely see them."

"You worry about becoming like Legolas and myself?"

"Well, to be honest, yes. Yes I do."

"You could never be like me Bard, it's one of the things I like about you so much. Which is why I trust that if you were to take over Dale Deliveries, then you could make it work for everyone involved, including your children. Besides," added Thranduil, taking a deep drink from his glass "you've got me now, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you stay the man you've always been."

"You mean the one who challenges you on your shit and is the only one of us to have the courage to ask the other out on a date?"

"Well I wouldn't have put it like that." Smirked Thranduil "But yes."

Bard chuckled "To ruthlessly calling each other out on our shit." and raised his wine glass

"May we continue to do so for many years to come." Said Thranduil and the pair clinked glasses.

Bella came over then, carrying their main course with a smug smile on her face

"I hope you two are enjoying your evening. Frodo, come clear these plates away, I don't know what I'm going to do with you honestly." She tutted, taking away their empty salad plates whilst balancing their mains on one arm before deftly sliding them into place on their table.

"My mother's own recipe," she said proudly "wild chestnut and mushroom cottage pie. She always told me food was the way to a man's heart, and that this dish was the fastest way there" she gave Bard a wink and the man raised a hand to his face, muttering

"If we kill her do you think anyone would miss her?"

"If we kill her she won't give us pudding. Wait until after we've eaten." Said Thranduil wisely and eagerly began eating the cottage pie, letting out a deep groan at the combination of flavours in the dish, the mash being perfectly creamy and sweet from the carrots, the sauce being almost sinful and rich with flavour from the white wine.  "I cannot believe that such a good restaurant has been here all this time and I've never heard for it!"

"It's a bit of a local secret. It's too small to really get any big notice, and Bella doesn't bother advertising the place in the papers. Thorin kept wanting to expand, but Bella was adamant that it was to remain as homely and welcoming as possible, which meant keeping it small. She can be pretty hard to argue with sometimes.”

‘Don’t tell me, it was she who suggested that you bring me here?”

“Not you personally, but she has dropped many hints over the last year that if I ever decided to start dating again, that I should bring them here first. I made a promise, and I stick to my promises as best I can.”

“It seems as though everyone around you has been wanting you to start dating again.”

“You wouldn’t know the half of it. I think Kendra must have put them all up to it, she was adamant that I wouldn’t give up after she died. I think she just wanted me to be happy, and this was her solution.” a sad smile came over his face “After all these years, she’s still trying to make me happy.” He gave a slight cough before continuing

“I don’t really think this is the kind of thing you’re meant to talk about on dates though.”

“No, I don’t suppose so. After all, so far we’ve covered the love lives of our children, how we proposed to our wives, plans for your hostile takeover of Dale and now this.”

“Perhaps we should fall back on some old classics then? Attempt to lighten the mood?”

“Perhaps we should.”

“You look very handsome today, Thranduil.”

“What this old thing? I just threw it together.” he gave a fake high-pitched laugh and swished his hair back behind him “You are looking devilishly handsome yourself, may I ad.”

“Thank You, I’ll inform my stylist that you said so.” winked Bard

“So do you take all your dates to restaurants owned by family friends, or am I the acception?”

“Well of course. You’re a classy man, I can’t just take you to a Wimpy like the countless other men I’ve dated over the years.”

“Countless, aye?”

“Well, so long as you’re unable to count beyond the number two.”

The pair tried to stifle their laughter but failed quite miserably, causing the rest of the people in the restaurant to turn round and stare, and for Bella to clap her hands in excitement from her hiding place behind the counter.

“I think maybe we’re a little too old for that kind of talk.” said Bard, wiping a tear from his eye

“I think so too. Shall we agree to never talk like young people out of the movies ever again? For tonight at least?”

“Agreed.”   
  


The pair lapsed into a comfortable silence, broken up only by the sound of cutlery and the happy little noises Thranduil would make as he enjoyed his meal, which Bard found incredibly endearing.  

Once they were done, Frodo swept in to take away their plates with a smile. Shortly after he had disappeared back into the kitchen, Bella emerged carrying a large glass containing more ice cream and chocolate than Thranduil had seen in a very long time, possibly not since Legolas’ seventh birthday which had culminated in the boy throwing up in the loo due to his eyes being far bigger than his stomach.

Bella set the dish in the middle of the table and produced two long spoons for them.

“An ice-cream sundae to share, Bella, really? We’ve just discussed this, we’re not 16.”

“Nobody is too old for sharing an ice-cream, Bard. Are you really going to turn down my famous Misty Mountain Sundae? With it’s warm fudge brownies, hot dark chocolate sauce, homemade kirsch flavoured ice cream with honeycomb sprinkles and maltesers?”

“Well, no.” reasoned Bard, “But still, it didn’t need to be so big.”

“Oh Bard, it’s as if you don’t even know me.” she gave a wicked grin and left the pair of them to eat in what amounted to peace when you were being spied on from a far.

“I suppose we best dig in.” Smiled Thranduil picking up his spoon and diving in to take some of the cream from off the top. He could taste where the kirsch had been dripped into the cream, and was beginning to regret driving here himself. He didn’t think he’d have to pace himself with the ice cream.

“That woman certainly likes her alcohol.”

“You should try her christmas cake. It’s essentially 80% rum. The kids are banned from having any until they turn 16. It’s still a sore point on Bain’s behalf- but I do not want to have to deal with a 14 year-old drunk off of fruit cake. Not again.”

“There’s a story there.” Said Thranduil, “but I get the feeling I’m not going to be told it any time soon.”

“Save it for the next date perhaps.”

“So you’re thinking that there’ll be a next date?”

“We’ll have to see how the rest of dessert goes, but so far, it feels pretty likely. Yourself?”

“I don’t think I’ve had quite enough ice cream yet to answer that question.” said Thranduil as he took another spoonful of cream and slowly licked it off the spoon in the most obscene way he knew, causing Bard to make an undignified and adorable squeak.

Not being one to shy away from a challenge, Bard picked up his spoon and followed suit, with his eyes locked on Thranduil’s, he scooped up a large amount of cream onto his spoon before swiping it off with his index finger and slowly sucked it off.

This of course, meant war.

Bella watched from her vantage point behind the counter (oh the blessings of being short!) and saw the whole thing arise. Thranduil had held out his spoon for Bard to have the last piece of fudge and saw sexual tension thick enough to scoop into serving bowls and hand out to the rest of her guests. How the pair of them were keeping it together she did not know.

“Oh come on you two.” she whispered impatiently, “Just kiss already.” She could almost hear Thorin’s voice in her head just then, telling her to not be so damn interfering and to let them both be. She’d have ignored xyr when xe was alive, and she’d ignore xyr now xe was dead. What did xe know about anything anyway? She’d had to practically wear a sign saying I THINK YOU’RE HOT AND WE SHOULD TOTALLY DATE NOW JUST KISS ME before xe got the message and asked her out.

Frodo came to kneel beside her on the floor “Is it working then Aunt?”

“Frodo my lad, my ice cream always works. Mark my words, tonight there will be kissing.”

“Looks like more than that to me.” said Frodo, raising an eyebrow “Are you sure this was a wise plan?”

“All my plans are wise plans.”

“What about that time you ran off to America, with barely 24 hours notice?”

“Thorin was quite persuasive.”

“You’d known xe all of 48 hours!”

“Xe was also a very attractive person with an excellent singing voice. Don’t worry my lad, you’ll understand when you’re old enough.”

Frodo threw a glance at the pair at the table, who were playing quite an obvious game of footsie now. “If you say so.”

The ice cream began to melt faster than the two of them could eat, so what started off as some gratuitous flirting soon ended up in a battle to see who could get the last maltesers from the bottom of the glass, spoons used more as fencing equipment than anything else. The pair were smiling and laughing without a care in the world.

With a triumphant shout, Bard finally fought thranduil off and plucked the last malteser from his spoon and popped it in his mouth, a smug grin on his face.

“You’ll pay for that one, Bowman.” Said Thranduil, menacingly

“Oh will I?”

“Yes, yes you will.” said Thranduil glaring at Bard from across the table as Frodo quickly and swiftly took the bowl away without either of them noticing.

“And how do you propose to go about that?” he breathed, licking his lips

“I had a few ideas.” smiled Thranduil, leaning in closer across the table.

Bard leant forward to meet him, they were so close now and Bard didn’t care. Didn’t care that they were in the middle of a public restaurant, didn’t care that Bella was watching them or that there was a good chance this was just the alcohol talking. He wanted this. He wanted to feel the warmth of Thranduil’s mouth against his, feel that human connection he’d been missing for so long now.

Thranduil paused just before he bent close to press that final inch and take Bard’s mouth in his. Bard was breathing heavily and he could smell the scent of the cream, kirsch and chocolate on his breath, hidden amongst his own natural earthy musk. He’d been wanting to do this for so long now, had been needing to for even longer. As he closed his eyes and tilted his head, he thought he could hear the Hallelujah Chorus playing in the background.

He stopped.

That was the Hallelujah Chorus playing in the background.

Thranduil could also hear his phone vibrating from within his pocket and let out a “Shit.” and debated the benefits of ignoring the call (which was likely to be important given the strict orders he’d given everyone he knew about calling him tonight) and just kissing Bard anyway.

Bard answered his dilemma for him by leaning back into his seat and giving an awkward cough “You should probably get that. Might be important.”

Thranduil bowed his head forward and let out a sigh. “Yeah, probably. Hold that thought though.” he smiled and reached into his pocket, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

“Thranduil Greenleaf. What do you want?”

“Father, it’s me, it’s Legolas,”

It was Bard’s turn for his phone to go off, the nokia theme tune making several of the guests turn round to check their own phones.

“What is it Legolas?” asked Thranduil, a combination of worried and annoyed, he knew that Legolas wouldn’t want anything to disturb them, but equally he wouldn’t put it past Gimli to put this on as a practical joke.

“It’s Tauriel Father, she’s going into labour.”

“Into labour!” Bard cried into his own phone.

The pair looked at one another, seeing their own expression mirrored in the other’s, a look of excitement, bafflement and good humour.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can.” Smilled Thranduil, hanging up.

“I’ll swing by to pick you up and then we can go and see her.”

The pair looked at one another.

“We’re about to become Grandparents” Smiled Bard

“Our Grandchildren seem to have perfect timing.” laughed Thranduil

“That they do. Bella!” called Bard “I know you’re behind that counter, can we have the bill please? Tauriel is in labour and we’d quite like to be there for the birth.”

Bella slowly peeked out from behind the counter with a sheepish expression, her nephew following behind her looking amused.  

“No bill. It’s on the house. Least I can do.” she sighed “Go and be with your families. Hop to it.”

The pair of them called out their thanks as they rushed out of the restaurant laughing as they did so.

“They were so close!” whined Bella, turning to her nephew

“There there Aunt, I’m sure all will be okay. Come and have some tea in the back.”

“They were going to kiss you know.”

“Yes Aunt, but it’s probably for the best. There are children present you know.”

“You’re the child.” she grumbled as she was lead out of the dining area and into the staff room

“Yes yes Aunt, I know. There’s always next time.” he smiled as he flicked the kettle into life.

“You’re right my boy.” she sighed, putting her feet up on the sofa “As you so often are. The night is still young though, and nothing gets the emotions going like a birth!”

 **  
** “I’m sure you’re quite right Aunt.” said Frodo handing his beloved, deranged and eccentric aunt a hot cup of tea- prepared just the way she liked. “I’m sure you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised someone an almost kiss. I keep my promises. 
> 
> Thranduil has his phone set to the Hallelujah Chorus because he is a Drama Queen who thinks hearing from his Son is one of the best things ever and wants his phone to celebrate that. 
> 
> For those who might not know it by name, the Hallelujah chorus is the song you imagine when you see something incredible and amazing happening before your eyes. Also knows as this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usfiAsWR4qU
> 
> It's horrifically cheesy and over the top I know, but I'm a complete Sap. Seriously, I was watching Young Victoria for the hundredth time last night and I was still a squealing sobbing mess throughout ^^;
> 
> Constructive Crit always welcome =)


	11. One Big Happy Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The puppies are here, and so is everyone else!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for now. I might come back to visit some of these characters again, but for now thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this last instalment =)
> 
> Major thanks go to East_Wind for continuing to be my Beta throughout this, you are absolutely awesome, thank you so much <3

Legolas and Gimli had been snuggling on the sofa in front of the telly when Legolas first began to suspect something was up. After his father had left, they’d spent the evening playing fetch with Tauriel in the spacious living room, rolling a ratty old tennis ball across the polished floor and watching as the excitable belgian shepherd waddle after it as fast as she could. The ball had rolled out into the hallway though, and she’d gone to get it but not returned.

 

Legolas hadn’t been too concerned at first, Tauriel was a very independent dog and he’d just assumed she had found a way to amuse herself. However, he’d not heard anything from her in over half an hour, and so unfolded himself from Gimli’s embrace and went in search of her.

 

“Tauriel!” he called “Tauriel where are you Girl?”

 

He padded into the kitchen where they’d set up her nest in preparation for the birth next week. Perhaps she was trying to prepare it by filling it with the things she loved? Or just getting the blankets the way she liked them?

 

Indeed, she was sitting in her nest, but instead of snuffling about in the blankets, she was nestled on top of them and panting heavily, making tiny whining noises. Legolas knelt down to give her a stroke and noted that she was shivering.

 

“She alright?” asked Gimli, coming up from behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I don’t know.” said Legolas pensively, “She seemed alright earlier but now- I mean she’s not due until next week but this is looking an awful lot like she’s going into labour…”

 

“Can’t be too uncommon for pups to arrive early though.” frowned Gimli “Do ya know exactly when her and Kíli, you know, fucked?”

 

“Pleasant as always Gimli. No, I don’t. So I guess we could have gotten the dates wrong?”

 

“You got the number of the vet?”

 

“Arwen? Yeah I’ve got her mobile but it’s pretty late I wouldn’t want to disturb her and Aragorn…”

 

Gimli rolled his eyes and dived into the pocket of his boyfriend’s jeans and pulled out Legolas’ mobile, getting up Arwen’s number and handing the phone to him.

 

“Give her a call. It’s her damn job. She won’t mind doing it.”

 

Legolas gave a sigh and clicked the call button. It rang for longer than he’d been expecting but eventually someone picked up the phone.

 

“Hellooooo, Arwen’s phone, her rugged and manly husband speaking, sorry she can’t talk right now but she’s, ah, a bit tied up at the moment.”

 

“Err, Aragorn? It’s Legolas here?”

 

Legolas heard a fumbling on the other end and a dull thud as though the phone had been quickly dropped on the floor.

 

“Legolas! Sorry I um, I’ll pass you over.” there was a moment’s pause and Legolas turned to Gimli to give him an incredulous look.

 

“I think we might have interrupted them.” he grimaced.

 

“Hello Legolas.” said Arwen panting slightly “what can I do for you?”

 

“We think Tauriel is in labour but we’re not certain.”

 

“In labour? What makes you think that?”

 

“She was fine half an hour ago, if perhaps a little restless, but now she’s just sitting in her nest panting and shivering.”

 

“Sounds possible. Has she got any discharge coming out of her vulva?”

 

Legolas couldn’t help but blush at that, Tauriel was the closest thing he had to a sister, after all. Gimli was listening in though, and rolled his eyes

 

“Bloody ponce.” he muttered and gently lifted Tauriel’s leg to examine her. There was indeed a clear fluid present.

 

“Yes.” said Legolas, a note of panic in his voice.

 

“Sounds like she’ll be giving birth soon enough then.”

 

Legolas threw a frantic look at Gimli, who began to rub soothing circles on Legolas’ back just as Legolas began to rub them on Tauriel’s.

 

“But she’s not due for another week!” he squeaked

 

“Well, it was a guess as much as anything Legolas, it’s not an exact science. She’ll be alright, trust in her instincts and call me if any problems arise.”

 

“Ok, thanks Arwen. Goodnight. I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing.”

 

“Whoever you were doing.” muttered Gimli, earning an elbow to the ribs for his remark.

 

“Do you think we should call Father to let him know what’s happening?”

 

“Do ya think he’d want to be here?”

 

“Well, he’s become quite close to Tauriel over the past couple of months, I think he’d want to be?”

 

“More than he’d want to be with Bard?” said Gimli, his eyes twinkling.

 

Legolas sighed “I’ll call him, you text Sigrid, Bard’s daughter, let her know what’s going on.” he handed Giml the number from his pocket which Thranduil had left in case of emergency and returned his attentions to Tauriel.

 

“There there Girl” he said soothingly “You can do this, you’ll be alright.”

 

The dog let out a gentle whine and licked his hand, her tail thumping.

 

*

 

It had been quite the effort to get Tilda into her pyjamas and into bed, but at last she was asleep. Sigrid had let her stay up a little past her bedtime due to the sheer novelty of having someone new to talk to, and also so as Fliss could finish up her braids.

 

“Now traditionally, we’d add beads into some of them like I have in mine.” she smiled, allowing Tilda to touch the ones in her hair “But we haven’t got the right ones here, and besides, you need to earn each bead you get.”

 

“How did you earn yours?” asked the girl curiously

 

“Well, some are just an age thing, so these beads” She indicated to the ones tied into the braid on the side of her head “say I’m over eighteen, and I’ll get a different set when I’m 21.” she smiled “The others represent different achievements and the like. If you know what you can tell a lot about someone from Dwarrow stock based on their hair.” she smiled

 

“Will Sigrid get special braids when she marries you?”

 

Sigrid spit her tea back into her mug and Fliss laughed openly at her

 

“There are, indeed, beads and braids for marriage yes.”

 

“Come on you. Bed.” growled her Sister.

 

“But Siggy…”

 

“No. You’ve already stayed up past your bedtime. Now go put your pyjamas on and I’ll come up to say goodnight.”

 

“But…”

 

“Bed!”

 

Tilda huffed and turned to give Fliss a hug

 

“Night Night Fliss” she smiled “Can you come around next weekend as well?”

 

“We'll see Tyke.” she said ruffling her hair

 

The girl beamed up at her and turned round to glare at Sigrid as she stomped off up the stairs.

 

Sigrid flopped back down onto the sofa

 

“I swear ever since Angie got to be a bridesmaid at her cousin's wedding, all she’s been on about is trying to get people married so as she can be one as well!”

 

“Surely you remember what it was like to be her age? Weddings are a big deal, they’re massive parties and kids get to wear pretty dresses and throw flowers. Plus there’s cake. Everyone loves cake.” she nodded wisely.

 

“Yes well, I’d just like it if she wasn’t so insistent about me getting married.” she met Fliss’ eye and immediately looked away “Not that, I’m opposed to the idea, but um, I’m 18 so I mean, it’s not-”

 

“On the table yet. Yes. Agreed.” Nodded Fliss, “But she’ll have your dad and- what was his name again?”

 

“Thranduil.”

 

“Yeah, him, to deal with soon enough. It would not surprise me if they were her next targets.”

 

“Nor I.” laughed Sigrid.

 

Now that Tilda had gone to bed and Bain had slouched off to his room in disgust at all the ‘girly shit’ happening, it was the dogs turn for some attention from their guest.

 

Fíli seemed incredibly friendly towards Fliss, especially considering he’d only just met her. It was as if they had a prearranged understanding between each other, and so he was perfectly happy to be picked up off the floor and hugged whilst Kíli attempted to jump up onto the sofa for his own cuddles.

 

“Honestly. Fíli likes, you, Tilda loves you, Bain has said more than 5 polite words to you and you made my Da laugh- I’m starting to worry that I’ve done this whole Teenage Rebellion thing wrong.”

 

“You mean dating a girl older than you who rides a motorbike and doing at art course was all part of some big plan of yours to annoy your family? Well now I’m the one who’s been insulted.”

 

“Ha! I’m the one who should be insulted. There I was, looking for some simple fun with a biker chick and I ended up falling head over heels for her. I feel like Sandy.” she smirked

 

“That would make be Danny which I’m not sure I approve of.” her girlfriend smirked

 

“Fair point.” she smiled “I always hated the end of that film anyway.”

 

“The bit where Sandy was in those tight leather trousers wasn’t too bad. You don’t have a pair of those hanging about do you?”

 

“You’ll have to wait and see.” grinned Sigrid as she leant over to kiss her girlfriend as soundly as possible.

 

“Ewwwwwww” cried Bain from the door “What is it with you two? You’re worse than Sam and Rosie at school.”

 

“Have you heard of knocking?” asked his irate sister

 

“It’s communal space. I shouldn’t have to knock.”

 

“What do you want Bain?”

 

“Do I need a reason to sit in the living room now?”

 

Sigrid let out a groan and threw her head back against her sofa cushions. Just then her phone buzzed, and she picked it up to see she’d got a text from an unknown number.

 

Strange, she thought, most companies nowadays have an automated name for spam texts. She opened it up cautiously

 

Tauriel Going into Labour. Pups here in 2 hours probz. Call ur Dad. Legolas

 

Sigrid squeaked excitedly and gave Kíli a big hug “Kíli you’re about to become a dad!” she cried and everyone in the room turned to look at her

 

“The puppies are coming?” asked Bain excitedly

 

“Oh wow! Hear that Fíli? You’re going to be an Uncle!” said Fliss hugging her favourite pooch.

 

Neither dog had a clue what was going on, but they responded enthusiastically to the excitement anyway.

 

“Hush. Got to call Da.” she hurried to bring up his number “Da! Da it’s me Sigrid, Tauriel’s in labour!” she nodded enthusiastically “Awesome, I’ll see you in twenty minutes then.” she turned to face the other people in the room “Da’s going to swing by in the car to pick us all up, and then we’re going to go to Thranduil’s for the birth! Just like he promised!” she clapped her hands excitedly.

 

“Someone should probably go and wake up Tilda.” added Fliss but just then, a small hurricane burst into the room decked out in Frozen Pyjamas

 

“TAURIEL IS HAVING THE PUPPIES!” cried the hurricane

 

“I thought you were asleep.” said her sister raising an eyebrow

 

“Who can sleep when there are PUPPIES coming!” and she jumped up and down excitedly

 

“She’s got you there Sig,” smiled Fliss.

 

*

 

Thranduil said a fairly rushed goodbye to Bard, explaining that he was to come to their house as soon as he’d picked up the kids, and then flung himself into his car. Luckily, he had paced himself well enough throughout the meal so as he was still within his legal limits to drive, although the alcoholic ice cream had momentarily phased him.

 

"I'll see you in a bit!" Called Bard as he headed off for his own car, "And we can continue what we started."

 

Thranduil was very grateful that he was facing away from Bard because if the rear view mirror was anything to go by, he was looking pinker than the watermelon they'd had earlier.

 

It didn't take long for Thranduil to get back to the house, not bothering to fumble with his keys and just rang the doorbell instead. There were loud footsteps and Gimli opened the door, looking as though he'd been making himself at home.

 

"Where is she?" Asked Thranduil, rushing inside

 

"In her nest in the kitchen. Nothing exciting happening just yet though." Shrugged Gimli

 

"Is she alright though?"

 

"Legolas says so. He's with her now, acting like the nervous mother."

 

"Well, she is family Gimli. I thought you said family was one of the most important things to you?"

 

"It is. But she's still a pet." Thranduil threw him a dirty look

 

"She's family, Gimli. She's been there for him far more often than I have, and is one of the most important beings in his life." He'd almost said people. When did Tauriel go from being a nuisance animal to being an actual person in his eyes?

 

"Yeah. I'd heard as much." Gimli glared but didn't expand upon his sentence. He didn't really need to, the implication was clear. Tauriel should have been a pet, a companion a beloved member of the family but still recognised as such- instead, Thranduil's emotional neglect of his son lead to her becoming so much more to him than perhaps was healthy. Still. He couldn't change any of that now. She was family, that's all he knew, and he'd defend that fact to the hilt.

 

Thranduil didn't say any of this out loud though, and flounced into the Kitchen to see how the pair of them were doing. Tauriel was indeed in her nest, looking far worse for wear than he'd ever seen her- but still maintaining a happy composure as Legolas gently petted her.

 

"How is she fairing?" He asked

 

Legolas didn’t look up from where he was sat on the floor, stroking Tauriel's neck and scratching behind her ears. "She's doing well. According to Dr Evenstar we should be looking for the first pups to start arriving soon." There was a tinge of nerves in his voice, most pregnancies were straightforward, but there was always things that could go wrong? He couldn't bare to loose her, not after all they'd been through together...

 

Thranduil dusted the floor slightly before taking a watchful seat next to his son.

 

“I’m sure she’ll be fine Son.”

 

“You can’t guarantee that.” Legolas snapped.

 

“No.” He said calmly “But Dr Evenstar has not given us any cause for alarm thus far, and though she is quite young, I do trust her, as I know do you.”

 

Legolas gave a murmur of agreement.

 

“Sorry for calling you during your date, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

 

Thranduil gave out a small squeak, which he tried to cover with a cough “No. No. Nothing important we were just finishing desert. How, how were things with Gimli?”

 

Legolas finally tore his eyes away from Tauriel and frowned at his father “Fine. We spent the evening playing with Tauriel.” his frown deepened “Did I interrupt something?”

 

Before Thranduil could say anything else, the doorbell rang and he quickly made his excuses.

 

“I think I did interrupt something, ay Girl?” smirked Legolas patting his friend. She gave another small whine but her eyes sparkled with the same mischievousness she’d had when she herself was a pup.

 

As Thranduil expected, it was Bard and his family at the door.

 

“Nice to see you again Thranduil.” Smiled Bard, as Thranduil opened the door to let them all in.

 

“Hello Mr Fran-Doodle! Are the puppies here yet?” cried an excitable Tilda, jumping up and down.

 

“No they haven’t. Not yet, anyway. I’m sure they’ll be along soon enough.”

 

Tilda let out a loud whine “But Sigrid said they’d be here by now!”

 

“Shhh Tilda” soothed her father “Tauriel won’t like loud noises at the moment. Why don’t you go and wait in the living room? It’s just on the left there.” said Bard pointing “Assuming that’s alright with you?” He asked turning to Thranduil.

 

“Of course. My son’s boyfriend, Gimli, is in there at the minute, but I’m sure he won’t mind the company.”

 

Tilda’s eyes seemed to gleam with excitement “Another one!” she whispered and raced off down the hall, Bain following behind her, telling her to slow down.

 

Thranduil turned to look at the rest of those assembled in the doorway, Sigrid he recognised as he did the two dogs wrestling to be put down from where they were being held, but the third girl he couldn’t place.

 

“Sorry Thranduil.” said Sigrid, nodding towards the wiggling Kíli in her arms “We didn’t want to leave them alone for the night, and we didn’t think you’d mind too much… we can keep them in the car if you’d prefer?”

 

“No no, by all means, release the hounds.” Sigrid smiled and popped Kíli down on the floor. He promptly ran off towards the kitchen where he could no doubt smell his mate in her hour of need.

 

The girl who was with them popped her own charge down who began to snuffle about on the floor, exploring all the new scents that a larger, cleaner, house had to offer.

 

“Hello Mr Greenleaf, I’m Felicity. Sigrid’s girlfriend. Sorry for interrupting you like this, but Tilda insisted I come…”

 

“Not a problem at all Miss Felicity, please, call me Thranduil.” He said offering her his hand, which she took in a firm grip.

 

Impressive he thought. The girl might be short but she was clearly as strong as an Ox. She reminded him faintly of Gimli, but that was probably down to her height, or lack there of, more than anything else.

 

 

“Where’s Tauriel?” asked Sigrid, looking at where Kíli had rushed off to “Can we see her, is she okay?”

 

“She’s with Legolas at the moment. I wouldn’t want to over stimulate her at this time. He knows her better than anyone, she’s in safe hands. Please, follow me to the living room” and he guided them into the plush room where Bard and himself had spent many a pleasant evening over the past few weeks.

 

“Legolas. Ha, that’s funny. My cousin’s boyfriend is called Legolas. Didn’t think it was that common a name, clearly I was wrong. Oh.” Said Felicity, upon entering the room. “Gimli, what are you doing here?”

 

“Fliss?” said her bemused cousin “What are you doing here?”

 

“I asked first.” She said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

 

“I’m visiting my boyfriend, in my boyfriend’s house, whilst my boyfriend’s dog gives birth. What are you doing here?”

 

“Visiting my girlfriend and my girlfriend’s family whilst they wait upon news of my girlfriend’s dog’s puppies.” She smiled.

 

“Oh. So this is the illusive Sigrid you keep talking non stop about!” Gimli’s eyes shone with excitement as he dislodged himself from the crowded sofa and made his way over to shake Sigrid’s hand “Gimli Durinson, Fliss’s cousin, at your service.” He smiled

 

“Sigrid Bowman, at yours, I guess…” she stammered slightly, having not expected to be meeting her girlfriend’s extended family tonight of all nights.

 

“So, let me get this straight.” Said Bain, sitting up in one of the armchairs nearest the TV “Fliss is my sister’s girlfriend, yeah?”

 

“Correct.” Said Sigrid, raising an eyebrow

 

“Yeah, and you’re Fliss’ cousin, right?”

 

“Correct.” Nodded Gimli

 

“And you’re dating Thranduil’s Son.”

 

“Correct again.”

 

“And Thranduil is dating my dad, who is Sigrid’s dad as well?”

 

Bard and Thranduil shared an apprehensive look, well, they were officially dating now. After all, they’d already been on one date, and there was a good chance that this might count as a second one. It was probably about time they got used to the word.

 

“Isn’t that all a bit weird though? Like, some sort of Shakespeare play? Like in Midsummer’s when they all end up dating different people and everything gets a bit nuts until the very end where everyone sorts things out and there’s a big wedding or whatever.”

 

Everyone turned to stare at Bain then, not expecting any sort of metaphor regarding Shakespeare, no matter how poorly constructed or reasoned, to come from his lips.

 

“What?” he said, gazing round at the room

 

“Shakespeare?” prompted Sigrid

 

“What! You’re the one always telling me to do my homework! Don’t complain when I actually do it.”

 

“I’m not complaining, I’m- I’m impressed.” She nodded “Well done Bain.”

 

Bain gave out a huff and folded his arms to turn away from his sister, but it was still quite plainly obvious to the rest of them, even Tilda, that he was pleased at this praise from his big sister.

 

“I’m going to assume our Big Wedding will be the birth of the pups then?” smiled Sigrid

 

“Ever the romantic you are.” Chuckled Fliss, pulling Sigrid towards her to hold her against her side.

 

“Not unless Thranduil and Bard get hitched.” Smirked Gimli, causing the pair in question to splutter and cough, and Tilda to turn around to gaze longingly at the pair of them as the room burst into another fit of giggles.

 

“Not if you and Legolas don’t tie the knot first Gims” said Fliss, coming to the defence of her girlfriend’s dad.

 

It was Gimli’s turn to splutter as Bard and Thranduil gave each other a look, remembering their earlier conversation and were forced to hide their giggles behind their hands. It would not do to tease the lad too much, someone here had to behave like an adult.

 

Just then, a panicked looking Legolas rushed into the room

 

“Here comes the bride.” Muttered Fliss, causing the whole room to burst into laughter again,

 

“What?” said Legolas, looking around confused, “Fliss, what are you doing here?”

 

“We’ve been through this already, ‘Las.” Sighed Gimli

 

“Legolas, this is my girlfriend, Sigrid.” Said Fliss, helpfully

 

“Hello.” Waved Sigrid

 

“Legolas, this is Sigrid’s dad, Bard, the man who is meant to be wining and dining your father tonight, were it not for your dogs’ puppies’ poor timing.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you at long last.” Said Bard, standing up to shake his hand, Legolas looking rather shell shocked at the whole thing.

 

“Right.” He said, blindly taking the offered hand “So you’re the man Father’s been talking about all this time?”

 

“Well I certainly hope so.” Laughed Bard letting go of Legolas’ hand.

 

“Right. Okay. A bit weird, all of this family connection stuff.”

 

“Very Shakespeare.” Said Thranduil, nodding, and everyone began laughing again, save for the boy in his father’s favourite armchair who looked rather murderous.

 

“Okay… anyway, I erm, just came over to tell you the first puppy is arriving.”

 

The youngest girl, who Legolas took to be the Tilda he’d heard so much about, leapt to her feet “Oh can I see them can I seem them? Can I watch?" she asked bouncing about.

 

“Oh. I’m, not sure that would be wise…”

 

Tilda pouted and gave him some of the best Puppy Dog Eyes he’d seen in years.

 

“Well, so long as you’re quiet…”

 

“Promise!” she whispered and followed him back into the kitchen.

 

In Legolas' absence, the puppy had come out entirely. Tauriel was busy biting off the umbilical cord and popping the bubble that surrounded it, allowing it to breath freely. The pup slowly crawled towards its mother’s belly and began to nose around for a teat.

 

“Awwwwh!” cooed Tilda kneeling down to take a closer look,

 

“Don’t touch.” Said Legolas, placing a hand on her arm as she reached out to do just that “You don’t want Tauriel to reject the pup.”

 

“Why would she do that?” asked Tilda, fear and shock clear in her voice “Tauriel’s  not like that, she wouldn’t do that? Why would you say that?”

 

Legolas looked at her carefully, he hadn’t meant to upset the girl… he’d never had any siblings of his own, and it was a long time since he’d had anything to do with children of any age.

 

“If you touch the puppy, you’d change its smell, she might not think it was hers, and wouldn’t want to feed it.” He said carefully, “Best to leave them for now, so as they can bond properly.”

 

Tilda nodded in understanding, but still looked on in concern as Tauriel began to lick the puppy clean of any fluid. Kíli was sitting next to her nest, allowing her space but also sniffing excitedly at his new child. The dog gave out a yap and gently licked Tauriel’s face as he lay down to stare eye to eye with the puppy.

 

Legolas smiled fondly at the pair of them. They were incredibly cute together. If Tauriel had to pick a mate on her own, without his prior planning or consent, well, she could have done a lot worse for herself. Even if he was an Elkhound Mongrel.

 

The newly born pup began to mewl at its mother’s attentions and rolled onto its stomach. Legolas couldn’t help but join Tilda in another round of “awwwhs” as Kíli helped to nudge the pup closer to its mother.

 

Nothing much happened for ten minutes, save for the puppy’s mewling to get louder and more confident. Tauriel began to get restless again, and Legolas noted how Kíli would expertly move the puppy out of harms way whenever Tauriel began to fidget too closely to the poor thing.

 

“Look!” Said Tilda excitedly “Another one’s coming! Ewww that is so disgusting!” she said in an awed voice.

 

Soon enough, another pup was coming into life just as the first had. Whilst the first pup was brown like its father, this one had a decidedly more ginger tone to its fur, much more like Tauriel's. It was hard to tell what elements the pups had inherited from which parent at this moment, as one newly born puppy looked an awful lot like another newly born pup, but Legolas was pleased to note that they did seem to be taking on traits from both their parents.

 

Tilda watched, mouth wide opened, as Tauriel began to lick this one clean of fluid as well. “Why don’t you go tell them that there’s another puppy?” asked Legolas, indicating back towards the main room. Tilda ran off excitedly and Legolas could hear the girl telling everyone the news.

 

A dog Legolas didn’t know arrived at his side now and sat next to him, tail wagging as it proudly looked on. Legolas noted that the tag on its collar read ‘Fíli’ and took him to be Kíli’s brother or some such relation.

 

“Congratulations on being an uncle.” He said, reaching out the stroke the dog. It turned to him and gave a large smile, tongue lolling out of his mouth and giving him a large lick which had Legolas laughing. It had been a long time since there’s been this many dogs in his house, and he rather liked it this way.

 

Tilda came back in the room then, accompanied by her sister and brother.

 

“Sorry.” Whispered the eldest “I know we shouldn’t but I just wanted to have a quick peek.” She said, kneeling down behind Fíli and biting her lip.

 

“Awwwh those are adorable.” Cooed the boy, “Tilda, Siggy, look at their little paws!” the three of them turned to stare at Bain and he coughed “I mean. They look, they look like tough dogs. You know. Fighting dogs."

 

“Bain.” Said Sigrid fondly “It’s okay to find puppies cute. You don’t have to try and be macho about it.”

 

“She’s right you know” smiled Legolas “Nothing unmanly about cooing over tiny puppy paws. Wait till Gimli takes a look at them, he’ll be a blubbering mess, mark my words.”

 

The four of them giggled and watched on fondly as the puppies wriggled about and mewled to one another. There was something captivating about watching these new lives interact with their world for the first time, even though neither were yet to open their eyes, the new senses and sensations must have been quite overwhelming for them.

 

It took time, but slowly a third and then a fourth were born and by about 11pm Tauriel was settling down for a well deserved rest as their father took over the role of licking them clean. The puppies began to nestle towards Tauriel’s teats for a much needed drink, each pup blindly lapping at the milk.

 

The rest of the family had joined them by now, as they all looked upon the new additions to their clan. Sure enough, Gimli was wiping back tears as he sat at the breakfast bar, hugging Legolas close to his side.

 

“They’re just so bloody cute.” He murmured “Bloody bastards making me cry with their little wee paws and their little wee tails.”

 

Tilda and Bain sat cross-legged on the floor, Fíli sitting between Bain’s legs as they watched Kíli curl himself around Tauriel at long last and join her in a nap. Sigrid was dosing, propped up in Fliss’ embrace against the counter whilst Bard and Thranduil looked on peacefully from the doorway, mugs of coffee in hand.

 

“Look at our new family.” Smiled Bard “Who knew such small things could cause so much trouble?”

 

“Indeed. If it weren’t for those two becoming parents, we might never have met. And if we’d never have met, I don’t think I’d ever have been able to have this relationship with my son again. I’ve got a lot to thank you for as well.”

 

Thranduil gazed fondly at Bard and leant towards him, stopping himself before he got too close and chose to lean against the doorframe instead.

 

Bard caught what he was doing and gave him a cheeky smile “Should we perhaps finish what we started earlier before we were so rudely interrupted?” he said, stroking a loose bit of blonde hair behind Thranduil’s ear.

 

“I would not be opposed to that suggestion in the slightest.” He smiled and took Bard’s hand and lead him into the now empty living room.

 

Gimli and Fliss shared a knowing look, but purposefully chose not to inform their partners about what was about to happen. Gimli wasn’t sure what Legolas’ take on the matter would be, and Fliss was too well aware of the folly of waking the dragon to attempt to rouse Sigrid from her slumber.

 

Bard grinned as Thranduil lead him further into the living room and away from the sight of the door. “Don’t want the kids watching now do we?” he purred as Bard wrapped his arms around Thranduil’s waist.

 

There was no pre-text this time, they both knew what they wanted, both knew that the other was more than willing to give it back in return. Still, neither had kissed another person in quite some time, the last being women they’d loved with all their being and who still held a place in their hearts that could never be ousted.

 

But as Bard had said, there was space for new love there, and they both knew that their wives would be in full support of this. Slowly, tentatively, they moved their heads closer together, slowly turning them and closing their eyes to take in the new sensations more acutely.

 

Bard was the one to make the final move and brushed his lips lightly against Thranduil’s, he made to pull away but Thranduil’s hands travelled up to entwine themselves in Bard’s hair and he pulled him closer again with a needy moan. Thranduil captured Bard’s bottom lip between his own and sucked gently as Bard reciprocated and a rhythm occurred between them, slow and passionate.

 

Thranduil let out an intake of breath as Bard drew his body nearer to him and took the opportunity to slide his tongue across Thranduil’s lower lip. Soon the pair of them felt like teenagers again, tongues sliding across one another with no coordination as their teeth clacked against each other in their haste to just be closer together, just to feel the warmth of another person on their skin in such an intimate-

 

“DA DA DA! MR FRAN-DOODLE!! THERE’S ANOTH-” there was a sharp intake of excited breath and the pair of them quickly pushed the other apart and leaped away.

 

“Tilda!” cried Bard, trying his best not to blush “What-What do you, want, Cariad?” he began to subtly smooth down his shirt as Tilda gaped at him and Thranduil.

 

How much had the girl seen?  

 

She’d been too young to remember the time she’d walked in on him and Kendra, but this, this she was likely to remember…

 

“Miss Tilda,” said Thranduil in a rather high pitched voice as he tried to subtly comb out the tangles from his usually silky smooth appearance. “Is there a problem.”

 

There was a beat as the girls eyes grew wider and wider and the adults stared down at her apprehensively.

 

“Best. Day. EVER!” she cried and hopping up and down and waving her fists in the air. “I get FIVE puppies when I was told there would only be four, and I get to meet Fliss and Sigrid who might get married, and then I meet Legolas and Gimli who are probably going to get married and let me be a bridesmaid and now I get all that plus FIVE puppies AND A NEW DAD!” she shrieked and ran over to give Thranduil a massive hug that nearly knocked the wind out of him.

 

Soon enough, there was the stampede of footsteps as the rest of the family rushed in to take in the new picture, of a rather bedraggled looking Bard and Thranduil, still pink lipped and rosy cheeked from their previous escapades with a giggling Tilda gripping tightly to Thranduil’s legs.

 

“What’s happened?” asked Bain, being slightly slower on the uptake than the adults.

 

“Well.” Said his father carefully “I think Thranduil and I would agree that we are now, as you kids might put it, er.”

 

“Boyfriends.” Said Thranduil nodding slowly and patting Tilda on the back “Not husbands. Boyfriends.”

 

“Excellent.” Yawned Sigrid as she rested her head on Fliss’ “I just won twenty quid in the Grey Hound’s betting pool.”

 

“Sweet.” Smiled her girlfriend, raising a hand for a high five.

 

Tilda ignored them all and hugged Thranduil closer “Do you want to be Dad or Daddy or Father or…”

 

“Enough now Tilda” said Bard through gritted teeth “Why don’t you go and take your Dad’s new boyfriend, not husband, and take him to see the new puppy?”

 

Tilda nodded excitedly and took a hold of Thranduil’s hand and led him back to the kitchen

 

“Come on Father, it’s really cute but smaller than the other and it’s fur is all blonde like Fíli’s the others are ginger and brown like their parents but this one is blonde and it’s probably going to be my favourite because I like blonde hair just like yours-”

 

her voice trailed off as she got further into the kitchen and away from Bard’s ear shot.

 

“None of you are ever going to let us live this down, are you?”

 

“No, probably not.” Smiled Fliss “But from what Mum’s told me, that’s what family is for.”

 

Sigrid murmured in agreement and lead her girlfriend back into the kitchen,

 

“I’m glad you make my father happy.” Said Legolas simply, giving Bard an appeasing smile “But perhaps a sock on the door might be a better idea next time.”

 

Bard couldn’t tell if the lad was joking or not as he went back into the kitchen followed by his smirking boyfriend.

 

Bard turned to look at Bain who was still frowning in confusion.

 

“You alright Bain?” he asked, remembering their conversation from earlier.

 

“Yeah. I’m fine, wait. Wait, ew!” he said, looking at his dad in disgust “Were you two kissing in here? At your age?”

 

Bard chuckled and left the room to go and investigate the new pup.

 

“Kissing! At your age! Fliss and Sigrid were bad enough but you’re old there should be laws about that kind of thing!” he shouted after him.

 

Bard went over to join Thranduil and placed an arm around his waist, noticing his hold on the man was the same as the other two couples in the room.

 

“You okay?” he asked

 

Thranduil surveyed the scene around him.

 

Bain had slouched back into the room, shaking his head in disgust at all the couples around him and went to play with Fíli in the corner. Kíli and Tauriel were all curled up together with their new brood of five tiny little pups whilst Tilda sat next to them, gently stroking Tauriel.

 

Legolas and Gimli, along with Sigrid and Felicity, all seemed content enough in each other’s arms, watching the puppies with fond expressions.

 

It felt so right, this whole scene. This little family all coming together to celebrate new life. For that’s what they really felt like now, a proper family- something he hadn’t known he’d been missing for the last three years.

 

In only a couple of months he’d gone from barely being able to call himself a father, to having his relationship with his son back to how it should be, as well as now having a Son-In-Law, three as-good-as step-kids, a daughter-in-law, three adult dogs and five newborn puppies.

 

“Yes.” He smiled, kissing Bard lightly on the cheek “Yes. I think I finally am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys enjoyed that, and it didn't leave you feeling too unsatisfied. Any feedback on how you think this went would be greatly appreciated, this is the longest thing I've ever written, and I've had so much fun doing it!
> 
> Thank You to everyone who's read this, who's left kudos and left comments! Your support means SO much to me and I've been rather overwhelmed by it all, I'm not sure I can even put it into words! You've really encouraged me to work hard and I've already got several fics lined up for the future, projects I actually now have the confidence to finish, and that's down to you guys. 
> 
> So once again, thank you so much. 
> 
> As a last minute moment of shameless self promotion, I've done a couple of illustration to go alongside this fic which you can find on my art blog here: http://sunlitlake.tumblr.com/tagged/puppy-love  
> Barduil Forever <3


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